How the Aphrodite Project and similar projects have changed dating

As the pandemic continues to surge and COVID-19 regulations remain in place, many are finding romance and fun. From dating apps to newly-designed matching algorithms, students are being matched by the thousands from the comfort of their beds. This is especially true when it comes to university students in Canada, including at McMaster

Rates of online dating usage have increased since the beginning of the pandemic. Tinder, Hinge, OKCupid and many other apps have all reported increased use.

However, in addition to a rise in online dating app usage, there have been many innovative projects seeking to help students bound to their homes and laptops find a match. 

Perhaps most notable among these projects is the Aphrodite Project. The Aphrodite Project is an algorithm that matches students based on their responses in a long questionnaire.

The project was designed by two University of Toronto exchange students, with the first trial of the software having been trialled in Singapore in 2019. After it was clear the algorithm was a success and full of promise, it was adapted to Canadian universities, starting with U of T and the University of Waterloo.

The site is now open to students across many universities, including McMaster. For many, this algorithm was a success and a way to find love and happiness amid the pandemic.

Among students who found love through this algorithm last year is Karin Lie, a fourth-year student at the University of Waterloo studying psychology. 

“I was very impressed,” Lie explained. “We did get along very well.”

The first batch of matching in Canada was completed in 2020, with thousands of students being matched prior to Valentine’s Day. The developers of the Aphrodite Project even opened up a special version of their algorithm, Aphrodite Project: Pandemic Edition.

This targeted students amid the onset of the pandemic, which hoped to offer students an opportunity to meet someone and be distracted from the gloomy times of 2020. 

In addition to the Aphrodite Project designed by students at U of T, there are similar projects that have been designed specifically for students at Mac. Among these are Match At Mac, which was run over the summer of 2020 and Mac Aphrodite Project.

These operate similarly to the Aphrodite Project designed at U of T in which Mac students fill out questionnaires and are matched with what is calculated to be the best possible option. Students participating in the Mac Aphrodite Project received their matches on Feb. 13, 2021.

These projects are important this year, as the transition to online learning at universities has presented challenges to many, with fewer opportunities available for socializing and romance. For many students, these algorithms offer a more thoughtful and personalized way to meet potential matches that involves more than swiping right or left.

Although romance and love are obviously never guaranteed, these platforms offer a new and unique way to meet people. As an alternative to conventional dating applications, more personalized platforms like Aphrodite Project have the potential to become pivotal to online dating and match-making.

Among the students frustrated with dating apps during the pandemic is Abby Liznick, a second-year health sciences student at McMaster. 

“At a time when we are all longing for a connection and the ability to spend quality time with others, many turn to dating apps to find instant companionship,” said Liznick. “While these connections temporarily fill the social void left by the pandemic, they are just that — only temporary.”

These matchmaking projects are a testament to the adaptability and innovation people have come up during the pandemic. They offer a glimmer of hope for those who are unable to otherwise experience romance or socializing due to the social restrictions, especially those who are hesitant to try online dating apps. 

Marzan Hamid, a second-year health sciences student, took a chance over the summer of 2020 and completed the Match At Mac questionnaire, eventually to be matched with someone later that year. 

“I think it’s really great that students are taking the initiative to connect others, especially during these unique circumstances,” explained Hamid. “It’s nice to find out that there are still creative ways to meet new people even during a pandemic. I’m sure this will benefit many of my peers!”

“I think it’s really great that students are taking the initiative to connect others, especially during these unique circumstances,” explained Hamid. “It’s nice to find out that there are still creative ways to meet new people even during a pandemic. I’m sure this will benefit many of my peers!”

Thousands of people have been matched by recently-made dating algorithms. This is in addition to the huge rise in usage of dating apps like Tinder since the pandemic began. The future looks bright for dating among university students stuck at home.

Photos C/O Nu Omega Zeta

By: Areej Ali

Nu Omega Zeta is a Black-focused sorority at McMaster that aims to support and enrich the Black community on campus and in Hamilton.

While the sorority was founded in September 2011, plans to launch Nu Omega Zeta were in the works months before the sorority’s founding date.

The seven Nu Omega Zeta founders first looked to Black Greek organizations in the United States, which provided a good perspective on how they should establish their own chapter.

For instance, today, the sorority pairs up new members with a ‘Big Sister’ who provides guidance and support.

The founding members first looked for an executive board and then created the symbols, guidelines and pillars that the sorority would stand for.

According to Eno Antai, the current president of Nu Omega Zeta, members do not need to identify as Black in order to join the sorority.

Nevertheless, the group is Black-focused, aspiring to “promote the growth and enrichment of Black undergraduate students and to enhance their education through the strengthening of the relationships within the Black community.”

In particular, Nu Omega Zeta stands for “Sisterhood, Volunteerism and Knowledge.”

Over the few years, members of the sorority have volunteered at Empowerment Squared, a Hamilton-based charity that seeks to empower marginalized and newcomer communities in Hamilton.

The sorority also runs campus events such as “Chance on Campus,” a one-day event that gives grade 10 and 11 students the opportunity to experience post-secondary life at McMaster and learn about the university’s organizations and academic and financial resources.

When I look back and think why I wanted to join Nu Omega Zeta, I remember feeling very isolated and alone on campus in my first year,” said Gabriela Roberta, a member of the sorority.

“I had no intentions of joining a sorority. However, Nu Omega Zeta was the first and only organization to reach out to me and make me feel as though my fears are not only my own,” said Roberts.

Roberts added that the sorority immersed her in a community of women that truly understood her struggles and concerns.

She strongly feels that Nu Omega Zeta has been a transformative life experience.

For Jet'aime Fray, another member of Nu Omega Zeta, the sorority means sisterhood. Fray explains that the sorority has allowed for her to create long lasting friendships and has given her a unique opportunity to volunteer in Hamilton.

In a society that refuses to acknowledge Black women, having a space that allows you to be unapologetically who you are and celebrates you is very needed,” said Antai, who feels that the space Nu Omega Zeta provides to acknowledge Black women is much needed and can give many students a home away from home.

Julianne Providence joined Nu Omega Zeta for precisely this reason.

I saw it as a space where I could belong. I had seen the ladies on campus and admired the connections they had with each other,” said Providence.

Omega Zeta hosts a number of initiatives throughout the year, including rush events, parties, relationship summits, workshops, networking events about education and support in the Black community and a ‘World AIDS Day’ panel discussion.

Students interested in attending these events or becoming a part of the sorority can get more information on Nu Omega Zeta’s website.

 

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Graphics by Sukaina Imam

By: Jackie McNeill

When I had friends over as a kid, I would pull my mom aside after a few hours and ask, “When are they going to leave?” It’s not that I wasn’t having fun — I loved seeing my friends, but this time with others never failed to become draining and leave me with a need for some alone time.

While I once thought this desire to be alone was abnormal and unhealthy, as I got older I learned to take advantage of it to promote self-improvement. Left alone with just my thoughts, I’ve had the opportunity to think critically about who I am as a person, what I like about myself and what I want to do better.

Learning about who I was, both outside and inside of my relationships with others, and working to better myself has helped to increase my self-esteem exponentially over years of self-reflection.

I’ve experienced how this increase in self-esteem has aided my relationship with myself, but studies show that it can also benefit the way we interact with others.

Megan McCarthy, a professor in the department of psychology at the University of Waterloo, suggests that people with low self-esteem are more likely to stay in unhappy relationships with others, resulting from their resistance to recognize and address problems.

“People with a more negative self-concept often have doubts and anxieties about the extent to which other people care about them,” explained McCarthy.

The self-concept is our idea of self, constructed through a combination of our own beliefs about ourselves and how others respond to us. A negative self-concept, then, can cause someone to assume negative reactions towards them and therefore avoid confrontation or conflict as a defense against these assumptions being actualized.

So, an increase in self-esteem can certainly improve romantic relationships, but those are not the only relationships we experience. Every interaction we have, be it with friends, family, or even our co-workers, can benefit from the practice of self-love and self-care.

Time alone also increases communication with the self through self-awareness. When I spend time alone, my own thoughts, feelings and desires become my priority. This has helped me realize that communicating with myself should remain a priority throughout my life, including when I interact with others, paving the way for honest and open relationships.

In addition, being self-aware has allowed me to be more receptive of others’ thoughts, feelings and desires, which may reflect similar concerns or insecurities that I possess. By reflecting upon the self, we can become more sensitive and considerate towards the people we build relationships with.  

It is important to note that my idea of alone is not one size fits all. Spending time alone can simply mean loneliness for some people, and as a Psychology Today article explains this can lead to anxieties, depression, or reminders of loss and abandonment.

McMaster University’s Prof. Tara Marshall illustrates this idea through the example of a breakup.

After a breakup, people who are more secure in relationships and have higher self-esteem are more likely to desire some time alone,” explained Marshall.

“They may engage in some personal growth-enhancing experiences. People high in anxious attachment, on the other hand, desire to go on the rebound after a breakup,” she added.

Marshall went on to explain that humans are social by nature and we have a need to belong to social groups as our survival has depended on it throughout history. So it is important to balance time spent alone with socialization, just as it’s important to get to know yourself and what will work well for your own self-esteem.

The point of this time spent alone is to improve your feelings about yourself, but also to use this to positively affect your relationships with others. What works for me won’t work for everyone, but maybe by sharing my experience others will venture to learn more about themselves and how they interact with others.

Of course, when trying to self-reflect as a student several issues present themselves. Our days are packed with studying, interactions with peers everywhere on campus, trying to balance friends, a job, finishing that essay and visiting family; our minds never get a break.

So how do you get some quiet time in a busy day? Try the silent study in Mills— it’s a great way to ease yourself into being alone because you’re surrounded by other students, but everyone is focused on their own work. There’s no opportunity for socialization to distract you from yourself.

Sitting still can be difficult, so go for a walk alone in a quiet neighbourhood. No phone calls or music, just reflect on that day or what’s to come and make an effort to think positively.

If these options take too much time, go to bed 20 minutes earlier than usual and let your mind wander while trying some deep breathing. This can help ease stress and relax your mind, leaving it open for reflection.

This time alone allows you to drop what Psychology Today calls your “social guard.” Pay attention to how you behave alone and compare it to how you behave around others, and maybe work to let some of your “alone” self bleed into your public persona.

Whether you crave alone time like me or not, we can all benefit from a bit of self-reflection to better our relationship with ourselves and others. Self-awareness and the resulting higher self-esteem make an impact on the way we interact with others, and can keep our relationships open, honest and healthy.

 

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By: Jillian Perkins-Marsh, alumni career counsellor 

For folks who are trying to figure out what an occupation is really like before taking the leap or for those trying to build their connections to help with their job search efforts, informational interviews can be extremely helpful. Really, what is better than one-on-one time with someone who can offer you career advice at minimum, and at the end of the spectrum, if all goes well, someone who may offer to pass along your resume to the right people and tell you about unadvertised jobs?

Informational interviews can be a highly effective way to build connections. If the meetings are done right, they can be an amazing way to make a positive first impression with a professional in your field of interest.

Be sure to be genuine in your interest in connecting and to follow up – and avoid the pitfall of ‘transactional networking’. The idea that networking is about focusing on the number of interactions, rather than the quality of the relationships. This is absolutely not what effective networking should involve. Life gets busy. But that is no excuse for not staying in touch and responding to others in a timely way…especially when you initiated the connection.

Try and think from the other person’s perspective. After you reach out to the person you were referred to in a timely manner, remember to circle back to your original contact to update them about your conversation and thank them again. Completing the networking circle will maintain relationships and not leave them wondering if you ever followed up with their suggestion.

These are the kind of recommendations that can help you turn a good strategy for building and using your network into a good and successful strategy for building and using your network, and that can make all the difference.

If you are looking to build your network and don’t know where to start, visit Firsthand, our online networking and mentorship platform. On Firsthand you will find McMaster alumni ready to have career conversations with you and give you advice on how to land a job in the industry of your dreams.

Visit mcmaster.firsthand.co to create your profile today, and potentially find your career match! It’s free, easy to use and right at your fingertips.  Any questions at all, email elnaien@mcmaster.ca.

Watch for upcoming employer – student networking event on March 14 – part of Career Month!

 

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As February comes and brings on Valentine’s Day and assignment due dates, I’m reminded of the possible incompatibility of my relationships and my future plans, something I’m sure I share with others.

With no guarantee of where you may end up after finishing your undergraduate degree, having a long-term partner during your early 20s comes with a series of questions that force you to evaluate your future and your relationship.

Every once in a while, I will check on some old acquaintances from school only to find out that they are not only married, but have children on the way. Others have settled into stable jobs after completing technical, professional degrees.

Whenever I do this, I ask myself, “where is your life going?” and I start taking stock of everything and everyone in my life. Most importantly, I consider my relationship with my partner and how he fits in with my post-grad plans.

While my partner and I have only been together for a little over a year, relatively speaking, we’ve been together for a long time. He’s been a constant in my life for the majority of my undergraduate so far, and it’s hard to picture McMaster without him here.

As someone who loves to plan everything out, I hold a ton of anxiety over how my partner will factor into my post-grad life. Will we end up in the same city? Will we have similar schedules?

I already stress out over grad school applications even though I haven’t even finished third year, so trying to coordinate it with a whole other person is my own personal hell.

I maintain that having a long-term partner while young isn’t really the issue. No matter how old you are, you’re making a commitment to someone without any concrete evidence that your relationship will succeed, using only inferences made from your past. So long as you’re honest with your partner and willing to compromise, most relationships can do well. The problem lays in the insecurity of your early twenties.

Very little in my life is set in stone right now. While I have some concept of where I want to end up after my bachelor’s degree, nothing yet is confirmed. Like most 21-year-olds, my life is a crushing monotony that I must follow, lest I ruin my future, and it’s essentially the same case for my 24-year-old partner.

There isn’t necessarily a fear of breaking up. Social media makes long-distance relationships easier than they have ever been before. For me, the fear is in how these changes may diverge from each other and inadvertently colour an otherwise healthy relationship.

Much of the research surrounding development agrees that people continue to mature well into adulthood and it’s no secret that a change in environment will cause someone to behave a little differently.

I often wring my hands worrying about how my partner will change once he leaves Hamilton at the end of this semester, mostly concerned that our dynamic may change when he starts the next part of his life.

That’s not to say change isn’t good; ideally you would want to grow with your partner and mature together, especially if you started dating as young as we did, and if you’re changing your environment, you’re going to have to grow.

But a quiet voice in my head will always remind me of how easily things between us could shift, and how quickly we may lose sight of each other. This is especially a concern when you’re a little younger than your partner, as I am, because I’m always going to worry that I’m not achieving my goals at the same rate as he is.

These thoughts are, in my case, unfounded and easy to overcome since all they really require are good communication. So long as you’re talking about your issues, you can grow as a person and still maintain a good relationship with your partner, something that I have found with my partner in the last few months.    

You might still break up, but you will at least have the infrastructure to productively talk about your issues. And to me, that’s really what’s most important: even if things don’t work out, there’s no reason for your breakup to be a bitter affair, especially when so much of what happens in your 20s is outside of your control.

At times it feels like I fell in love too young, but that discredits the support and fulfillment me and my partner offer to each other.

While it would have probably been easier to fall in love after I found a stable job, I wouldn’t trade my relationship with my partner for anything. No matter where we end up, I’m glad we’re together.

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By: Mitali Chaudhary

Why does love feel like literally being stabbed by cupid’s arrow? Be it a bout of infatuation or a full-blown deep and passionate promise, at every step of the game, love seems to hurt just as much as it brings joy. To make things even more complicated, there isn’t just one type of pain that it causes. Instead, we get to experience an impressive range of conflicting feelings that are difficult to name, much less describe. But for all the lovers out there, we have made an effort.

Let’s start with the one the makes you feel the most insane: infatuation. This is essentially when you’re crushing hard on someone you often don’t know quite that well. Maybe they are in one of your classes. A popular activity in this phase is the social media, shall we say, “reconnaissance work.” During your research, you come across a picture of your object of affection with a (attractive) friend that suddenly makes you feel hurt. This is an interesting mix of about 78 percent cold, hard, green jealousy, ten percent indignation, ten percent hurt and two percent guilt (you stalker). “How dare they?” you might ask yourself, until you realize that they are human beings allowed to have friends and that they are not in a relationship with you.

Now let’s fast forward to when you and your darling are dating, and you think you might actually be in love. When you’re together, you’re over the moon, you have stars in your eyes and all that mushy stuff. You’re so happy that it hurts. There it is again, but this time it’s a faint pain at the back of your ribcage. Yes you’re both here, yes you’re having the greatest time, but that just makes you think more and more that you can’t live without them. Which is equally amazing and terrifying: are they the one? This pain is a strange one, as it’s 80 percent a feeling of being overwhelmed (in the best way possible), ten percent fearful and ten percent trusting. It’s pretty messed up.

Of course, it’s all roses and pink stuff when your love is right there, but when they have to go home to get some work done on their assignment (which you have to work on too, by the way, but you’ve been ignoring it because OMG IN LOVE), you feel pained once more. This pain is actually the most famous of all the love-pains: even Shakespeare thought to comment on it, as he penned, “Parting is such a sweet sorrow.” This ache is more of a piercing sadness, with about 64 percent abandonment, 20 percent grief, 12 percent powerlessness and four percent embarrassment (because you know that you’ll be seeing them the next day). This is amplified approximately 300 times when you’re in a long distance relationship.

Unfortunately, this analysis does nothing to demystify the complexities of and connections between pain and love. But it’s amazing to think that the strange and deep feelings this relationship creates has inspired thousands of years of human art and literature. These, undoubtedly, are reassurances to those suffering from love that they are not alone, and are, in fact, not insane.

Photo Credit: Stephen Phillips

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On Saturday nights, you can typically find my roommate/best friend and I studying at home. This past Saturday was no different. But as we diligently worked away and dutifully sipped our coffee, a blip presented itself in our routine.

She sent me a link to a four-minute video from this season’s The Bachelor.

I hit the play button even though I knew it was a bad idea. I knew that, if I pressed that play button, I would effectively be rendering my hard-earned productivity that evening useless. Needless to say, what ensued after that four-minute video was two hours of catching up on the episodes we had missed thus far, notes strewn haphazardly across our desks. By the time we emerged from the rabbit hole, it was two in the morning.

Let’s talk a little bit about season 20 of The Bachelor. Ben Higgins, a software salesman, is the star of the show. Ben Higgins is also a very handsome man. Now, I am not a “Bachelor” aficionado, by any means. The extent of my knowledge comes from a couple of episodes during high school sleepovers and the occasional perusing of magazine articles at Shoppers Drug Mart. But Ben Higgins has a quality about him that immediately captivated my roommate and I (plus millions of other women, no doubt). Besides his pretty face, Ben has a seemingly genuine desire for love that many people hope for in their significant others. He is also well-spoken, endearing and hopelessly charming. He just seems like an all-around good guy. Of course, reality television never portrays actual reality. But Ben Higgins has a cool, relaxed vibe makes him feel very real. This is precisely why he sells.

Besides a certifiably great choice in the candidate for The Bachelor this season, the makers of the show should also be commended for the measures they took to ensure that, even at season 20, The Bachelor remained far from stale. In the batch of seriously gorgeous women this season, there are your typical drama instigators and soft-spoken crowd favourites. But there are also a few very crazy ones and even a set of identical twins, Emily and Haley Ferguson. It’s interesting that, while every other woman has an occupation listed under their name, Emily and Haley only have the word “Twin.” (Incredible, I know.)In addition, during the first meeting with Ben, one of the women (a dentist) decided to give the bachelor a teeth cleaning in order to prepare him for a potential kiss. Unsurprisingly, he did not kiss her. On the first one-on-one date, the pair were accompanied by Kevin Hart and Ice Cube on a “Ride Along.” Reportedly, these first two episodes pretty much set the tone for how the rest of the season will play out – very strange, but also very entertaining.

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It’s easy to sit here and debate over the subjectivity of what is good television and what is bad television. However, it is widely agreed that The Bachelor is not a good television show by its own merit. No matter how attractive Ben Higgins is or how entertaining the story line becomes, I know this. My best friend knows this. Society knows this. Good television series exist far and wide, but The Bachelor is not one of them.

I am certainly more predisposed to watch shows like Transparent over The Bachelor. Often, fundamentally good television shows (such as Transparent) or movies explore deeper themes and require more attention or emotional investment. While those are always fantastic to watch and gush over, it may not be a bad idea to revisit an old childhood movie (She’s The Man, anyone?) or a “trash” TV show when you’re just seeking a much-needed break from the daily stresses of school and life. It’s important to spend time being entertained over something as silly as a dating show; while it may not be a “good show,” it’s worthwhile simply in its ability to help you let loose. Spending time to be mindlessly entertained every now and again – or spending time for yourself at all – is something society has engrained within us as wasteful and inefficient. But it’s really important to not feel guilty about taking a breather; it is both a rejuvenating and regenerative activity that may benefit you in the long run.

My best friend and I met at the beginning of first year and have been inseparable ever since. Both of us are in the same program and have a pretty aligned set of values and interests. In fact, many people who meet us fall into disbelief when they realize we only met a year and a half ago and have not known each other since childhood. She is endlessly caring, kind, assiduous, intelligent…  I could go on forever. I trust her to the world’s end; there are few things I wouldn’t do for her.

Lately, however, we have both been so busy that we rarely see each other despite living in the same apartment. Maintaining a healthy balance of school, extracurricular activities, work and friends is a massive challenge that many of us are tasked with. When other areas flare up, particularly school, it’s easy to let others sit on the back burner for a little while. Recognizing this, both my best friend and I have decided to make some changes in our respective schedules to fit in a time each week, no matter how brief, where we spend time unwinding together. Now, we have a date every week to watch the new episode of The Bachelor.

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The Bachelor has certainly made me see that watching what is widely regarded as a bad show doesn’t diminish my personality or my other interests in good shows. It debunked my fear that watching it automatically places me in the categorwy of “people with poor taste.” It’s really not that serious. Sometimes bad TV simply makes for a really good time with your best friend.

Header Photo Credit: Star Pulse, in-article: Felicia Graham 

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By: Emily Current

One of Facebook’s features is its “like” button, which is used to express appreciation for a post without actually leaving a comment. Now Facebook is giving us more options with new reactions — a heart, an angry face, a sad face, a smiling face, a laughing face, and a stunned face — introduced in Ireland and Spain.

As it is, people already press the like button complacently. You can see the likes on pictures and other posts accumulating into the hundreds, and then far higher for posts that get repeatedly shared. With the numbers of likes on posts growing so high, these likes become essentially meaningless. People have stopped noticing that their friends liked their picture, and started looking just at the number of likes they’ve received. The introduction of Facebook’s new reactions brings up the question of whether this will be any different. Take for instance the heart button. Realistically it will probably not end up being used much differently than the like button. If people really did care about a post they saw and wanted to express that to the person who made the post, then they would take the time and the effort to actually make a sincere comment about it. Facebook’s heart button will probably just end up being used by people who want to appear to be thoughtful and sincere, but who don’t really have anything they want to express. For the most part, it will probably be used as a gesture, just as likes are now.

The outlook for the “angry face” reaction doesn’t seem much better. Why would anyone actually need an angry face to express themselves on Facebook? Do we really want social media to give us an easy way to publicly show anger? This tool could be very easily misused. The angry face could be used to express an actual justified grievance, but it probably won’t be used in that way. If someone is genuinely angry, they’re not going to show that by clicking an angry face button on Facebook — they will comment. It is more likely that the angry face reaction will end up being used in a passive aggressive manner, with people clicking the button on someone’s post and thinking “there, now they know I’m mad at them” thus avoiding direct confrontation.

Like with the angry face and the heart, the problem with the sad face reaction is that it can’t actually genuinely be used to express the emotion that it’s meant to convey. The act of clicking a button is simply not enough of a gesture to have any meaning. If permanently introduced, the sad face reaction will probably dissolve into another empty expression of empathy.

As for the stunned face, the smiling face, and the laughing face, I suppose nothing bad can really be said about them. But on the other hand, nothing good can really be said about them either. They’re harmless but unnecessary additions that will most likely neither contribute anything to Facebook nor have any detrimental effects. They’re just new add-ons that people might enjoy using, but that aren’t really needed.

The introduction of Facebook’s new set of reactions brings up the question of whether buttons on social media should be a part of our daily interactions. The stunned face, the smiling face, and the laughing face aren’t really problematic, as people can use these reactions without having much of an impact. The heart and sad face highlight the issue of insincere emotions on social media, and the angry face is just asking for trouble. Overall, these new reactions are not an improvement to Facebook. They bring with them new issues to the already complex social media site.

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Disclaimer: I hate wearing jeans. I also don’t have a boyfriend. However, I promise that I am not just being bitter when I say that I dislike the new trend in denim of “boyfriend jeans” for women.

Sharing clothing with someone you are dating is intimate. It implies shared property ownership, or at the very least, the promise that you will see that person again before laundry day. Maybe it is something you wear to remind you of your partner throughout the day, or maybe it has been borrowed after spending the night; either way, this romantic exchange of clothing is something that the fashion industry has decided to cash in on. The benefit is that these jeans — and all the associations that come along with them — can be purchased without the prerequisite of an actual boyfriend.

So what exactly is the issue with this trend? Jeans cycle through fads faster than our wardrobes can keep up, meaning that this style isn’t guaranteed to stick around. Other trends such as bellbottoms or boot cuts were perfectly innocuous, so why should we care about this one in particular?

The reason is the gender dynamics that have been explicitly incorporated into your clothing. Since these pants are not marketed as “men’s slouchy jeans for women” but as “boyfriend” jeans, they assume certain things about their audience, primarily that they are heterosexual. The sharing of clothing is also not reciprocal. I have never seen a “girlfriend jean” for men, or any other form of female clothing designed for boyfriends, meaning that the denim industry is only comfortable with cross-dressing when it can’t in any way be construed as emasculation or in any way disturb the gender binary.

These jeans also dictate what your relationship should look like. The design leads us to believe that girlfriends are supposed to be physically smaller — both shorter and skinnier — than their boyfriends. The jeans are intended to be baggy with a rolled up cuff, since your imaginary boyfriend ought to physically outstrip you. Standing at five foot ten, I promise you that none of my previous boyfriends’ jeans would have fit me at all, let alone in an artistically baggy fashion. I can’t help but feel I’m somehow the “wrong” size when these jeans are just a small part of a larger message to women that we are supposed to shrink ourselves to fit into our interpersonal relationships.

Perhaps more concerning about the boyfriend jean is its function as a sartorial “no homo.” As of late, women’s fashion trends have been embracing what were previously seen as men’s styles. By labelling a jean as a “boyfriend” cut, you allay the fears of the heterosexual female shopper worried about venturing into “butch” territory. Worried that people might assume you are gay based on your pant selection? Don’t worry, your jeans are just as heterosexual as you are!

In keeping with traditional gender dynamics and inequalities, it should not shock you that your boyfriend jeans can cost you more than your actual boyfriend’s jeans. The cheapest pair on the Levi’s website clocked in at 98 dollars, while the male counterpart cost ten bucks less. (I for one resent the fact that men’s jeans were not only cheaper, but also free of stylized holes.) While this may not seem like much, when every piece of clothing that you are buying is around ten percent more expensive, it starts to add up.

It’s not news that the fashion industry has its problems, but while there has been a push in the past decade for the industry to do away with some of the more blatant issues, the banal ones remain. Do I think abolishing this style of jean will singlehandedly bring about gender equality? Not at all. But do I think this fashion trend is symptomatic of larger issues to do with heteronormativity and body expectations? Absolutely. Break out the ice cream and Netflix, because it is time for us to dump our boyfriend jeans.

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By: Alex Killian

Welcome Week 2015 saw an innovative and important campaign on campus. From the social media platforms of Facebook and Twitter, to posters all across campus, to the buttons we still see today, the #Consent initiative represented a conversation many students were relieved to have on a safe, open and accepting campus. In the works since April 2012 and based on recommendations from the “It’s Time” project, it represented the first of three awareness campaigns aimed to reduce violence against women on campus.

The #Consent campaign was launched by the Sexual Assault Centre of Hamilton & Area and YMCA Hamilton. In partnership with many campus groups and services, these organizations took a challenging subject and started a conversation about the prevalence and impact of rape culture. The campaign explored what role we play as students and leaders in our school community in dismantling and reacting to our perpetuating harmful systems of oppression. They started a conversation about our generation’s impact on society and the new wave of Marauders on campus.

Yes, it is an uncomfortable conversation for some. However, it is extremely relevant for all as consent extends beyond sexual situations. It is crucial in every interpersonal interaction. In some situations, it is socially implied and expected, such as when we knock on someone’s door, symbolically requesting entry. The Welcome Week initiative on campus took the first steps to making the act of asking for and voicing positive and ongoing consent just as subconscious and normal as knocking on someone’s door before entering.

Welcome Week is supposed to be fun, others might argue. But, once again, the consent conversation applies outside of sexual situations. Positive and ongoing consent is fundamental to fun and enjoyment. Getting dragged to an amusement park against one’s will does not sound like a lot of fun.

The campaign could not have come at a better time in the school year. The first weeks of university are critical. There is a new, potentially vulnerable population on campus, which, by participating in the conversation, becomes more aware, more critical and ultimately safer.

Every Welcome Week is planned with strategic priorities in mind. For Welcome Week 2015, working to end sexual violence was one of those. The conversations throughout Welcome Week underline that understanding and practicing consent is an important part of this process. Social change always starts with education and awareness. As such, we have taken the first steps to creating a culture of respect and consent on our campus—let’s not lose the momentum.

Welcome Week was a chance to educate and raise awareness; Homecoming weekend is a chance to put in all into practice. Continue to ask open-ended questions and to listen for a response. Look out for your friends and make sure to keep checking in with those around you, particularly as the blood alcohol levels start to rise as the day goes on.

Like Welcome Week, Homecoming is an exciting, fast-paced event, with traditions and social expectations. Things can be memorable and enjoyable, when everyone is consenting and on the same page.

With that in mind, have fun this Homecoming! Demonstrate that beautiful maroon and grey Marauder pride while making your fellow Marauders proud by keeping the conversation on #Consent going.

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