Loneliness in residence is the quiet reality for many students, but with just a little effort we can turn residence into a warm community
By: Dawn McKee, Opinion Contributor
Moving into residence at McMaster is like stepping into a whole new world. After years of high school where we had our routines, our circles and our comfort zones, the jump to university is a huge change. A lot of us come in expecting a busy social life, imagining new friends and endless hangouts.
But for many, it doesn’t always work out that way. In fact, residence could often feel more isolating than you’d expect.
From what I’ve seen, the social scene in residence isn’t as open as it seems. People tend to stick with their dormmates, or if they’re lucky with friends from high school. While that may work for them, it can leave others, especially those without pre-existing friendships, feeling left out.
From what I’ve seen, the social scene in residence isn’t as open as it seems. People tend to stick with their dormmates, or if they’re lucky with friends from high school.
Breaking into established groups tends to be hard. You might find yourself surrounded by people, yet still feel like an outsider. It’s one of those ironies where you’re in a place packed with students, yet the loneliness hits harder than ever.
And it’s not just a McMaster thing. University life in general has this invisible pressure to find your people right away.
There’s this underlying expectation that your college friends are supposed to be the ones who stick with you for life and if you haven’t found them yet, you’re somehow behind. But the truth is, friendships take time.
Not everyone clicks right away, and that’s completely normal. Yet, when you’re in that space of trying to find your place, it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one going through it. It seems like everyone around you has figured it out. They’ve got their group and their rhythm while you’re still struggling to break into the flow.
In reality, a lot of students feel the same way — they just don’t talk about it.
It’s like there’s a stigma around admitting that you’re lonely or having a tough time connecting. But if we could all be a little more open about the fact that university and residence life might not be what you expected, it would probably help a lot of people feel less isolated. The truth is no one really talks about the moments when you sit in your room wondering why the social scene isn’t coming together like you imagined.
It’s like there’s a stigma around admitting that you’re lonely or having a tough time connecting. But if we could all be a little more open about the fact that university and residence life might not be what you expected, it would probably help a lot of people feel less isolated.
So, what’s the fix?
I think universities in general can do more to help students connect in meaningful ways, not just through big events or loud parties. While those things are fun for some, they don’t always work for everyone.
What about smaller, low-pressure gatherings where you can get to know people? Events that go beyond your dorm floor or existing friend groups. Activities like casual game nights, crafting, or even coffee meet-ups — things where you would show up, be yourself, and talk to people without feeling forced or awkward.
At the same time, we as students can do more too. It’s easy to stick with what’s comfortable, to hang out with the same group every day, but it doesn’t hurt to be a little more open to new people. If you see someone who looks like they would want a friend, why not reach out? A simple “hey, want to join us?” can make a bigger difference than you think. Small gestures like that help break the barrier for someone who’s feeling on the outside.
At the same time, we as students can do more too. It’s easy to stick with what’s comfortable, to hang out with the same group every day, but it doesn’t hurt to be a little more open to new people.
The loneliness in residence is real, but it doesn’t have to be a permanent part of the experience. If we all would make just a little more effort to be inclusive, to step outside of our own comfort zones, residence life would be a lot more welcoming for everyone.
We might not fix everything overnight, but even small changes in how we approach friendships and socializing could start to make things better. At the end of the day, we’re all just trying to find our place. It’s a lot easier when we’re helping each other out along the way.
When determining who gets a spot in residence during your first year of undergrad, your high school grades should not be the deciding factor of your eligibility.
Despite being overjoyed at being accepted to McMaster University in 2021, as someone who does not live within commuting distance from the school, I was also heavily concerned about living in residence during my first year.
While attending one of the onboarding information sessions McMaster offers to its incoming students about living in residence, I learned that I needed to have at least a 90 percent average to secure a spot in residence if I wanted to live on campus.
I learned that I needed to have at least a 90 percent average to secure a spot in residence if I wanted to live on campus.
Although I was fortunate enough to have an average that guaranteed me a spot in residence, I quickly realized that other students were not as fortunate.
McMaster is regarded as a highly competitive university. With limited program choices and spots for high school students to fill, it's no surprise that the incoming student averages are significantly high, though acceptance averages vary across faculties and can lead to certain majors being disproportionately represented within residence.
For example, a potential Health and Society student would need a high school average between the low to high 80s while a Life Sciences student would need a high school average of the high 80s to low 90s to be considered for acceptance.
The discrepancy in high school admission averages alone seems to favour certain types of programs. It is important to note that your program does not place you at a disadvantage for a spot within residency as only your high school average is considered. Yet, it can mislead you if you don’t meet the guaranteed residence cut-off while you meet your program cut-off.
Once students are conditionally accepted into their program, they may want to maintain their current average rather than continuously work to obtain a higher average.
Although there is nothing wrong with this, it may have put you at a disadvantage for residency as your program cut off differs from the residency cut off. This is only one circumstance why an incoming student may not make the residency cut-off.
Many more can be due to extenuating circumstances that a student had no control over such as family and personal challenges, the pandemic, and much more that cannot be explained by a simple average.
Guaranteeing residency based on a student's grade limits student potential.
Rewarding students a spot to live on campus rather than assessing them on a needs basis places students who require a place on residency but who don't meet the cut-off at a large disadvantage.
On average there are around 8,044 first-year students incoming each year. However, there are only 4,186 rooms for these students to fill. This means that about 48 per cent of the first-year population will need to find a place off campus to live or commute. There are simply not enough residence spots to accommodate everyone.
On average there are around 8,044 first-year students incoming each year. However, there are only 4,186 rooms for these students to fill.
Students should be assessed on their urgency for residency rather than it being handed out for doing well in high school as their averages do not tell a complete story of who a student may be. Additionally, many students meet the guaranteed admission but do not need a residence spot and live on campus anyway for the experience.
It may be more time-consuming for the university to read through all of the applications and assess who may deserve a spot in residence. However, this also weeds out the students who are not interested in residency as this process encourages students to reflect if residency is right for them.
The transition between high school and university is difficult as it is. Students who truly need to live in residence should not be placed at a disadvantage because their high school average was below the guaranteed average of 90 percent.
McMaster University should transition from guaranteeing students with a minimum of a 90 per cent average a spot on residence to allotting first-year students residency spots based on needs. This change will benefit incoming students more than the current system and it will truly help those students who need a spot in residence.
Please note: This is a developing story and this article will be updated as more information arises.
McMaster is requiring students to move out of residence by this Saturday at 4 p.m., as the COVID-19 pandemic spreads and calls for social distancing increase across the province.
In a release sent out the morning of March 17, McMaster announced immediate changes to support social distancing within residences. Until the move-out deadline, guests will not be permitted in residences, and common rooms and game rooms will be closed.
In order to appropriately check-out, students must complete a mandatory online residence status update form through the McMaster Housing Portal. The form asks students to select a move-out time between Tuesday, March 17 and Saturday March 21 at 4 p.m.
Before this release, the university suspended all in-person classes and exams on Friday, March 13. Many classes are being moved online, and professors are required to contact students by Wednesday to let them know how their courses will proceed for the remainder of the term.
McMaster’s 12 on-campus residences house almost 3,600 students. It remains to be seen how the university will support students in their transition from residence.
A room in residence costs between $5,800 and $9,000 for a year. The residence contract requires students to move out of residence the day after their last exam, which can be anywhere from April 13 to April 29.
In the March 17 release, McMaster committed to providing “financial consideration for your shortened stay in residence” to students who check out of residence on or before the designated move-out deadline. It is not yet clear what financial consideration entails. According to the frequently asked questions column on the Residence COVID-19 Updates page, the University does not currently have any information regarding refunds for meal, residence, and parking fees. Food plan budgets will, however, carry over into next year. Information is expected to be updated soon.
The university may make exceptions for students who are unable to return home due to travel restrictions, however, students need to submit an application through the McMaster Housing Portal in order to be eligible to remain in residence. According to the release, the only students eligible to remain in residence are international students and out-of-province students who need extra time to move out.
The statement did not make note of students who face additional barriers, which may prevent them from being able to complete the remainder of their academic terms, should they be forced to move out from residence.
Hi Calvin -- students in those circumstances would need to speak with Housing about their specific situation.
— McMaster University (@McMasterU) March 17, 2020
Students may be unable to return to their family homes due to unsafe living situations or unsupportive families. Additionally, students may not have access to wifi and other resources necessary to complete their course work. As the provincial government requires all public libraries in Ontario close under a declaration of emergency, it remains to be seen how the university will support students without access to the resources necessary to engage in online courses.
Update: March 20, 2020: While international students and out-of-province students are pre-approved to stay in residence, students with extenuating circumstances, such as those in unsafe living situations, can apply to extend their stay.
"Students who have extenuating circumstances may request special consideration from the Residence Admissions office to extend their stay. These are approved on a case-by-case basis," wrote Holly Gibson, manager of marketing and communications for housing and conference services, in an emailed statement.
Gibson also confirmed that all food services except for Centro are now closed.
It is yet to be determined whether students who stay in residence will remain in their current rooms.
"Once we determine the number of students who will need to stay on campus, we will make plans with a focus on student safety, social distancing and in alignment with Public Health recommendations," stated Gibson.
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