While my undergrad has been the hardest years of my life, it has also been the most crucial to my overall growth
If you were to ask me in high school what I thought university was going to entail, I would have just told you some stress but still an overall exciting four years. Although that has been true, it does not depict or merely explain what these four years were.
From the first day of my undergrad in 2019, I was so excited to start this new life of mine. University was all I ever dreamed about, especially during the number of times in high school I was eager to leave. Now that it had arrived, it was seeming exactly like I had rehearsed over the years in my head.
Stress, loads of reading and writing, but overall growth and change; I was one step closer to my life. Yet little did I know what I was going to endure. It was the complete opposite.
These four years have been the most difficult years of my life and although it may be easy to point the finger at 20-page papers, this wasn't the only reason.
Your early 20s are the epitome of your adulthood. You grow immensely and the growing only begins. The second I walked into university, I not only lost friends, but I went through the hardest break up of my life, then had to finish the rest of the two years of my undergrad online because a global pandemic was underway.
Half of my undergrad was spent virtually, my mental health was crippling and I never felt more alone. This was university?
I had so many ideas in my head as to what I thought it would be and this wasn't it. But those ideas were also part of the problem.
I learned that I needed to let go of the idea I had and wanted and instead accept my journey for what it was. Moreover, I could always still the reigns back, so I did. In the peak of pandemic I started working on my mental health and took a chance to breathe.
I learned that I needed to let go of the idea I had and wanted and instead accept my journey for what it was. Moreover, I could always still the reigns back, so I did. In the peak of COVID I started working on my mental health and took a chance to breathe.
Healing all of the heart break and loss was immensely needed, thus I instead viewed the pandemic with admiration in ways, a lesson I learned I’ve learned time and time again.
Walking into McMaster University, I was beyond scared, selfless in unhealthy ways and overly self-critical. After spending time alone at home for so long, I learned I truly was my only fan, supporter and friend and that I needed to take care of that.
And it was when I was stuck at home that I remembered touring the campus and seeing The Silhouette’s office around my first week – all I loved to do was to write and while everything seemed so far and impossible at that point, I still thought why not? and started writing.
I started growing with my writing with the Silhouette. As I became a staff writer, I also began spacing out my studying and understanding how to do things that were best for my abilities and well-being.
I found beauty in being in my own presence, beauty in my work and craft and beauty all around me. My undergrad never stopped testing me as I dealt with more grief, stress and mental health struggles regardless of the grip I started to have.
Although one may see university as just improving your own logic for your future, more specifically within your work field, university bettered me as a human-being.
I learned how to take care of myself. I learned more things about myself when I thought I already knew it all and more importantly – I kicked university's butt and some.
I did things I never thought I could for myself and for my future self. Now I am the Opinions Editor for the Silhouette and I am just weeks away from graduating. I have learned so much along the way, met so many amazing people and gained so many new skills.
It turned out to be a lot better than what I thought it was. A lot better.
Check out how undergrads of each year feel about wrapping up their first post-COVID restriction era university year.
Adriana Miranda — 1st Year Social Sciences
While first-year social science student Adriana Miranda would describe her overall first-year experience as rewarding, she expressed how completing her first year has left her with hard-hitting life lessons she can always carry with her.
Miranda feels that she truly came into learning how to confidently advocate for herself and her needs. She now understands that in university if she needs access to any available resources on campus, she must ask for it herself. This component of university taught Miranda that she must always be aware of her rights.
Even if Miranda is currently enjoying wrapping up her second semester with new friends, as a racialized student she faced systemic barriers in her first semester when she was still relatively new at McMaster.
“I never felt othered until I started attending McMaster. I saw many racialized students experience isolation and have difficulty making friends. Noticing this influenced how I viewed my classes, peers and professors. Thankfully, once I made friends everything got better,”
Adriana Miranda
In Miranda’s experience, she believes that McMaster can take a greater initiative when it comes to protecting and standing up for students experiencing sexual harassment and violence on campus. Even in departments dedicated to handling such issues such as the Human Rights and Dispute Resolution Program Miranda did not feel cared for or validated by the school.
“After all that, my main takeaway is that it’s built on colonialism and patriarchy. I’m realizing that now, I’m not going to be as naïve and as trusting with the institution because I’m now aware of what people in charge perpetuate,” said Miranda.
Going forward, Miranda will focus on finding spaces for racialized students like the Latin American Student Association and Women and Gender Equity Network where she can feel safer and more included.
Elizabeth Rylaarsdam — 2nd Year Life Sciences - Sensory Motors System
Now in her second year, Elizabeth Rylaarsdam had to adapt her first year in the life sciences program online. This year, she moved to Hamilton from Ottawa.
“When everything was online, it still felt like school. However, when I moved away alone for the first time to a new city and transitioned to a hybrid [format], everything felt optional,”
Elizabeth Rylaarsdam
In this year’s hybrid academic model, Rylaarsdam had trouble staying motivated in her online courses as switching between online and in person repeatedly between courses made some classes feel more real for her than others. Rylaarsdam had to adapt her learning style many times in university due to the COVID approaches taken by McMaster along with many second-years and has been unable to establish a routine that works for her.
Living alone combined with the physical demands caused by in-person learning made Rylaarsdam lessen the number of hours she worked to avoid falling behind academically. She reduced her working hours from 30 hours a week to 10 to 12 hours even if her living expenses increased.
It was difficult for Rylaarsdam to find a core social group within a school setting as she observed others in her year have somehow formed friend groups already. Aside from hanging out with her hometown friends from high school friends who also attend McMaster, Rylaarsdam managed her mental health by joining the Hamilton Hornets Women’s Rugby Club.
Playing rugby weekly allowed Rylaarsdam to stay in shape while being able to find a community that she regularly socializes with in a new city.
“Despite the tumultuous learning curves of moving and finally starting in person university where I felt like I experienced much of the learning I was supposed to get in my first year in my second year, I am hopeful about starting fresh next semester after a restful summer now that I know what to expect,” explained Rylaarsdam.
Jaclyn Holdsworth — 3rd year Arts and Sciences
Jaclyn Holdsworth’s third-year experience in the arts and sciences was defined by the bonding she experienced with her cohort post lockdown. Holdsworth experienced connecting and making friendships in her first year within the community culture fostered by her program before enduring Zoom university until this semester.
“After so much time in lockdown, everyone had more appreciation for the kind of social network and the relationships we wanted to have with others. We are a lot more willing to foster relationships and the quality of those relationships are a lot more authentic,”
Jaclyn Holdsworth
Experiencing the isolation of Zoom school was difficult for Holdsworth, however it caused her to become more willing to acknowledge the times when she is not feeling her best. To mitigate her mental health, Holdsworth stresses the importance of doing at least one small act of self-care every day, be it restocking snacks or going for a walk.
Embracing and taking care of oneself even when times are tough allowed many third-years like Holdsworth to understand that better times await, and that you are in a much better position to be able to support other others if you start to take care of yourself as well.
Upon tasting in-person life after a world-shattering event, and still with one year of university left, Holdsworth vows to make herself happy everyday instead of planning for possible contentment five years down the line. Trying not to take her undergraduate experience for granted anymore, Holdsworth encourages everybody to take the time to be present and practice gratitude every day.
“I would prefer not another pandemic if you can arrange for that. Plan for tomorrow but don’t depend on it,” said Holdsworth.
Claudia Yong — 4th year Kinesiology (Graduating)
Working tirelessly on her kinesiology degree throughout her undergrad, Claudia Yong waves a bittersweet goodbye to her time as an undergrad student as she returned to classes in-person just in time to graduate. Yong still feels a little unfamiliar in her position as a fourth-year student given that she lost a year to COVID, and wonders if other graduating students are also feeling a sense of imposter syndrome.
“The moment I realized I was graduating was when we were taking grad photos. When I put on the gown and sat in the chair for photos, it was surreal, and I could not believe it. The moment the camera went off I finally realized that I’m graduating,” said Yong.
Fortunately, the return to classes this academic year allowed Yong to pursue the hands-on thesis work she always dreamt of doing and ignited a passion for research in her. Missing out on much of the experiential learning of her science degree in her third year, COVID greatly influenced Yong’s decision to pursue a masters to once again give herself the opportunity to explore and further expand on the research skills she fell in love with.
With the end of her degree, Yong is continuing to learn not to compare herself and her journey with others, understanding that everybody has their own destined trajectory.
Referencing the kindness of her kinesiology professors, Yong always encourages the importance of fostering meaningful connections for personal enrichment with faculty members, regardless of a desire for recommendation letters.
Claudia Yong
“Many women including myself experience a lot of dismissiveness in healthcare, even from other female practitioners. I want to positively impact the healthcare system for women who might otherwise avoid treatment,”
I don’t know what I want to do after undergrad, but I’ve come to learn a few things from it
Graphic By Esra Rakab / Production Coordinator
Back in Grade 12, when I was applying to university, I applied to 11 different programs — all in science or engineering. I was uncertain about what exactly I wanted to do and what university I wanted to go to, but I was sure that I wanted to do something within the STEM field (science, technology, engineering and mathematics). Fast forward to September 2017 and I had officially started my undergraduate degree in health sciences at McMaster University.
Although I still had an interest in engineering and other programs like kinesiology, I thought that health sciences was a good fit due to its flexibility with electives. In addition, I had considered becoming a doctor — and didn’t most people in this program become a doctor? While I was right about the latter, the idea of becoming a doctor was only an idea that was floating around in my brain at the moment.
However, things came up. I realized that medical school, unfortunately, wasn’t accessible to disabled students. So what was next on my list? To be honest, when I came to this realization in my first and second years, I wasn’t sure what was next. But I had the rest of my undergraduate degree ahead of me, so I shouldn’t have to worry about it, right?
Unfortunately for me, I was very worried. It seemed as if everyone in my program knew exactly what they were going to do — they were going to be a doctor. They were going to write their medical college admissions test after their second year and apply to medical schools in their third. If they didn’t get in that year, they’d apply in their fourth year.
Unfortunately for me, I was very worried. It seemed as if everyone in my program knew exactly what they were going to do — they were going to be a doctor.
To be surrounded by people who know exactly what they want to do when you’re just struggling to have your head above water is terrifying. I felt the need to still take courses I didn’t like in order to maintain a high grade point average (just in case I changed my mind about med school, of course). All I wanted to have was some sort of stability, some goal to aspire to. If that wasn’t med school, then I wanted to know what career I would be pursuing.
The thing is, I hadn’t been sure of pursuing any career — even in high school, I was so uncertain of what program I wanted to do. I picked health sciences on a whim. So by now, you think I would be okay with uncertainty, right?
Uncertainty is still hard for me. Not knowing what goal to pursue can be scary for many people. But, I’m going to graduate very soon and my perspective has changed a lot. Although I’m still coming to terms with being okay with uncertainty, I have learned a couple of things.
The first thing is: do things because you enjoy them. Take courses you enjoy, not because you think you should take them. Don’t take that microeconomics course if it’s not what you’re really interested in doing. Take courses that you like, even if they aren’t “a part of” your program.
The first thing is — do things because you enjoy them. Take courses you enjoy, not because you think you should take them.
I took an English course this year because I thought it looked interesting, not because it was a requirement for a potential career. While it is important to look out for your future, doing prerequisites isn’t the be-all end-all.
The English course I took ended up being one of my favourite courses I’ve taken and led me to meet a really cool instructor that I actually met to talk about potentially pursuing a master’s degree in English. By taking a course I enjoyed, I opened a career path I may not have considered before now.
Secondly, it’s okay to not have your future mapped out. If you decide you don’t want to become a certain profession, even if you have it all planned out and are about to graduate, it’s okay to change your mind. Don’t go into something because you feel pressured by your parents or other students.
Secondly, it’s okay to not have your future mapped out. If you decide you don’t want to become a certain profession, even if you have it all planned out and are about to graduate, it’s okay to change your mind.
I don’t know, maybe I still will become a doctor. I don’t know what lies ahead in my future. I’ve considered occupational therapy, physiotherapy, law, becoming a professor, social work, nursing, journalism and more.
My idea of what I want to do changes very frequently, but that’s okay because I want to take my time so that I’m 100 per cent certain that I like my future career. Even if my mind changes after I enter a certain profession, though, that’s okay too.
Being okay with uncertainty is hard, but sometimes uncertainty helps you figure out what you truly want to do. We should learn to embrace uncertainty more — after all, it’s completely normal not to know what you want to do.
By: Anonymous contributor
I never imagined that I would date my teaching assistant. I also never imagined that I would have a “W” on my transcript from dropping their class. Dating my TA was probably one of the worst decisions of my undergraduate degree.
When I got into a relationship with my TA last semester, I didn’t think it was too big of a deal. Dating your TA is much more socially-accepted than dating your professor or course instructor.
For one, the age differences between you and your TA aren’t always that big. My TA was two years older than me, but I’ve had TAs who were my age or younger. In that case, it’s hard to impose a ban against two consenting 20-somethings dating.
But what a lot of people don’t recognize is that there’s a power imbalance when dating your TA. Even when they’re the same age, or a bit older, there’s the fact that the TA is in a position that can strongly influence your academics and career.
When I had talked with my TA about our relationship, he told me that the department frowned upon student-TA relationships but there was no strict rule against them. While he was “required” to fill out a conflict-of-interest form, nobody forced him too. As long as he gave my assignments to another TA to grade, nobody batted an eye at our relationship.
I don’t think that’s enough. Especially in classes where TAs are asked to deliver lectures or hold review sessions, it’s not enough to require TAs in relationships with their students to not directly grade their work. Their presence alone influences their students’ marks.
Even when I got out of the relationship, I still felt ashamed and embarrassed every time I had to see him in tutorial or lecture. When I found out that he had marked my midterm, I was angry but didn’t know what to do. It’s difficult to tell your professor the reason you want to switch tutorials or have your test remarked is because you slept with your TA.
In the end, I ended up dropping the class and dodging questions from people asking me why. I still see my TA around campus, however, and I’m scared that I’ll be assigned to his class again. I’ve been so anxious that I’m even considering switching programs to avoid him.
A conflict of interest policy is not sufficient. I reviewed Mac’s conflict of interest policy for employees and there is a section that states that a conflict of interest is present when an employee of the university engages in an “intimate relationship with a person who relies upon them for opportunities to further their academic or employment career”.
However, the only actions an individual must take when this conflict arises is to report to their direct supervisor, who can then decide if the “conflict is confirmed”. If it is, then the case is moved to higher-ups who decide what sort of actions need to be taken to remove the conflict.
But by the time that decision is made, it’s probably too far into the semester to make any changes. In my case, my TA didn’t bother disclosing our relationship since he knew the only action that was required was that he didn’t grade my work.
Even though it states in the policy that failure to report will result in “appropriate disciplinary procedures”, I’m not confident that the university enforces this.
McMaster University should protect their students by banning student-TA, or any student-faculty, relationships altogether. These relationships have harmful power dynamics that blur the lines of consent, and can sometimes be considered sexual harassment or assault.
I’m not saying that all student-TA relationships end poorly. Sometimes it really is just bad timing when two people happen to meet. But if a relationship is meant to be, it can wait till the end of the semester to begin.
Dating your TA seems like a fun and sexy experience. In reality, this kind of relationship can be complicated, embarrassing and act as a huge stress on your academics and your mental health. Honestly, that cute TA isn’t worth it.
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By: Donna Nadeem
Despite McMaster’s large undergraduate population, many students do not seem to want to stick around in Hamilton despite the growing number of jobs in the city.
The city of Hamilton has seen a drop in the unemployment rate as of May 2017 of 6.3 per cent to 5.2 per cent, which is the lowest rate the city has seen since Sept. 2015.
Yet students have typically been less likely to stay in Hamilton because they cannot find jobs that relate to either their education or interests. A “Your City Survey” was done in 2011 and then updated in 2016 that showed that McMaster was doing a better job of advertising job opportunities and that they have made significantly more efforts than the city of Hamilton.
In 2011, when the first survey was done, around 55 per cent of individuals surveyed that they would consider living in Hamilton after graduation. In 2016, a newer iteration of the survey showed a 20 per cent increase which now meant that 75 per cent of individuals would consider living in Hamilton after graduation.
Initiatives like Hack the City, a project created in 2016 by the current McMaster Students Union vice president (Finance), Daniel “Tuba” D’Souza, has given students the opportunity to learn more about employment opportunities in the city.
“I think Hack the City provided a valuable opportunity for students to learn more about projects occurring within the city of Hamilton in the healthcare, infrastructure and energy sectors,” said D’Souza.
A recent 2017 BMO Regional Market report done showed that the employment rate in Hamilton is up 12.5 per cent and that the unemployment rate is 4.2 per cent, the lowest in Canada outside of Quebec City and putting Hamilton in the top 10 for city labour market performance ranking in Canada.
Other initiatives like Hamilton Employment Crawl have been designed to educate third and fourth-year students on employment opportunities in Hamilton post-grad. Hamilton Employment Crawl was a partnership between McMaster, Mohawk College, Redeemer University College and Hamilton Economic Development.
This event helps educate students on the career opportunities that existed post-grad in the city of Hamilton through a series of industry tours. One of the tours is a Small Business Enterprise Centre at City Hall where students learn how have their own start-up business in Hamilton.
“As both employment opportunities in the city and awareness of these opportunities from students through programs like the Hamilton Employment Crawl and the Career Fair, both hosted by the [Student Success Centre], continue to rise, I believe that students will have more of a reason to live and work in Hamilton after graduation,” said D’Souza.
A recent 2017 BMO Regional Market report done showed that the employment rate in Hamilton is up 12.5 per cent and that the unemployment rate is 4.2 per cent, the lowest in Canada outside of Quebec City and putting Hamilton in the top 10 for city labour market performance ranking in Canada.
The job growth in Hamilton has increased astoundingly and that has definitely helped with the grad retention problem that Hamilton faced. Now that there are more employment op-portunities, students have a higher chance of finding jobs that are affiliated with their desired profession therefore making it more intriguing for them to want to stay in Hamilton.
“Hamilton is a fantastic city with an incredibly supportive community and a strong young professional network. I would love to stay in Hamilton if I can find an opportunity that will both challenge me and provide the opportunity for me to grow after I complete my term in April,” said D’Souza.
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I don’t know what I’m doing for Halloween. I don’t know what the weekend will consist of, what life after my next midterm will be like or what’s for breakfast tomorrow morning.
“I’m keeping my options open,” was usually my response whenever someone asked about my plans for life after McMaster. While this is true enough, it was a cop-out answer that really meant short-term goals, school or work related, were taking priority over the intimidating reality of how I want to define myself after university. It’s difficult to think about a year or more in advance when your day-to-day challenges are current and more obvious.
It’s too easy to get caught up in the present. If it weren’t for the pestering of nearly everyone I knew and a coincidental Avenue notification in one of my classes detailing an upcoming grad school information session, it is very unlikely that the idea of preparing for post-McMaster would have occurred to me.
While McMaster has a substantial amount of resources related to preparing students for the inevitable, the worry is simply that the university doesn’t do a good enough job promoting these.
On Oct. 18, 19 and 20, there is a “Continuing Education Fair” in the MUSC Marketplace. Between Oct. 11 and Oct. 17, a total of eight posts were made between the Facebook and Twitter accounts of the McMaster Student Success Centre about the event. It doesn’t show up on any of the main McMaster University social media accounts, and it doesn’t show up on any of the events calendars on the McMaster Daily News, the McMaster Alumni website or the McMaster site.
The chances of you finding out about the event were about the likelihood you happened to follow one specific subset of McMaster related content and were coincidentally one of the impressions. Why should you care about the event when McMaster barely seems to?
With over 70 post-graduate representatives showing up, you would think there would be more of an effort to ensure current students know what’s happening. While the MUSC Marketplace has heavy traffic, it does not account for students who may not have classes close by enough to stumble on the event. It certainly doesn’t help that workshops at the fair require registration on OSCARplus too, so a student finding out about it last minute may not be able to participate.
Maybe there’s an overreliance on hoping the initial “apply for graduation” option on Mosaic suddenly sparking motivation. The logic that post-university is inevitable and thus should be considered is fine on paper, but often fails when life right now is so prominent. I’m simply not sure if the university assumes students will find out about events through their own means and drive, or if they don’t actually care about pushing the community towards becoming productive alumni.
It is disheartening to see constant news about McMaster alumni and their successes, but so little about how to actually achieve similar success. The most tragic part is I have absolutely no idea what other events or resources I have missed as a graduating student because I wasn’t in the know, didn’t follow the right niche on social media or didn’t see a poster in a hallway I’ve never gone down.
While the university has prepared me for the future education-wise, I feel like the university has let me down when considering the lack of importance placed on how to actually use this education. All it would take are a couple more reminders about what McMaster is already providing to its students.
For the first time in a long time, there’s a lot of interest in higher-level University elections. Five candidates are competing to be your next University Planning Committee undergraduate representative. I find this really exciting. And so should you.
The role of the University Planning Committee in greater University governance is a critical one — but often unknown or underrated by students who are exclusively caught up in McMaster Students Union politics.
What is perhaps unknown to such students is that major academic and financial issues that MSU representatives promise to attend to are all under the ultimate jurisdiction of larger governing bodies. Decisions relating to tuition, academic programs, budgeting, etc. all must be approved by the Senate, the Board of Governers, the University Planning Committee, or all three.
True to its name, the University Planning Committee deals primarily with academic planning and the management of University resources. It also acts as an advisory board to the senior administration of the University.
UPC is a joint committee of the Senate and BoG and is unique to McMaster; other schools with the bicameral system that Mac has do not have the equivalent of UPC.
With such significant issues on the table — and a hefty budget along with it — the one seat that undergraduate students (full-time, part-time and continuing students) are allotted should be filled by the right person.
Undergrads should take the time to inform themselves, and vote accordingly.
Jordan Cole
Honours CMST & Multimedia, and
Political Science, Level II
Why should students care about UPC elections?
I feel students should always be interested in the future of education, and that is what the UPC is. The student voice is what will help shape not only the experiences of future generations, but the school’s atmosphere itself.
Why are you running for UPC Undergrad rep?
I am running for UPC undergrad rep because I have had multiple experiences to not only share the student voice, but to stand up and protect it from interests that do not have it in mind. I want our future to be secured and protected by one of us.
Why are you the best person for the job?
I am the best person for this job for one reason: interest. Without an interest in future university planning we will not have the same environment within our school that we are used to, interest is what drives passion, and that is what I will bring to this position.
Gabriel Cicchi
Honours Commerce
Level IV
Why should students care about UPC elections?
The UPC elections are vital to McMaster students as the committee discusses specific aspects of student life (academics and their allocated resources).
Why are you running for UPC Undergrad rep?
As I enter my fourth year at McMaster, the education I have experienced has given me a clear understanding of what needs to continue, start, and stop happening.
Why are you the best person for the job?
I am a multifaceted student who’s passion, motivation, and achievement oriented persona makes me an ideal candidate for this position.
Chantal Labonté
Honours Psychology, Neuroscience and Behaviour, Level IV
Why should students care about UPC elections?
These elections allow undergraduate students to have a voice in all the planning that the university undergoes, this directly affects their education and experience at McMaster.
Why are you running for UPC Undergrad rep?
The McMaster community has given me so much in my time here, I want to give back and make the experience better for my peers and future students.
Why are you the best person for the job?
As a fourth year student, I have been involved in a variety of things on campus (academic, clubs, faculty societies, residence), these well-rounded experiences will allow me to effectively represent a large amount of students on a variety of important topics.
Rahi Turab
Life Sciences
Level I
Why should students care about UPC elections?
Students should care about UPC elections because the entire undergraduate class only gets one representative to be their voice in the UPC, which makes it even more of a shame when so few people actually vote.
Why are you running for UPC Undergrad rep?
I am running for UPC undergrad rep because I saw the call for candidates in the Silhouette and realized that if no one else was going to run, as an able first year, I have a responsibility to try and represent my undergraduate class.
Why are you the best person for the job?
I believe I am the best person for the job because I have experience working in many clubs and committees along with an interest in how planning and administration works for the students at McMaster.
Ken Seville
Social Sciences
Continuing Education
Why should students care about UPC elections?
UPC decisions affect all aspects of your university experience. As a joint committee of Senate (academic) and the Board of Governors (financial), the UPC is the senior planning body of the university and is responsible for ensuring that academic and financial planning are congruent when recommending McMaster’s nearly $1 billion annual budget.
Why are you running for UPC Undergrad rep?
I have prior experience as an elected representative on both the SRA and MAPS and wish to step up to university wide representation.
Why are you the best person for the job?
The task of representing the diverse interests of all undergrads is too big for one person. To overcome this problem I have developed a web based technology called Democravise, that facilitates university wide consultation with all undergraduate stakeholder groups, including the MSU, SOCS, and MAPS. This unique technology was developed at Mac and ensures all critical questions are asked before decisions are made.
