Gregory Wygoni
The Silhouette

Should you fall in love during your undergrad?

Such a question could extend to the generalization of whether one should fall in love at all. The argument goes as follows that when you fall (or rise) in love, you will do incredible things. You will become happiest you have ever been. You will share yourself with your partner. And you become a better person because they are better themselves. Contrarily, s you realize they don’t love you, they break your heart, you become phlegmatic and desensitized, and love – that feeling of happiness and satisfaction that you could be better because of someone else – is thrown out the window.

Love, then, becomes a question of uncertainty and fear. ‘What if it doesn’t work’ brings with it vulnerabilities and insecurities. You see the end. You see sadness. But oh, what if it did? What if it worked and we were in love indeed!

Such arguments do not necessarily apply to the undergraduate young adult though. Albeit it difficult to define a reason to attend undergrad at all (paying thousands of dollars for something contained in a Wikipedia article is hard to economically support), it is an important time for someone to develop individually and to realize what they want to do. During undergrad, a person often becomes whole in their messy transition to adulthood. It allows time for reflection to better understand themselves.

Yet when one inhales the airs of love, they suddenly become enwrapped in another person. Their concerns and priorities are at times put aside to serve someone else. And though this teaches the person admirable qualities of selflessness, most relationships do not last. The person becomes happy for a while, and then the relationship fizzles out or becomes a heart-ache. And here in this gnawing absence lies the question: is it better to end the heartache and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to?

And I reply no. When you are young, you are malleable, and the growth you can receive with someone, if they are truly right, is immeasurable. If they break your heart, or you theirs, there is much time left to rebuild and restructure.

Even better, during undergrad there is little to rebuild, besides perhaps your beerpong table or your GPA. Perhaps the strongest argument for support of love in your undergrad is that it may work, and look how happy you can be.

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