C/O Mike Highfield
Nim Agalawatte introduces Sounds Gay!, a new queer-dedicated musical space
It is no secret the city of Hamilton lacks dedicated queer spaces. The 2018 assessment of Hamilton’s 2SLGBTQIA+ community, Mapping the Void, found many did not feel a strong sense of queer belongingness in the city and wanted to see more initiatives.
In the early 2000s and mid-2010s, the Hamilton core was home to several gay bars: The Embassy, The Werx, Rainbow Lounge, M Bar, The Windsor and The Steel Lounge. However, all of them have since closed their doors.
To help fill the void, new queer-focused spaces have been slowly appearing in the past few years, including Queer Outta Hamilton, House of Adam and Steve and Fruit Salad.
One of the latest queer-friendly spaces in the city is Sounds Gay!, a live music performance event hosted by Nim Agalawatte, which had its first event in November 2021 and second in December 2021.
Sounds Gay! aims to fill a gap in the current queer space landscape. There is no denying gay bars and nightclubs play an integral role in the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. Historically, these places served as safe havens for queer individuals. However, it is also important to recognize the need for more low-pressure inclusive spaces.
“The main reason I started [Sounds Gay!] was I was noticing a lot of queer events were focused on dancing or drag shows and it wasn’t very much like music performance stuff,”
Nim Agalawatte
Agalawatte is a Hamilton-based musician, bassist and synth player for the Basement Revolver, 2SLGBTQIA+ advocate and member of the Hamilton Music Advisory Team. They became more aware of the gap after performing as part of Hamilton Pride last year and being one of two non-drag performances.
The positive response to both events of Sounds Gay! reaffirmed the need for diverse queer spaces. Attendees appreciated the friendliness and how welcoming the space was. Tickets were made more accessible as well by using a sliding scale ticket system. Upcoming Sounds Gay! dates have not been planned yet due to the rise in COVID-19 cases, however, Agalawatte is looking forward to continuing them this year.
For Agalawatte, not only was their opportunity to perform affected by the pandemic, but they also lost an important part of their support system.
“A lot of months, I’ve been out of work which kind of does two things: one, not having my regular schedule and things I’m often working on and two, not being able to be around people who often gives you drive and support. I’ve definitely felt down periods and found it hard to motivate myself to work on music,” said Agalawatte.
However, they noted interesting opportunities and new forms of community also arose out of the lockdowns and the pandemic. Agalawatte was able to work on new music remotely with Shanika Maria, queer Black singer-songwriter, for her new recording project Shn Shn. Digital spaces have also become a new place of community gathering.
“I find there has been a light within the pandemic where people, because they’ve been extra lonely or maybe feel more isolated, have found newer forms of community. There [are] a lot of people reaching out on social media or finding each other through the internet and musicians from different parts of the country are also quite connected,” said Agalawatte.
While continuing to create more safe queer events in Hamilton through Sounds Gay!, Agalawatte hopes to support new musicians in Hamilton and open opportunities for those who have not had access to a comfortable and safe stage. Currently, they are promoting their band’s latest album, Embody, and continuing to work on their solo music as well.
Reflections on accompanying loved ones in pain
By: Serena Habib, Contributor
cw: Mentions of self-harm and mental illness
In The Vampire Diaries, the vampires had an inner mechanism called a “humanity switch.” This allowed them to turn off any emotions that made them human so they could completely and carelessly follow their desires.
While I am grateful for my sense of empathy every single day, I sometimes wish I had a little knob I could turn to decrease the pain love brings when people around me are hurting.
While I am grateful for my sense of empathy every single day, I sometimes wish I had a little knob I could turn to decrease the pain love brings when people around me are hurting.
However, empathizing with others allows us to build connections and make a difference in the lives of people around us.
In an interview with Self magazine, Gottman Relationship Institute Co-Founder Julie Schwartz Gottman said that a person’s ability to empathize with others is what makes friendships last.
Psychologists Daniel Goreman and Paul Ekman outline three forms of empathy: cognitive empathy, the ability to understand another person’s perspective; emotional empathy, the ability to share the feelings of another person; and compassionate empathy, which allows us to understand the other person and moves us to take action to help them.
But what happens when your friend has been suffering severely for years from a mental illness? You can see from their perspective, you are agonizing in their pain and you have already tried everything you can do to help, but it doesn’t feel like it makes a difference.
I am scared. I am tired. I dream about her dying and I awake to her messages about how they are hurting themselves. Yet, if my friend was dying from cancer, I would stay with her until their dying day. How is it any different with a mental illness?
I am scared. I am tired.
The definition of love as understood in our society can be summed up by the famous Bible passage from 1 Corinthians. I think about that quote when I think about our friendship.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”
I am being patient and I am being kind. I do not want to be friends with anyone else. I do not think I am a better friend. I am not prideful about what I have done in the friendship for I know we have helped one another.
“It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” I try not to be angry, but it enrages me to see people suffering so gravely due to circumstances they cannot control.
“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” I am grateful for the honesty in our relationship and I want to be there as a listening ear. Our friendship was built upon rawness and mutual support.
“It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” I always refrain from saying things that will be triggering or telling my friend how much this is hurting me because she already feels guilty for it. I do not give up and I never will give up on her being okay.
I always get excited at little glimmers of hope when she messages me about recovery or when we text about mundane things all day, but then I am dejected when the illness re-emerges and I once again see myself losing my best friend.
I get swept up in this whirlwind of pain and hope and confusion and I feel like I am trapped by the friendship that has brought me so much life and liberation.
I get swept up in this whirlwind of pain and hope and confusion and I feel like I am trapped by the friendship that has brought me so much life and liberation.
But then I realize that friendship goes both ways. I am not being honest with myself or patient with myself. I am expecting myself to do everything perfectly and blaming myself if anything goes wrong.
I need to follow these rules for myself. I need to be honest when I need time to put on my oxygen mask so we can both make it through these tumultuous times. Seeing as I can’t flip a switch to make this change, I’m not quite sure how to do this, but I am working on it.
Brass Beauties empowers Hamiltonians with the art of pole-dancing
Seven years ago, Lisa Esposto started pole-dancing. She originally bought into it to strengthen her core. After a month of pole-dancing, she became hooked on taking daily classes.
“It helps me a lot mentally, helps me look at myself in a different way, [I] became more confident in my everyday life . . . It also helps with some physical appearance demons that most females deal with at some point,” said Esposto.
A year later, she purchased the studio from the owner, turning it into Brass Beauties. The name comes from the foundation of treating everyone equally beautiful, as explained by Esposto.
“Everyone creates their own beauty. You can see your instructor, but you’re never going to move like them; you’re going to find your own way. It may be a hybrid, but you’re going to put your own twist on it,” said Esposto.
“Everyone creates their own beauty. You can see your instructor, but you’re never going to move like them; you’re going to find your own way. It may be a hybrid, but you’re going to put your own twist on it,” said Esposto.
As an owner, Esposto’s main responsibilities primarily look at the finances and management of the studio. But as an instructor, she helps women to feel more empowered in many different ways.
“Anybody can do it, you just have to put the time in like everything else in life . . . It’s just how much you want it,” said Esposto.
On a personal level, Esposto tries to ensure women are comfortable within the studio. She provides them with a space to dance that empowers and distracts them from what’s outside the studio’s four walls.
“Life is hard outside, it’s just a space to let them forget about the crappiness of life. If they’re having a bad day, they talk to me and we just go from there. I look at them as my family,” said Esposto.
Despite the studio not being your typical weights-based gym, Brass Beauties still provided a social atmosphere to its dancers.
“Not only are they getting a workout, but we also joke around. So they are missing the social aspect of it right now,” said Esposto.
Esposto also re-iterates how the dancers come together as a huge support system and thus, motivate each other.
“If someone catches you slacking, they’re going to call you out,” said Esposto.
Brass Beauties holds a variety of classes: fitness, dance, tricks, flexibility and hammocks.
The fitness class is all-levels whereas, for the dance classes, they vary by levels, from beginner pole-dancing with heavy instruction to more advanced classes where freestyle is available.
A popular trick class includes upside-down dancing. Flexibility classes include all types of stretching. There is also a floor dancing class, so dancers can transition from the pole to the floor and vice versa.
While the majority of the patrons are adult women, the studio has offered four-week hammock classes for children prior to the COVID-19 pandemic. Now, due to the pandemic, the hammocks can’t be used due to public safety guidelines on cloth usage. With that being said, there are plans for the studio to expand its target audience.
“The plan is to, at some point in the future, incorporate male students. We’ll probably run another children’s program, which was a huge hit,” explained Esposto.
Aside from the classes, Brass Beauties holds two annual shows. Their last show was just before the March 2020 lockdown. They also participate in the Festival of Friends every year, where dancers perform with a portable pole. Two years ago, the studio had the opportunity to participate in Supercrawl.
In the pandemic, the studio had the opportunity to re-open from July to December, in accordance with the provincial government’s guidelines and restrictions.
“It’s a bit of a struggle to offer online classes because not everyone has the equipment [pole],” said Esposto.
When thinking about the long-term future of the studio, Esposto emphasized the importance of exposure to more festivals and accessibility to equipment.
“Right now, my main focus is getting out of COVID and getting the girls back on the poles,” said Esposto.
“Right now, my main focus is getting out of COVID and getting the girls back on the poles,” said Esposto.
Using community to learn about love, sex and health in a pandemic
The first Silhouette issue I remember picking up was the 2018 Sex and the Steel City issue. It started off so normal, but by the time I flipped to the sex toy guide, I recall being rather alarmed, maybe a tad embarrassed. I put the paper back on the stand.
A year later, I was contributing to Sex and the Steel City as the Arts and Culture Reporter. I started to understand how this issue provides an important space for our community to talk about the taboo, the messy and the private. But I didn’t feel I had anything to add to the conversation.
Now it’s two years after that. When I first took on the job that involves planning this issue, I still didn’t feel like I had much to add to this conversation. I wasn’t sure how to plan an issue on topics I am still exploring and learning about.
So I decided to do what I do whenever I write for the Sil: I listened. I have been a student of the dozens of thoughtful interviewees that have taught me about everything from magic to gentrification. So I turned to this community to teach me about love, sex and health.
So I decided to do what I do whenever I write for the Sil: I listened. I have been a student of the dozens of thoughtful interviewees that have taught me about everything from magic to gentrification. So I turned to this community to teach me about love, sex and health.
Over the past few weeks, the most personal stories and intimate art landed in my inbox. Strangers gave me permission to probe their pasts and tinker with their life texts.
So I want to thank every single person who reached out to me about this issue, to everyone who filmed and created and wrote this anthology on the taboo, the messy and the private. I am honoured that my part of the Sil’s legacy is all of your lessons on love.
I never realized how much of a community-based project Sex and the Steel City is until this year. Writing for a newspaper can be very isolating and doing so in a pandemic even more so, but this issue has reminded me of the community that the Sil has formed.
I think COVID-19 has made this issue all the more urgent. This pandemic has upended relationships, cancelled sex lives and wreaked havoc on our collective health. But it has also highlighted the importance of these things. We crave connection perhaps more than we ever have.
So in this year’s Sex and the Steel City, we have sought to tell stories of connection. Not just stories of romantic relationships, but also stories of the relationships with our family members, our friends and ourselves. I hope you know that you’re part of a community that loves and looks forward to this issue, be it your first Sex and the Steel City or your millionth.
Through this community, I have sought to expand my worldview. I’ll be the first to admit that there are representations lacking in this issue, that there are stories left to tell that I hope I’ll read in future issues of Sex and the Steel City.
But my goal was to make sure that you, dear reader, identified with just one word or just one image in this issue, so that you know that this is a conversation that you are a part of, a conversation that I welcome you to add to. More than anything, I hope you learn something.
Table of Contents:
The impact of COVID-19 on Hamilton sex workers by Rya Buckley
University-level dating during the pandemic by Adrian Salopek
Editorial
Relationship wars: who needs a boyfriend when you have a sister? by Nina Sartor
Humans of McMaster: Morghen Jael by Esther Liu
What does it mean to be a man? by Sarah Lopes Sadafi
Sil Time Capsule: Students on the importance of sex education by Nisha Gill
Coming out as nonbinary by Fran O'Donnell
Self-acceptance takes time by Samantha McBride
The stories close to our hearts by Nisha Gill
Eight queer, sex-positive accounts to follow on Instagram by Subin Park
Art featured from various artists
Food Flavoured Love, a poem by Serena Habib
Eight cozy virtual date ideas by Tracy Huynh
Thoughts from an Indian emigrant on arranged marriages by Sharang Sharma
Lessons from my sister: kaleidoscope of love by Niko Haloulos
Humanity Switch? I wish. by Serena Habib
Sil Sit Down with Dr. Iman Benerji by Urszula Sitarz
Finding Comfort in the Little Things by Nisha Gill
Define your own beauty by Krishihan Sivapragasam
How pelvic floor physiotherapy can help with sexual dysfunction
The Silhouette sat down with McMaster University graduate and currently licensed physical therapist Dr. Iman Banerji to discuss pelvic floor physiotherapy and how it can help folks experiencing pain or discomfort with sex.
Banerji graduated from McMaster in 2017 with a bachelor of science and is now a pelvic and orthopedic physical therapist working in North Carolina after graduating from Duke University in 2020. Banerji always knew that she wanted to be in healthcare.
“I was always told as a child of immigrants that I need to become a doctor, but I never really thought about what that meant until I was actually in the thick of undergrad thinking about grad school,” said Banerji. “I started looking into other different realms of healthcare, other ways that I could be part of the healthcare team and combine my love for human connection and science with being a health care provider and upon looking into it a little bit more I realized that physiotherapy was actually more so the path that I wanted to take.”
“I started looking into other different realms of healthcare, other ways that I could be part of the healthcare team and combine my love for human connection and science with being a health care provider and upon looking into it a little bit more I realized that physiotherapy was actually more so the path that I wanted to take.”
When asked about how she became interested in pelvic floor therapy, Banerji said a friend brought her to a student-run pelvic health meeting where she learned about the different conditions and about the patient population.
She felt that through PFT, she could challenge the historical and present issue of women in healthcare not always being believed or taken seriously. She also wanted to be a healthcare provider for all genders.
“With pelvic floor physiotherapy there's a great chance to work with the trans population, who also has a very difficult time navigating the healthcare system, unfortunately. Again, I wanted to be a part of that and I wanted to be a healthcare provider that was inclusive to all genders,” explained Banerji.
The pelvic muscles are an important part of urinary and digestive health as they support the bladder and bowels. They also play an important role in sexual dysfunction.
“So if you are having pelvic pain or pain with sex, sometimes these muscles can be the root of the cause. [If] you notice that insertion or penetration or ejaculation or arousal or anything of the kind feels a little bit painful, the culprit could actually be your pelvic floor muscles,” explained Banerji.
PFT can help reduce pain and increase pleasure in sex through both emotional components and physical exercises. Banerji stressed that consent is essential in all physiotherapy and with consent, a physiotherapist may conduct a pelvic floor assessment to understand and intervene with the pain.
“We can see if your pain is reproduced and if it is, can we do some type of manual intervention to the pelvic floor to see if it can calm down and relax a little bit more, if we can relieve some of that pain . . . we find ways to exercise the pelvic floor in such a way that it can relax and lengthen and not feel so painful on its own. So, there [are] many different strategies and many different techniques that we can use to help reduce pain,” said Banerji.
PFT relieves pain through a multi-modal approach. Banerji emphasized that physiotherapy is holistic and often includes an acknowledgement of the different factors that contribute to pain, including past experiences and trauma.
“I like to take an approach of: I’m your physical therapist and your guide, so I’m not here to fix you or change you or anything like that,” said Banerji.
“I like to take an approach of: I’m your physical therapist and your guide, so I’m not here to fix you or change you or anything like that,” said Banerji.
Part of this approach includes working to help her patients feel that they have a bit more control in their lives. She does a lot of education with patients to both help them understand their bodies and to empower them.
Stigma, shame and systemic factors around sexuality and sexual dysfunction can contribute to patients feeling disempowered or prevent them from seeking care.
People with vaginas are often socialized to believe that pain with sex is inevitable, prioritizing a heteronormative and patriarchal notion that sex is only about men’s pleasure.
“I also think a lot of people don't entirely know who to tell, which is why I love conversations like this. The more people can learn that you don't have to deal with painful sex, this is not a forever thing, you can actually go to someone who can help you, I think can be really empowering and really exciting for a lot of people. I'm going to be very blunt but sex should not be painful, it shouldn't. Really, it should be consensual and it should be fun and it should be pleasing and all these things, but it should not be painful,” said Banerji.
When asked what she would say to folks experiencing shame with their pain or sexual dysfunction, Banerji promised that no providers will judge or make you feel embarrassed.
“For anyone who is thinking about going down this route, it's okay if you're not ready. Not everyone is ready to be part of the journey of being in pelvic PT. It is very personal and it's very intimate for a lot of people and not everybody is ready for that and that's okay. But, if some of the things that I talked about could potentially resonate with you, just know that there are pelvic-specific physios out there who would be more than happy to help you, with your symptoms whenever you are ready,” said Banerji.
Banerji explained that while PFT can be an important pain management tool for many, it may not be the only treatment. She also explained that though it may take some time to find a physiotherapist that you feel comfortable with, it’s worth it.
“This is not just you. There's nothing wrong with you. This is just something that you're experiencing, but it is not a defining factor of who you are and there are things that we can do about it together,” said Banerji.
Physiotherapy is direct access in Canada and the United States, meaning you do not need a referral from a physician and can reach out to a pelvic health physiotherapist directly.
Comfort is at the heart of local underwear business Bed Peace Intimates
Feeling comfortable in your skin can go a long way. Often overlooked though is the importance of being comfortable. Both ideas of comfort are at the heart of Maya Lyn’s business Bed Peace Intimates.
The idea for Bed Peace Intimates initially came to Lyn in high school. Since then, she gathered the necessary experiences that made her vision a reality. She studied fashion arts and business at Humber College and then took an intensive sewing course at George Brown College before launching her business on Instagram in spring 2017.
Lyn makes mostly underwear, bralettes and sports bras, usually in bright, vibrant colours. It was important to Lyn to ensure her business was sustainable so all her pieces are made-to-order using made-in-Canada organic cotton hemp.
Since launching, the reception has been overwhelmingly positive. An added bonus of her made-to-order model and using Instagram is that Lyn is able to have more interaction with her customers than she might have had otherwise.
“So they'll send me pictures afterwards, or they'll write really sweet messages about how perfectly they fit or how they love the colour,” explained Lyn.
At the core of her business is the belief that fabrics we keep closest to our bodies should be comfortable and make us feel good. That’s why she’s very appreciative of the feedback because it helps her to see that her business is fulfilling its goals.
Everything comes back to these ideas of comfort and kindness for Lyn.
“It's all about comfort for me. I seldom call it lingerie because I've never been attracted to lingerie. It's just not my jam but intimates to me that means they're comfortable, they're flexible. You can wear it at work, you can wear it at home, you can wear it when you're resting. And it's also sexy. When you feel comfortable in your body you are prone to feeling sexy and good in your body because you feel comfortable,” explained Lyn.
“It's all about comfort for me. I seldom call it lingerie because I've never been attracted to lingerie. It's just not my jam but intimates to me that means they're comfortable, they're flexible."
Especially in the context of the pandemic, choosing something comfortable (and colourful!) can go a long way in making individuals not only feel more comfortable in their bodies but also for brightening their days a bit.
“I know the few days that I haven't got dressed in the morning, those days are just hazy. And it's kind of fun but you do feel a little bit like the day is just a big blob. So maybe having Bed Peace, putting on a nice sports bra that's comfortable, that doesn't have an underwire and putting on a nice, comfortable, colourful pair of underwear and then putting on some sort of comfortable, but home outfit could be a game-changer for people who are stuck at home and feeling it,” said Lyn.
Comfort is for everyone and Lyn feels strongly about ensuring that all aspects of her are accessible and inclusive. She offers a sliding scale for those who may need it. She also strives to be size-inclusive, featuring a size range of small to three XL.
In regards to the promotion of her business, such as for photoshoots, it’s very important for Lyn to work with photographers and models who are Black, Indigenous or People of Colour.
“Collaborating together and being a part of the collaboration team to be like, “Okay, what would make you feel excited to see on an advertisement for underwear?” [is really important] . . . I'm just thinking about how a brand can be all-encompassing and mindful about representation and tokenism and how to actually just make something that's really cool and authentic visually,” added Lyn.
Lyn’s Bed Peace Intimates helps to highlight the importance of feeling comfortable in your skin, figuratively and literally, but furthermore it also actively encourages individuals to seek out comfort and helps them find it.
Currently, Bed Peace Intimates is on a brief hiatus but Lyn has plans to resume her business in the spring.
Gender? I hardly know ‘er!
By: Fran O’Donnell, Contributor
A few months ago I came out as nonbinary, changed my name and started using they/them pronouns. Let’s talk about it. This piece is fragmented and confusing and deliberately so, because boy, oh boy, gender is confusing.
I came out as bisexual many, many years ago and I (mostly, kind of) have my sexuality figured out. It never occurred to me to question my gender. I’ve always been most comfortable when I looked gender-nonconforming, but I just didn’t think about it too much. My discomfort with my body was probably just unrelated, right?
I’ve always been most comfortable when I looked gender-nonconforming, but I just didn’t think about it too much. My discomfort with my body was probably just unrelated, right?
It’s completely normal to want to hide your body away under a mountain of oversized sweaters. It’s absolutely normal to feel uncomfortable seeing your body. It’s perfectly normal to feel like the person you see in the mirror isn’t really you. To feel like your body isn’t yours.
Right?
Image description of a meme I used to have saved on my phone that I can’t find anywhere: A brave warrior has just defeated their foe. The warrior is labelled “Me” and their vanquished foe is “Finally figuring out my sexuality.” But then, behind the warrior, there is an ominous, looming figure labelled “My gender identity”.
Coming out as nonbinary, for me, was a bit like wearing really tight, uncomfortable clothes. You don’t really notice how uncomfortable you were until you take them off. Like “wow, I can breathe again! I didn’t realize I’d stopped breathing”. And once you’ve taken them off, you realize that these clothes haven’t fit you for a long time or maybe they never fit you at all.
Coming out as nonbinary, for me, was a bit like wearing really tight, uncomfortable clothes. You don’t really notice how uncomfortable you were until you take them off. Like “wow, I can breathe again! I didn’t realize I’d stopped breathing”.
Before I get too far ahead of myself, let’s talk a bit about what nonbinary means. A binary is made up of two parts. In this case, male and female. We live in a very binary society, with everything divided up into two. You’re a man or you’re a woman.
If you’ve ever worked in retail, you’ll know that you have to address everyone as ma’am, miss or sir, depending on your judgment of how they look. But what happens when someone doesn’t quite fit into one of these categories?
Nonbinary is an umbrella term that covers a variety of identities and experiences. Some folks switch between masculine and feminine depending on the day, some are both and others prefer to be funky little cryptids that mere mortals cannot identify.
Gender is an intensely personal experience and it varies from person to person. We’re all having gender trouble. For me, I’m most at home outside of the gender binary and I don’t want to be perceived as male or female. So I’m not binary.
When I first came out as nonbinary, I wanted to dress as androgynously as possible. I wanted everyone that saw me to immediately know that I was nonbinary. I had a vague vision of “nonbinary” in my head and I wanted to match it. Should I cut my hair? Should I throw out all the skirts I love so much?
I didn’t do that. First, I really like skirts. They’re so comfortable and they make me feel like a forest fairy. Second, this was just another box that I was needlessly forcing myself into. Kind of the opposite of what I wanted, you know? There’s no one “right” way to be nonbinary. Gender is a spectrum, not a paint-by-numbers.
Why am I writing this now? Because I wish I'd read something like this when I was younger. Seeing myself represented and being understood is the most important thing in the world to me. So if like me, you’re questioning your gender, I just want to let you know that it’s okay. Not only is it okay, it’s rad as heck and I’m super happy for you!
Seeing myself represented and being understood is the most important thing in the world to me. So if like me, you’re questioning your gender, I just want to let you know that it’s okay.
As Abigail Thorn said, “I look inside myself and ask: “Do I feel like a man, or a woman?” And the answer is . . . I feel happy.”
Here are just a few of the resources that helped me out, and I hope they’ll help you out too:
Artist: Edwin Thomas, @edwinthomas__
Title: his last valentine
Medium: single-line digital drawing with watercolour
Description: A first glance, the drawing appears to portray a man giving his girlfriend flowers. However, the details show both individuals with tears leaving their eyes, trying to keep themselves composed in front of each other. It depicts a failed attempt at saving a relationship by making an effort for Valentine's Day. While the flowers appear to be a nice gesture, both individuals know that their relationship is not going to last for much longer. In a way, the flowers are an apology to his girlfriend for his lack of effort in the relationship.
Artist: Jenna Iacobucci, @jennaiacobucci
Title: Pose me (1-5)
Medium: Ink illustration
Description: As with many, growing up with a conservative mindset brings a lot to overcome. But why should we be so scared to appease others? Each person offers a different experience, different backstory, different perspective, different strengths and different struggles — and it's wonderful. If only everyone could appreciate the beautiful composition of shapes they are.
Artist: Jenna Iacobucci, @jennaiacobucci
Title: Comfort (1-2)
Medium: Photography
Description: Do what you need to do to make yourself feel confident. From personal experience — turtle necks, baggy sweaters, long pants and censorship has only brought me delayed anxiety and stress in relations. I truly push for everyone to understand themselves. Don't hide.
Artist: Steffi Arkilander, @peachlily.png
Title: love is domesticity
Medium: Digital
Description: 2SLGBTQIA+ love is often fetishized and over-sexualized. However, 2SLGBTQIA+ love is so much more than how it’s stereotyped — it can be soft, gentle, kind. In this piece, I wanted to highlight the importance of soft, domestic 2SLGBTQIA+ love. I took inspiration from watching and reading about 2SLGTBQIA+ in media and also from my own life experiences to come up with this piece. “love is domesticity” highlights a queer couple watching television together and cuddling during a night in.
Artist: Emelia Da Silva, @emeliainbloom
Medium: Photography
We are stronger together when we love one another
C/O Jon Tyson on Unsplash
In 2020, I was given the insurmountable task as Arts and Culture Editor to create and produce the Silhouette’s annual love and positivity issue, Sex and the Steel City. A tradition for each person in my role, the beginning of SATSC dates back at least 10 years ago.
While it has evolved over the years with each A&C Editor giving it their own spin, the core values remain the same: to give the McMaster and Hamilton communities a creative outlet to talk about sex, body postivity, identity and love. In recent years, SATSC has focused on diversity, self-identity and this year, we focus on education — both formal and informal.
Over the last three years, we have seen a regressional way of thinking from our provincial government. One of the first acts that Premier Doug Ford enacted when elected was to repeal the then-new sex education curriculm.
Updated in 2015 by Kathleen Wynne’s Liberal government, this was the first revision sex-ed had seen since 1998. Topics surrounding 2SLGBTQIA+ communities, sexting, gender identity and consent were added to better keep up with modern values. Instead, the Ford government proposed a new curriculum; however, after much lobbying by students, little was changed.
In the United States and around the world, homophobia and transphobia still run rampant. Sex work continues to be criminalized. Many still wonder if they should teach their kids about “taboo” subjects. While these are issues that are larger than any one person, these are topics that are explored in this year’s Sex and the Steel City. Our way of acknowledging and bringing awareness to these issues that continue to plague society.
Now more than ever, we need unity. We live in a divided world. We live on a divided continent. We live in a divided nation. We live in a divided province. Now is the time to take action, to stand up for what you believe in. Now is the time to unite (albeit virtually) to create change and to be a voice for the voiceless.
Sex and the Steel City is a small annual reminder of that unity that we should all strive for. I hope you take the time to read through the 36 pages of this extended special issue. May this issue serve as a reminder: a reminder that we are stronger together when we love one another.
