Before signing your lease, make sure to read the fine print on the people you may be living with
Aside from obtaining a higher education through post-secondary institutions, university can be considered to be a time when students gain their independence - especially if they were to move out of their childhood home.
The adult responsibilities of grocery shopping and doing your own laundry finally begin, and we aren't able to rely on our parents anymore. Moving away from home also creates opportunities for character-building as students may need to live with a variety of individuals who may be unfamiliar to them.
With many student leases coming to an end and house-hunting season in full swing, it's no surprise that many of us may be reflecting on our prior housemate experience.
Whether it's your first time house-hunting as a student or your last, it's important to know that the people you will be sharing a home with have the power to make you feel part of a second family, or despise every moment of your academic year.
Don't get me wrong, not all housemates make there are always positive moments with housemates that can overshadow the annoyance you experience. Yes, you may fight about them always stealing your food, even when you write your name on the container. However, at the end of the day, when they need advice, you're always more than happy to talk with them about whatever troubles you.
I would say these are the best kinds of housemates. Although you may have to remind each other to take your laundry out of the dryer machine because it's been sitting there for a few days, they are motivational and comforting. These types of housemates make you miss home a little less.
On the other hand, we have the housemates that make you regret moving to a post-secondary institution so far from home.
Although no one intends to be an unfavourable housemate, we don't always get along with everyone we meet.
At such a diverse university, it's no surprise that our housemates were raised differently from us.
However, this often leads to conflict within the house. Someone may have to pick up the slack or provide constant reminders for everyone to pull their weight within their house. There may be an unfair division of household chores or overall your personalities don't match causing other lifestyle conflicts.
It's not favourable to live with people who you cannot agree with on simple things such as buying house supplies or are inconsiderate of your preferences like being excessively loud or passive-aggressive in the house group chat.
Elements such as these can break your university experience because you become miserable within a space where you are spending the majority of your time. The energy should be welcoming. You shouldn't be mentally exhausted anytime you think of heading back to your room. By experiencing these negative feelings, we begin to associate school with the unpleasant situations we constantly experience with our housemates.
Overall, we either get really lucky when gambling for housemates or we get placed into situations that make us regret moving out of our childhood homes.
Although I don't think there's a way we can avoid this completely, there are some preventative measures we can take to avoid this even before the lease is signed.
For example, creating a group of people to rent an entire house with you rather than looking to rent a room for yourself alone ensures that you personally know your future housemates. This can help avoid conflict as you may have better insight into their personality, lifestyle and their living preferences. If this doesn't work for you, you could also look for parts of houses to rent like the basement where you would only need to convince one other friend to move in with you.
It is very important to know who you are living with before you sign the lease.
In the event that you are living with random people, set house rules that accommodate everyone's lifestyle in some capacity and remember to hold mutual respect. At the end of the day, you are tied together by a lease. If this still doesn't work, find some trusted friends to laugh about these issues with and think about seeking other alternative living solutions next year.
By: Jennifer La Grassa
“You’re living with five other girls?! And you only have two bathrooms? Good luck with that.”
“Just make sure nobody brings candles and lights them, that’s the last thing you need to worry about.”
“Oh man, six girls? Can you imagine when all of your menstrual cycles sync and PMS hits at the same time?”
Upon entering my second year of university, whenever I mentioned that I would be living with five friends in an off-campus house, I usually received one of the above responses or a variation of all three.
Fortunately, it went a lot better than everyone expected. We lived in harmony, didn’t set the house on fire and continue to be friends to this day. I am by no means a student-house-living-guru, but I hope to provide you with some advice that will ease the initial struggles you may encounter.
Upon first moving in, you and your housemates should have a “house meeting.” Even if you lived with the same people the previous year, it’s always good to start fresh and remind everyone of the rules that were put into place, as well as those that need amendment. For you student house virgins, a house meeting will help you organize and plan for the year ahead.
One of the main topics of your discussion should be how and when the house will be cleaned. I suggest making a schedule that rotates weekly and putting it up on the fridge; this allows everyone to have a clear outline of their duties and not get stuck with the same task each week.
I can’t stress enough how important it is to keep your house clean, if not for your own comfort then for the peace of mind that you won’t be having any other housemates moving in (ones that may be small, furry and not much help in paying rent). As well, if you are planning to make household items—eg, paper towels, dish soap, dish sponges—communal, discuss the purchase of these items.
Other topics of discussion should include cleaning up after oneself (specifically not letting dishes pile up), having friends over, playing music, and sharing food. Each of these topics doesn’t need a strict rule, but you should make sure that you’re all on the same page about how they should be dealt with.
Should conflict arise, promoting communication and calling a house meeting is the best solution. If something isn’t working for you, don’t allow your frustration to build up to the point where you’re leaving passive aggressive notes around the house.
The best way to deal with a difference of ideas is to be upfront and tell your housemates what needs to be changed. If you’re not one for confrontation, then make sure to create a Facebook group to politely mention your concerns.
A Facebook group or group chat of some sort will come in handy when discussing any and all household matters, especially for times when you are too busy to gather for a house meeting.
Remember, everyone has their quirks and the stress of university life can make anyone irritable, so try to be understanding and accommodate the needs of others. Once the technicalities of living together have been put aside, my best piece of advice is to go with the flow and enjoy the experience.
After a long day of classes, coming home to have five of my best friends eager to hear about my day was the most rewarding part of it all. My housemates became my family, and I truly hope yours do too.
By: Daniella Porano, Emma Little, and Hayley Regis
The Parent
The mom or dad of the house knows how to do everything – cook, clean, and fix things. They text you to as when you’re coming home and make sure you’re okay when they haven’t seen you all day. Checking to make sure you ate, and if you did, making sure it was a balanced diet. This roommate will make a comment if you eat dessert first or if you only eat bagels.
When you’re frustrated and can’t find something, they find it within seconds. When you break something, they can fix it. They remind you to clean, do your chores, your homework, and to study. If you’re going out, the parents likely make sure you get home safely. They seem like the perfect person, and leave you wondering how they have mastered all of these skills, and kept up on all the cooking and cleaning with a busy university schedule. You appreciate that they care, but you also wish that sometimes they would just leave you alone.
The Is-This-Really-A-Kitchen-Or-A-Junkyard-Roommate?
It’s Saturday morning and I’ve come downstairs to make myself breakfast. There’s an inch of mold in my mug, vomit in the kitchen sink, and disgusting Tally-Ho’s remnants in takeout containers strewn across the kitchen table. The garbage bag on the floor is emanating a revolting smell and leaking a mysterious brown liquid on the tiles. Dry heaving and ordering takeout becomes my Saturday morning routine.
This roommate is the dirtiest person you have ever met. You don’t understand how any one person could be this disgusting, until you see their mom come and clean their room one Sunday afternoon. Because you share a kitchen, and sometimes a bathroom with them, you feel like you’re living in a private hell of toxic filth. There is no amount of angry Facebook rants in your house group or passive-aggressive post it notes that will end this madness. Moving out is your only real option.
Meat head
Hey buddy, I know it was you. Nobody else plays enough WoW to use an additional 300GB of internet. Also, I get that you go to the gym and you “gotta get dem gainz” but I don’t understand why that means you dirty every pot, pan, and plate in our house every week. Is it some ritual I don’t understand? If so, I apologize, but I also don’t care, I just want to make some mophuqqin’ KD without having to salvage clean dishes from the mountain of filth you create. Also aren’t you in your mid-20s? Probably stop using Axe, that’s not a thing.
“I’m in a band”
We get it, you’re in a band. But the women you bring home in the night aren’t groupies; I’m 95 percent sure you pay them (which is no big deal, sex work is fine) but I’m not super fond of how often you steal my laundry detergent to do your sweaty sex sheets. Please pay your bills, like it’s been months and I don’t really want to pay for all your shower sex (P.S. it’s not conserving water if you do it like thrice a day).
Are you even in a band? I’ve only ever heard you play the same chord over and over and only at 2 a.m. Why must you smoke indoors? Blowing pot smoke into the vent seems like a good idea until the rest of us get confusing contact highs and try to figure out why we’ve eaten all our chips at 3 p.m. on a Thursday. Just graduate already.
By: Yashoda Valliere
Living with roommates has become a staple experience at McMaster - there are 3700 spots in residence, the vast majority of which are in double rooms - and many off-campus students share housing in order to reduce costs. Whether in res or off campus, you’ll likely be sharing your space with at least one fellow student during your years at Mac. Living with roommates can be one of the most gratifying experiences of university – although sometimes they make you want to tear your hair out. However, by learning to compromise and solve problems with a complete stranger, you’re likely to grow as a person and you may end up gaining a lifelong friend. Here are a few tips for surviving (and enjoying) the experience:
Be clear about your expectations from the beginning – things you’re looking forward to this year, things you’re nervous about, things that really irk you, and any other info that can help you understand each other better. You might find that you have more in common than you thought (you both want to join the McMaster Quidditch Team – let’s say), but it’s also good to know your roomie’s pet peeves in advance so you don’t constantly annoy them without realizing.
Respect your roommate’s space. Believe it or not, it is actually okay to not be BFFs – and even if you are, everyone needs alone time, at least on occasion. As long as you treat each other with mutual respect and agree on basic responsibilities such as cleaning and quiet times, feel free to do your own thing.
Don’t take, touch, use or borrow anything without asking. This may seem ridiculously obvious, but you would be surprised how many people think “she won’t mind if I use her $60 shampoo” or “he won’t miss just one yogurt cup from his 8-pack”. Trust me. They will.
Take turns and compromise. When the two of you want to use your space for different things such as sleep vs. having friends over, consider which activities really require the use of the room – you can study, party, talk on the phone and eat outside your bedroom, whereas sleep and sex take precedence! If your roomie’s got a brutal cold and really needs to rest, consider moving your One Direction dance party to the common room.
When it comes to having friends over to prep for midterms in the upcoming weeks, a few alternative meeting places include your residence common room, Bridges Café, and the libraries. You can book private study rooms at the library up to two weeks in advance, or even book a meeting room in MUSC online. Lesser known haunts include empty lecture halls and tutorial rooms in the Arts Quad basement (CNH, TSH and KTH) and the McMaster Children’s Hospital. Of course, you don’t have to use these rooms to study for exams – it could be to rehearse presentations, work on group projects, meet with clubs, or whenever you just need some quiet space.
Be flexible… after all, you came to university to step outside of your comfort zone and open your mind to new ideas! Living with another person means give and take, and 50% of the time the person giving has got to be you.
But at the same time, don’t be afraid to stand up on important issues. Don’t compromise on the fundamentals like your quality of sleep – these can seriously affect your physical and mental health as well as your grades! If you’re feeling worn out or depressed during the year, keep in mind the multitude of resources available to McMaster students – the fees are already covered by your health insurance plan or the MSU. Drop into the Student Health Education Centre (SHEC) for peer counseling with a fellow student, or make an appointment with a health professional at the Student Wellness Centre.
Use the supports in place. Take the roommate contract seriously – it could help you out later in the year if your roommate isn’t following through with what you had agreed upon. On a similar note, make good use of your C.A. (it’s what they’re being paid for)! These live-in staff members just down the hall are trained to efficiently resolve roommate conflicts every year. If for any reason your C.A. is unhelpful or unable to resolve your problem, don’t be afraid to reach out to other C.A.’s in your building, or even the Residence Manager.
If all else fails, just follow the Golden Rule. Things aren’t going to be perfect, but with an open mind, clear communication and perhaps a pair of earplugs, you’ll be ready for any adventure.
Dear Roommate,
I had a hypothesis about what living with you would be like, and it has been proven to be terribly wrong. This hypothesis was that we would exist in both peace and relative cleanliness, with friendship being a possible, but not necessary condition for a good roommate relationship. I based this hypothesis on the assumption that you would be a reasonable human being, possessing some intelligence and a modicum of common sense. This assumption was quite clearly flawed.
I’m certain that I’ve asked you (repeatedly) to not spray perfume in our room, but somehow that piece of information has yet to make it into your brain. If you want everyone within five feet of you to smell like your nasty body spray, that’s fine, but I have no desire to smell like moldy beetroot. I really don’t.
And speaking of mold, that blue stuff growing on your loaf of bread is not edible. I don’t care that you think it’s pretty- it has to go. So does the banana peel you’re saving under your bed for some indeterminate prank. Real life is not like Mario Kart: people do not step on banana peels and fall on their faces. They throw them out.
I thought that this sort of thing was common knowledge. There are days when I wonder what exactly happens in the space between your ears, because frankly, it can’t be much. Remembering to take your keys with you is not a complicated thought process, it’s at about the same level as remembering your phone, and you seem to manage that just fine. If you call me at 3:00am one more time because you’ve locked yourself out again, I think that my brain might melt and pour out of my ears. I am your roommate, not your key lackey. I am also not your study-buddy. We are not in the same program. We’re not even in the same faculty. I can’t help you with your Biology assignment, I don’t know the answers to your Psych quiz and I don’t know where your Calculus class is. The fact that, by this point, you don’t know where to find your Calculus class is, frankly, worrying.
I’ve often wondered if you even go to class because your schedule is posted on the wall and you have just as many class hours as I do, but I never seem to have the room to myself during the day. You’re always there, either sleeping, or eating, or laughing at that inane soap opera you download illegally every week. A little bit of daylight wouldn’t kill you, and it would save me from seeing the horror of your uneven spray-tan. I guess I can’t dictate how much time you do or don’t spend in our room and whether or not you flunk out of your classes is up to you, but that’s not going to stop me from wishing you’d leave for reasons other than partying and the occasional snack run.
I’m sorry that we don’t get along better than this. It’s going to be a long eight months, co-existing with someone who is semi-nocturnal and has questionable cleanliness standards. But, I’m going to make the best of it. You can count on that. I’m armed with noise-canceling headphones, rubber gloves and a jumbo-pack of sanitizing wipes. There will be no bacteria breeding on my side of the room.
And if your body spray mysteriously disappears, then I can’t promise that I didn’t have something to do with it.
Sincerely,
Your Roommate
