Cassandra Jeffery
Assistant InsideOut Editor
Think back to the last time you had an erotic night of pleasure: the urge to feel sexually satisfied was heightened to the point of necessity, everything your partner said or did seemed oddly sexy and provocative, and every touch was a complete and unfair tease. Physical intimacy is a sensual and loving experience, but it can also be exciting, thrilling, more powerful than all forms of self satisfaction.
But however fantastic the risqué realm of sex can be, university students are busy individuals who do not have the luxury to be in constant sexual stand by. Let’s face it, there will time periods of limited physical contact (if any) between you and your partner. There will be the dreaded dry spells.
Despite the dreary dries, it’s important to fight back and keep the heat flowing in a relationship. Phone sex can allow you and your partner to remain intimate without physical contact.
Phone sex takes various meanings for different people, though it essentially about explicitly sexual conversation via the telephone while one or both partners masturbate. “I’d define phone sex as ‘virtual sex’—hot and heavy moaning, dirty talk, basically X rated conversation with another while masturbating,” says fourth-year English student Vanessa Tall.
Phone sex isn’t for everyone. Sometimes, these heated sexual discussions can be embarrassing or simply overwhelming. It can, though, add openness and honesty to your physical sex life.
For those in long-distance relationships, phone sex is one way to relax and forget about the distance. Some people, such as Tall, consider it a healthy aspect of their sex life.
“I’m in a long-distance relationship, so being able to pleasure myself while simultaneously pleasuring my partner (minus physical touch, of course) is reason enough for me to have phone sex.
It allows for intimacy which we may otherwise not be able to get while apart from one another,” admits Tall.
It releases any sexual tension that remains at bay, even though virtual sex is not comparable to the intimacy and affection displayed physically.
“It’s also reassurance that my partner is missing me just as much as I’m missing him,” says Tall.
On the other hand, when the urge strikes and your partner isn’t around, virtual fantasies can imitate your most erotic desires; it may even be a great way to let loose and fantasize something that you’ve never done before.
It’s important to keep in mind that engaging in virtual sex is meant to be an exciting way to spice up your love life and not a reason for embarrassment.
Try to remain confident and remember that you’re not a phone sex professional, which means no one’s expecting you to be a pornographic all star.
Even experienced individuals such as Tall sometimes find the notion humorous. “Phone sex can get a bit awkward – I’ve found myself giggling at times. But closing your eyes and visioning that other person in your physical presence really helps. And on the up side, it’ll make you want to jump your partner all the more when you finally do get to see them.”
If you’re interested in trying phone sex, don’t be afraid to talk to your partner, and ease into it by maintaining good communication. Try it as a way to live out your favourite fantasies.
But if phone sex isn’t for you, then you can always stick to your usual methods of sexual release.
