Yoohyun Park/Production Coordinator

How migratory grief makes the holiday season difficult for some immigrants

Immigration has the power to perplex many components of an immigrant's life and celebrating the holidays is one of them. While most people enjoy the New Year's and Christmas break with their friends and family, immigrants are often left feeling puzzled

Time and time again, people tell us to be thankful for the opportunity that we have. 

They tell us we have the luxury of living in a first-world country filled with freedom and liberty. They tell us we are living the dream of our people back home. They instruct us not to complain as we are the privileged ones compared to our fellow "third worlders." 

They tell us we are living the dream of our people back home. They instruct us not to complain as we are the privileged ones compared to our fellow "third worlders."

KIMIA TAHAEI, OPINIONS STAFF WRITER

Constantly hearing these bitter statements makes an immigrant feel as if they can't possibly be upset about anything. No one dares to discuss the brutal reality of migratory grief. 

Migratory grief is significantly different from other types of grief, with the main difference being there is no actual disappearance. In most cases of grief, there usually involves a complete disappearance of someone or something. 

However, with migratory loss, no one has disappeared and you're merely mourning the separation from the country of origin, which is still there. Perhaps because there is no physical disappearance, no one addresses the doleful aftermath of departing from your home country. 

One of the hardships that often gets swept under the rug is the difficulty of celebrating a holiday that is so foreign to you.

To begin with, the celebration of Christmas and New Years is simply strange to most immigrants since we celebrate at a completely different time of the year. Moving past the sheer confusion, the customs that often accompany these holidays are also challenging to follow. Christmas is a package that comes with traditions such as receiving gifts, decorating trees and cookies with milk. Not only are most of these rituals unknown to an immigrant, but they are also costly. 

Most first-generation immigrants are struggling financially and simply trying to make it day by day and Christmas shopping is the last thing on their minds. As a result, an immigrant often can't even partake in these festivities because of their financial circumstances. 

Consequently, Christmas and other holidays become just a regular day — a regular day filled with disappointment, uncertainty and embarrassment. And to make things worse, you can't complain because others will label you as ungrateful.  

Consequently, Christmas and other holidays become just a regular day — a regular day filled with disappointment, uncertainty and embarrassment. And to make things worse, you can't complain because others will label you as ungrateful.

KIMIA TAHAEI, OPINIONS STAFF WRITER

Another factor that adds to the mix of these unpleasant feelings is the reminder of how your own holiday is just another day in this country. While most are celebrating Christmas, first-generation immigrants are thinking about their traditions back home and how much they miss them. 

However, as mentioned above, you have no right to complain about such an “insignificant issue” as this should be a small price to pay for liberty and freedom. 

As first-generations grow up and successfully integrate into Western society, the holiday season does not bother them as much as before due to the power of adaptation. However, I believe that it would have been great if we were given the room to mourn the loss of our country, traditions and customs as children. 

Although we get over it after some years, the acknowledgement of our struggles as immigrants on a new land would have given us a smoother start. 

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Since the federal government’s initial announcement of refugee resettlement in Canada, many Syrian refugees have made it to Hamilton; however, the process has been neither short nor easy. Faced with language and cultural barriers, settlement is a process that’s dependent on the help and efforts of the larger community. McMaster students volunteering with Wesley Urban Ministry and professors helping to sponsor families through the 20 for 20 organizations are no strangers to the new members of the Hamilton community. For the rest of us, it is high time we welcome our new neighbours.

20 for 20

The 20 for 20 project was modelled after the approach that Ryerson University took in partnering with Lifeline Syria to sponsor 75 refugee families. At Ryerson, most families are sponsored by groups of five, each including one professor who often singlehandedly contributes $5,000 for their sponsorship group. Since the conception of the equivalent of this initiative in Hamilton, 20 for 20, the organization has undergone major changes.

One month ago, the focus shifted from asking large companies to sponsor a family to approaching smaller business or individuals in the community.  The organization also established new team of volunteers called the Resettlement Team. Volunteers under this title will work with the Wesley Urban Ministries to provide assistance to government-assisted refugees already making Hamilton their home.

Hayley Welham, the project manager of the initiative, recognizes this as a better use of volunteer effort.

“A lot of people at McMaster wanted to help immediately, kind of hit the ground running. So we thought the best way to encourage people to stay on for the long haul was to show them that they can make a difference right away.”

The Immigrants Working Center currently has 30 applications for private sponsors on file from Syrian families. Up until now, 22 of these families have been matched with sponsors. The 20 for 20 project is working towards finding sponsors for the remaining eight. Next on the list is a couple with a background in engineering and expecting a child.

When asked about the pressure of time, Welham attests that it has lessened. “There was more of a pressure when we started, because the government was welcoming refugees very quickly. Applications were being turned over every week at the beginning of January. Since we have hit the 25,000 mark, it has slowed down application processing … There is an urgency but not the same as it was before. It’s a long term project.”

“A lot of people at McMaster wanted to help immediately, kind of hit the ground running. So we thought the best way to encourage people to stay on for the long haul was to show them that they can make a difference right away.”

Keep on smiling

Ahmed, a 31-year-old Syrian refugee, arrived to Hamilton 40 days ago. One of many Syrian refugees supported by the government, he has travelled here with his sister and father. His life before stepping on Canadian soil has shaped who he is, and his perspective on his new life in Canada.

At his temporary residence in a Hamilton hotel, Ahmed talks to the 20 for 20 or Wesley Ministries volunteers. But at one point in his life, he was a volunteer himself. For two years, he volunteered in Jordan, providing psychosocial support for International Relief and Development and as a general volunteer for Oxfam. He believes organizations should coordinate volunteers here into groups first for health, second for sports, third for travel and fourth for psychosocial support. Ahmed wishes there was more support in the latter area.

“Me and all my family are happy,” Ahmed said of his arrival in Canada.

“I put a smiley face in Jordan all along the wall. If you came to my office, you would see a smiley face, smiley face … And my backpack, and my laptop, smiley face … Smiling is very important in life. What has happened, you should smile. Maybe you [will] feel better.”

New challenges

Starting anew in a strange country is not easy. Things that come naturally to those who have lived our whole lives in Canada are novel, exciting and also daunting to newcomers. Starting life in Canada is hard, because many things are polar opposites compared to refugees’ native countries, from language, to work, to transportation, to appointments. “Everything is different. I don’t speak my country bad or your country bad, no. Different. Like two brothers, they are not the same.”

Yet the reason refugees were drawn here is apparent. “I think Canada is better than any Arabic country. I am happy for us. Now I can start my life here. I have a plan in my mind that needs three years to be established … It’s so hard. I need support. Everyone needs support because we are strange in this country. For example, when paying for the bus, I don’t ask about transfer. Next time, someone tell me take transfer to come back free. We are strange here, we don’t know anything, but we learn.”

Ahmed attributes much of the ease in the process of acclimatization to McMaster students volunteering with 20 for 20 or Wesley Urban Ministry. By sharing their experience, volunteers can impart knowledge that is not always explicit. A bit of the unfamiliarity is attenuated by volunteers who can share their experiences, acting as liaisons between the refugees and the country they find themselves in. By breaking down the language barrier, volunteers who speak Arabic are further able to establish common ground, to which Ahmed can attest. “If [volunteers] know English and Arabic, I relax when I am in contact with him.”

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Basic needs

Starting from the moment that the first refugees landed in Canada, organizations have prioritized housing and health care. For Ahmed, the opportunity for better health care hits close to home. Currently 62 years old, Ahmed’s father suffers from multiple sclerosis. In Jordan or Syria, there were no treatments available to him. Ahmed believes that they have found the treatment here.

While these basic needs are critical pillars in refugee settlement, emphasis has yet to be placed on mobilizing refugees. The possibility of reaccreditation programs for those who come from an educated background is being considered. The focus is starting to shift to education and providing resources beyond basic needs.

We can get used to life here. Maybe in one year, any family can get used to life here and we may not have any problem. The system here is very good. We missed a system.”

Even through daily dialogue in their interactions with refugees, volunteers are able to offer some support in language development. For refugees who are active and seek to learn more about the new environment they find themselves in, they inevitably learn new things every day. Yet many want to go beyond learning how to navigate their surroundings.

Ahmed wishes to return to his studies. “I would love to work in business and management, but I don’t have my certification. I think it’s difficult.”

Ahmed’s love of studying is apparent. “I came with Hayley to [the interview] because I love studying, I love university. If you don’t study, it’s a hard life … In our country, at the doors of the school it reads ‘school is second mom.’ Everyone has two moms: your own, and school.”

Psychosocial support

Welham admits that it can be difficult to predict what will be help people trying to settle in. “I think the hardest thing for the volunteers so far has been identifying where the needs are, because I don’t know if any of the volunteers come from traumatic backgrounds, but I know I don’t. So going into a situation with hundreds of people who probably all have very traumatic histories, not being able to necessarily relate on that level makes it really difficult to identify what the needs are. We can identify the obvious ones, like helping the kids stay active and learn English, but something like psychosocial support isn’t necessarily at the forefront of our minds in terms of services we can provide. You can’t relate to something you haven’t experienced, so it’s hard.”

While they are not always needed, Ahmed stresses the importance of such supports.

“I think it is very important to care about psychosocial [aspects]. Many things happened to families in Syria that were bad. Maybe [they] lost a father, mother or brother. Maybe go to prison. No one knows what has happened, maybe many families don’t speak about it, but many families it hurts inside. They need support psychosocially.”

Ahmed believes the future lies in nurturing the younger generations. “I think kids are all things in life. When kids grow up, they make everything. If we care about kids, in the future, we can relax. If we don’t care about kids, we will have a bad future. Canada is good about this point. Canada teaches kids everything, school, sports, swimming, basketball, everything.”

When asked about the main differences between his home and Canada, Ahmed laughed. “Too much. So much,” he said. “We can get used to life here. Maybe in one year, any family can get used to life here and we may not have any problem. The system here is very good. We missed a system.”

The Syrian Refugee Project will host a Paint Nite fundraiser in May. Funds raised will be in support of a Syrian refugee couple in Iraq with a baby on the way. They are both engineers.

You can learn more about 20 for 20 and how to get involved by visiting their website or Facebook.

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By: Nimesha Wickramasuriya

The 2011 Syrian civil war has resulted in more than ten million individuals in need of humanitarian assistance. Many have fled to neighboring European countries but some have been denied access. For example, last week Croatia was overwhelmed with the number of refugees entering their country and sent thousands of individuals to the Hungarian border without the assurance that they will be granted safe access. In light of these recent events, I would like to take a look at the Canadian history in refugee assistance and what we can do to alleviate the Syrian refugee crisis.

Canada has a long history of involvement with refugee assistance, even before the country became independent of British rule. In 1776, 3,000 African-American individuals escaping slavery were granted safe passage into Canada. In fact many Canadian citizens can trace their origins in Canada back to humble refugee beginnings, which contributes to the Canadian population’s multicultural blend.

Unfortunately, Canada also has a history of hostility; in 1939, 907 Jews fleeing Nazi persecution boarded a ship called St. Louis and headed to Cuba hoping to escape Germany. The Cuban government, as well as the United States, and other Latin American countries refused to grant them access. As a last resort, they started their journey towards North America hoping Canada would take them in. After a month long voyage at sea, they reached our border only to be refused entrance again as Prime Minister Mackenzie King  felt that this was “not a Canadian problem.” They were forced to return back to Germany where all of them were placed in concentration camps, and where 254 of them faced excruciatingly horrible deaths.

This occurred over 75 years ago, and the outcome of St. Louis still haunts our collective consciousness, yet this event did not hinder the hostility of Canadians in the future towards accepting refugees. In 2010, after the end of the Sri Lankan civil war, a boat occupying 490 refugee escapees reached British Columbian coastal waters after a three month long voyage. They did not receive a warm welcome; they were faced with armed border guards and RCMP officers, as if escaping the war-torn country was not enough. Their boat was thoroughly inspected by officials for human trafficking, drugs and “terrorist-like activities” and even after the full inspection they were detained in the boat for several months until Canada made a decision. Meanwhile, the health of the refugees declined greatly without medical assistance, resulting in one death and several others severe cases of illness.

I hope history does not repeat itself with the Middle Eastern refugee crisis. Fortunately, some European countries have been providing assistance: Germany has granted access to 50,000 refugees per year, while the UK has pledged to take in 20,000 refugees directly from Syrian refugee camps by 2020 and France has consented to 24,000 individuals.

But with over 10 million individuals displaced from their homes, this is not enough. Canada and the Harper government has agreed to take in an additional 10,000 refugees from Syria and Iraq over the next four years but has also elusively stated that there may be “processing delays.” This is a pitifully low number considering that Ontario being larger than Germany, the UK and France combined.

After the St. Louis and the Sri Lankan-Tamil boat, one would think the barriers that we put up would be broken down, so what is keeping our country from accepting more? At the moment the government and media seem to be one-sided, only focusing on the negative aspects of accepting refugees.

This type of coverage can result in racism and damaging stereotypes. I believe accepting more refugees might actually help Canada by contributing to a more diverse population and better unifying Canada with the Middle East. We ought to learn from our past mistakes, disregard our prejudices, and allow more refugees into our country.

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