How large goals can actually do more harm by putting you one step forward and two steps back

I always look forward to January. I love the New Years and how it is a time of year where goal setting is prioritized.  

But year after year, I’ve found myself either not committing fully to the goals I had set or not completing as many of the goals as I had wanted too.  

During the peak of COVID, specifically during the new year of 2020, the act of creating a vision board gave me a chance to shed light on the year ahead in a new way. 

Creating a vision board entails creating a collage with pictures, quotes and words that you would hope to make up the following year. It’s a simplistic and great way to reuse waste as well in the house. 

As a student, it can become immensely difficult to set and stick to these goals, as one is at the point in their life where they are prioritizing their academics rather than dreams and desires. 

One of my New Year's resolutions was to bake more. Unfortunately, I did not get to bake as much as I wanted to, as I found myself preoccupied by my academics and work. Many individuals often do the same, finding themselves with their hands full, which cuts back on many goals one could be achieving.  

The difficulty of this task depends upon the relationship someone has to it. The same goal can be easy for one person and even more challenging for another, so it’s all relative; which is something our society does not even take into consideration with the commotion that is New Years.

The difficulty of this task depends upon the relationship someone has to it. The same goal can be easy for one person and even more challenging for another, so it’s all relative; which is something our society does not even take into consideration with the commotion that is New Years.

Something that is very crucial, which many individuals do not consider, is their lifestyle and who they are as a person. Every individual is unique; thus, every individual is driven and motivated in different ways from different things. Although one may assume they are setting a goal for themselves, a common mistake made is that the goal is either not as specific as it should be or too general. 

Every individual is unique; thus, every individual is driven and motivated in different ways from different things. Although one may assume they are setting a goal for themselves, a common mistake made is that the goal is either not as specific as it should be or too general.

Setting a goal such as baking more is a great goal, but it is too broad for someone to stick to it. Creating some sort of consistency with it allows you to be able to track it and setting small, reasonable goals for you can drastically aid in achieving the goals you wish to. 

Instead, set goals for how many times a week or month you would want to do this act and then you can get more detailed with your goals. Again, mine with baking: my goal can be to cook a dessert at least two times a month, then after some consistency, I can change my goal to not make the same recipe more than once or try a new ingredient each time I bake. 

Therefore, giving yourself more personalized goals that fit your lifestyle as well as your needs will aid you to achieve them. Making sure that those goals are thought-out and detailed will also help you build consistency around them. 

Although it may seem obvious, we tend to move with everyone else almost all the time. Vision boards allow us an opportunity to reflect on what’s important to us and it is important when we are doing activities for our own well-being that we are genuinely keeping ourselves in mind and no one else.  

Changing our approach to these goals can help us be more successful at New Year’s resolutions

With a new year comes a set of new and often entirely unrealistic expectations we set for ourselves: New Year’s resolutions. Approximately three-quarters of Canadians resolve to accomplish their goals at the beginning of each year, with the failure rate a dismal 80 per cent. 

Year after year, people around the world look to the changing of the calendar as a sign of hopeful, positive transformation for their lifestyles and circumstances. How did such seemingly useless and quite frankly disappointing, ritualistic behaviour become entrenched in our daily lives? How can we make resolutions that actually work?

Apparently, human beings have practiced this particular brand of masochism since nearly the dawn of civilization. 4,000 years ago, the ancient Babylonians would make promises to the gods to repay debts and favours during their mid-March New Year’s celebration, Akitu. Keeping these promises would guarantee good luck and health while breaking them was sure to invite divine displeasure. If only we had such incentives today!

How did such seemingly useless and quite frankly disappointing, ritualistic behaviour become entrenched in our daily lives? How can we make resolutions that actually work?

Similarly, though a couple of millennia later, ancient Romans offered sacrifices and promises of virtuous conduct to the god, Janus — January’s namesake — in exchange for good fortune in the upcoming year. The practice continued with “peacock vows” in the middle ages, which were resolutions made by knights to uphold their chivalric values. By the 17th century, the habit of annual resolution-making had permeated the common social consciousness and was declared by yearly rituals such as New Year’s Eve spiritual services.

Despite their early religious origins, today’s practice of New Year’s resolution-making is a mostly secular and individualistic activity — concerned more with our ability to commit and achieve rather than chance or divine intervention.

The most common resolutions are decidedly unsurprising: in 2020, 51 per cent of Canadians wanted to exercise more, 49 per cent planned to save money, 48 per cent strived to eat healthier and 42 per cent hoped to lose weight. These goals have been topping lists for at least the last decade and their resilience speaks not only to our recidivism but also to the very nature of our desires themselves.

Making a resolution is important for mental health: having a goal to strive for helps overcome daily fatigue and is motivational. However, failing to live up to your goals — New Year’s or otherwise — can invite self-deprecation and psychological stress.

You can fall short of achieving your resolutions for any number of reasons beyond lack of sufficient commitment. The four main reasons why New Year’s resolutions fail are that they are too vague, they are framed negatively, they reflect societal expectations rather than your own desires or they are incompatible with your routine or lifestyle.

Since 2016, I’ve kept aside all my New Year’s resolutions lists and they are the spitting image of vagueness, negativity, social pressures and impracticality. From a whopping 37 resolutions in 2017 to assertions I would maintain a 12.0 GPA, to plans of learning four different languages in the span of a year, it’s no wonder I have persistently failed to achieve my goals — and thus felt thoroughly dejected every time.

But I haven’t given up just yet. Achieving your New Year’s resolutions is about more than just unwavering commitment, it’s about proper goal setting; a skill whose benefits extend beyond our infamous Dec. 31/Jan. 1 ritual.

The best resolutions are specific: they elaborate on the steps one needs to take to succeed. Unbeknownst to my 2019 self, I wouldn’t suddenly develop the ability to speak fluent Russian when the clock struck midnight. So unfair, am I right?

The best resolutions are specific: they elaborate on the steps one needs to take to succeed. Unbeknownst to my 2019 self, I wouldn’t suddenly develop the ability to speak fluent Russian when the clock struck midnight. So unfair, am I right?

Furthermore, New Year’s resolutions need to be realistic. No, 2018-self, you won’t be able to exercise four hours a day. It’s just not possible. Don’t set yourself up for failure — create ambitious but achievable goals that will make you feel successful while still making a difference in your life.

Lastly, making a good resolution is all about self-awareness. Achieving any long-term goal is directly concerned with the process of habit-forming. Creating a habit requires repetition — anywhere from 18 to 254 days of it, to be exact — and engenders a feeling of “automaticity,” which is the feeling of ease experienced when doing a familiar task.

When behaviours become automatic, they will become routine, undisruptive and habitual. However, forming a good habit requires the self-awareness to notice the environmental cues that facilitate the accompanying bad habit. If a certain place, activity, person or time prompts you to engage in the habit you want to break, recognize the signs and distance yourself or actively work to stay on track. Remember, it’s a process.

Though I haven’t managed to eliminate all traces of wishful thinking from my 2021 resolutions list, I’ve tried to introduce a bit more realism — a half marathon instead of a full marathon sounds about right, don’t you think? In truth, though, our goals matter less than our ability to forgive ourselves for not achieving them. It’s wonderful to aim for self-improvement; just don’t self-destruct along the way. Happy 2021!

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By: Takhliq Amir

With a New Year comes a new beginning, new opportunities, and the traditional New Year resolution. For many of us, the start of 2016 brought about a chance to once again bring out those handy notebooks, uncap the new ink pen, and begin creating a list of everything to achieve in the new year. We sat there, a giddy feeling coursing through us, as we pondered on the aspirations of this year and all the things we could possibly accomplish.

Every year in my life that passes, however, brings about rising doubts regarding the value of these resolutions. A small number of people actually fulfill their resolutions despite many with good intentions. Listening to the radio I heard a host comment, mocking those who attempt resolutions, and how no one can ever actually be expected to carry them out. Even my chemistry professor joked about the fleetingness of these promises. And yet we seem to have forgotten that that is what they are: promises.

Regardless of whether or not New Year’s resolutions are something to be adopted, they should be considered as promises to oneself. A New Year’s resolution might be overly ambitious, but it is also a challenge and a promise to yourself to work towards achieving a goal. It is a test of your own capabilities and a push at your personal conviction.

As humans, we are programmed to make excuses for our actions and behaviours that might, and are probably, a shortcoming. Nobody likes to admit failure, after all. As well, New Year’s resolutions, as a start to the year, give us something exciting, something exhilarating to look forward to. Imagine if, by the end of the year, I visit all 25 countries on my list! But they can also set us up for failure. And sometimes, while writing the resolutions might have been an invigorating experience, the failure of not achieving something produces a greater disappointment.

Every year in my life that passes, however, brings about rising doubts regarding the value of these resolutions.

I want to ask you then to not make New Year’s resolutions if you are not serious about them. There is intense satisfaction in fulfilling a resolution, which is easily spoiled by the carelessness with which they are perceived and pursued. New Year’s resolutions have become merely a symbol that welcomes in the year, a tradition that has been carried on from past generations and will likely be passed on to the next. Instead, think about the things you’d like to achieve today, tomorrow, even in the next week or month. But don’t lose sight of the end goal. These resolutions are worth as much as the fulfilling sense of accomplishment that achieving them evokes. So be ambitious and be daring, but also keep the promises that you make to yourself.

Photo Credit: Jon White/Photo Editor

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Sarah O’ Connor / Silhouette Staff

Promises upon promises upon promises. “My New Year’s Resolution is to lose weight.” “My New Year’s Resolution is to ask out my crush.” “My New Year’s Resolution is to be a better person.”

It happens every year when that silver ball drops at midnight. Every year when lovers kiss for luck and the single cheer that vows this will be their year. Every person makes a resolution, planning on how to make this year the best year yet. But will it be the best? I’ve never been in the habit of making resolutions. From my foggy childhood memory, I remember being asked what my resolution would be for the coming year.

I shrugged my shoulders, unsure how to reply. How can you plan to change something in one year? I suppose it depends on the weight of the resolution. If it’s something small like losing weight, that is possible.A person can lose a significant amount of weight in a year, if they actually put the effort into losing weight.

If it’s something like asking out a crush it is also possible, but harder. It shouldn’t be so difficult to ask someone out, but it is when all a person can think about is looking like a fool, their stomach fluttering with nerves, anxiety pulsing through every fiber of their body. Asking that special someone if they “want to go on a date” would make walking into a volcano look fun.

And when someone says they’ll be a better person, that’s nearly impossible. How can someone change who he or she is in one year when they have been themselves for X number of years?

The truth is, every time someone makes a New Year’s Resolution, there’s a part of them that knows they don’t have to keep it.

I always feel that New Year’s Resolutions set us up for failure. Too many people use the easy cop-out that “there’s always next year.” And there is always next year until one year you’re old and wrinkled. This might be it.

Why don’t we look to New Year’s Resolutions as goals? True, they’re both basically the same thing, but goals set us up for success. Goals are attainable. We work hard to achieve our goals, but we push off resolutions. With goals, people are allowed to go at there own pace. With resolutions, we only have 365 days.

Amanda Teseo 

Silhouette Staff

 

As we chime in the beginning of 2012 and wait for the plaguing aftermath of new years to subside, we find ourselves looking forward to a fresh start in a novel year.  Popular culture has instilled the idea of vowing to uphold a “New Years Resolution” with the beginning of each year.

For this reason, the start of January marks the commencement of dietary regimens, the creation of personal promises, and the onset of a skyrocketing increase in purchased gym memberships.

The custom of creating New Years Resolutions dates back to as early as 62 BC, during the time of Julius Caesar in Rome.  Resolutions were mostly made with moral intentions of being good to others.

Later on, in the 17th century, the Puritans began each New Year by reflecting on the past year and contemplating the future year.

Through this practice, our modern understanding of New Years Resolutions has evolved. In contrast to the Romans, the Puritans focused on forming resolutions to better themselves, develop their talents, and practice avoidance of habitual sins.

Today, people form a multitude of different resolutions with various degrees of commitment and strategies for success.  Dr. Jill RachBeisel, M.D. and Dr. Hinda Dubin, M.D. study the psychology of resolution creation at the University of Maryland Medical Center. They report that the most effective way to successfully uphold a resolution for at least 365 days is to “prepare yourself psychologically.”

“Focus on realistic goals with measurable results,” says Dr. Jill RachBeisel. “You need to break things down into small steps that you can manage. If your goal is too big, you’ll feel defeated before you even get started.”

For example, instead of setting a goal that you want to develop a body like Ryan Gosling, start with a more specific, measurable and realistic goal like gaining two pounds of muscle.

Start from there and then slowly increase the amount of muscle you want to gain.  In this way, you will maintain motivation and track your progress.

Another popular mistake associated with resolution maintenance is “psyching yourself out.”  After the initial spark of hope subsides, reality begins to weigh heavily on your shoulders as you realize that the accomplishment of your goals requires discipline and hard work.  A simple and effective solution to such a slump is to start immediately.

“Action precedes motivation, not the other way around,” says Dr. Hinda Dubin. “People often think that they should wait until they are motivated to start doing something good for themselves. They say, ‘I’ll start that diet or fitness program when I’m really well rested and have a lot of energy’. But it doesn’t work that way.”

Make an action towards your goal first and then inspiration will follow.  The initial action acts as momentum to propel you towards your goal.  The old saying of “the first step is the hardest” holds true psychologically.

To prepare for a year of success, the University of Maryland proposes a series of tips to help you maintain your resolutions:

 

1. Avoid perfectionism: You may set out to get all 12’s this term, but you also might be setting yourself up for disappointment. Try focusing less on a particular grade point average and more on improvement, like bettering your study habits.

 

2. Don’t stress too much about any setbacks you may encounter: They are lessons to be learned and opportunities for growth.  Use any mistakes you make as methods of improving your strategies for success.

 

3. Avoid absolute resolutions: For example, instead of vowing to steer completely clear of junk food, promise to eat less of it.

 

4. Find ways to keep motivated: Keeping on track towards your NewYears goals can be difficult so make sure to construct a way that will help you succeed.

 

5. Have fun: Trying to fulfull a newyears resolution is difficult so make sure to keep a light and up-beat attitude about your goals.

 

5.  Make sure your resolutions are meaningful to you:  This might be the most important tip to follow.  Your resolution should be something you want to change instead of what other people or influences in your life want to change.  Internalize your goals and insure that they make sense to you.

Overall, the idea that a new year constitutes a fresh start has been around for centuries. The only difference is that today we have a multitude of resources at our fingertips to help us experience success in upholding our resolutions.  Why not make 2012 a year of success?

 

 

 

 

The start of 2018 brings mixed feelings in regards to starting off the year on the right foot and beginning a new semester. Resolutions, and talks of “bettering” ourselves can be helpful for motivation, but sometimes they bring a daunting perspective to the new year. Here are some reasonable, but helpful, resolutions and motivations that you can make for 2018, without getting too stressed out.

Go to a class. If we’re being quite honest, there’s a lot of students who don’t end up going to classes. Whether it be mental wellness reasons, extracurriculars or sleeping in, it can be quite easy just to stay at home instead of making the trek to school in the snow. Try making it to at least one class this week.

 

Give yourself a bedtime. Friends, partying or even Netflix binges can have students messing up their sleep schedules. And while staying up until 4 am finishing up the latest season of Black Mirror can be fun, rest is incredibly important for mental well-being and for learning. Give yourself a time you want to be under the covers and make sure you get a healthy 8 hours sleep.

 

Put down your phone. While mobile phones are the main way we communicate with people now, they can become distracting when you’re trying to hang out with friends and family in real life. On your next trip to Snooty’s with the lads, or during a wine and movie night, turn off your device and enjoy the moment.

 

Drink more water. If you’re reading this, without a doubt you know about the ~magical properties~ of water. As humans are made out of 60% of water, it’s vital to our lives: it makes our skin better, it helps with headaches, and it flushes out waste and bacteria. Set a daily alarm to make sure you get at least one big bottle of water in a day (the ideal amount is 2L though)!

 

Eat. As a university student, ye old “three balanced nutritional meals a day” seems like something from a different universe. With school, jobs and other commitments busting up our schedule, eating out and eating less can easily become the alternative. Drag yourself to your nearest grocery store to stock up on nutrients for the week.

This list may seem simple, but it’s important to re-center ourselves and get back into positive routines! Happy 2018 y’all!