McMaster alumna Elizabeth Ivanecky’s first book tackles questions of happiness
C/O Elizabeth Ivanecky
Happiness is a guiding light in our lives. It’s something we all aspire to but rarely, if ever, do we actually ask people if they’re happy. McMaster alumna Elizabeth Ivanecky is asking this question. Her new book The Child in Us: A Collection of Stories about Happiness explores her own search for happiness through the stories of influential people in her life.
Growing up in Dundas, Ontario, stories were always an important part of Ivanecky’s life. Her father initially inspired her love of stories by sharing stories with her and siblings before bed. It had always been Ivanecky’s dream to be an author.
Ivanecky completed two bachelors of arts at McMaster University: one as a double major in English & cultural studies and history, the other in French studies. After graduating in 2018, she entered the job market and worked mostly freelance jobs, doing translation work.
“After I finished university in 2018, I knew I needed to enter the job market quickly and so I just applied for whatever job I could get. But my brother was confused because he knew that I always wanted to be a writer and I'm applying for translation jobs, but those are the ones that I could get at the time. During my conversation I had with him he really pushed me to pursue my dream of being a writer, so that was the first thing that inspired this book,” explained Ivanecky.
Combined with this conversation with her brother, there were two other things that inspired her book. First was the song “The Child in Us” by Enigma, which really moved Ivanecky. Second was a quote from the late actor, Heath Ledger: “Everyone you meet always asks you if you have a career, are married or own a house as if life was some kind of grocery list. But no one ever asks if you’re happy.”
“I took that quote really literally and I thought I want to be that person that asked about people's happiness because I myself was going through moments after university where I realized I really need to do the things that make me happy,” said Ivanecky.
I took that quote really literally and I thought I want to be that person that asked about people's happiness because I myself was going through moments after university where I realized I really need to do the things that make me happy,
Elizabeth Ivanecky
She started the process of writing her book in 2019. First, she interviewed many of the influential people in her life and asked them what happiness meant to them. From there she refined her writing style, ultimately opting to use creative nonfiction to fully do justice to the stories she was sharing.
The thread that unites these stories is the importance of channelling your inner child in order to find and remember happiness.
“My goal was that people reflect more on their happiness. I think after you read my book you really get a sense that there's no one right way to be happy in life and there's no one right path. We each have different paths toward our happiness and it's really just a matter of being intentional about your choices so that you can find happiness along the way in your journey . . . I include lessons at the end of each of my chapters so you learn different ways to find and remember your happiness and to channel the inner child within,” explained Ivanecky.
My goal was that people reflect more on their happiness. I think after you read my book you really get a sense that there's no one right way to be happy in life and there's no one right path.
Elizabeth Ivanecky
The Child in Us was published in December 2020 and is available on Amazon and through many local bookstores. The response so far has been very heartwarming and Ivanecky hopes that it encourages people to continue reflecting on their lives and their happiness.
“[Reflecting on happiness] allows you to experience joy more in your life and while you're never going to completely avoid sadness or these negative moments, it's just how you deal with these moments that really define you. I think when you also think about your happiness more part of that is thinking about how you cope with the negative in life which is also actually a big part of my books, is showing how people have coped with their unhappiness,” explained Ivanecky.
Ivanecky thinks her book might be a good read for students in particular.
“I think in today's day and age we just want things so fast and we think they come so quickly as well but even just thinking about my own life and all the people who I've interviewed, things take time. It takes hard work, dedication, passion, effort, all these things. It takes time for things to happen in your life, to achieve your goals and dreams. So I think this is a good read for students because it puts things in perspective for them so that they don't feel like they need to get everything all at once. They don't need to rush through life,” said Ivanecky.
It takes time for things to happen in your life, to achieve your goals and dreams. So I think this is a good read for students because it puts things in perspective for them so that they don't feel like they need to get everything all at once. They don't need to rush through life.
Elizabeth Ivanecky
More than that, she hopes that it will also remind readers to have hope.
“It's always important to have hope and I think that's always the tone of my book. It's a tone of optimism and hopefulness, so I wanted to make sure the reader felt they can like they can handle whatever life throws at them. I think it's good for students in that sense as well,” added Ivanecky.
Reflecting on our own happiness can give us direction in our lives as well as the strength to persevere in trying times. Books like Ivanecky’s The Child In Us offer insight into how others have found happiness and coped with unhappiness, helping us on our own journeys.
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During the fall term of 2015, McMaster University sent students in Level II and above a survey, asking them to evaluate their undergraduate experience thus far.
The Student Satisfaction Survey, created by the Ontario Undergraduate Student Alliance, touched on a variety of different themes including resource availability, teaching quality and overall satisfaction with students’ chosen program of study.
The majority of the survey was multiple-choice with occasional boxes giving students the option of providing further comment. Since McMaster did not independently create the questionnaire, the survey only queried students’ overall university experience and general satisfaction.
With many students switching programs multiple times, McMaster has failed to create a system that asks targeted questions about academic experiences or gives students the chance to address their program-specific concerns. The OUSA survey may have brought up concerns about education in Ontario, but on our campus, there is no clear avenue for students to express their dissatisfaction without red tape getting in the way.
According to a recent four-year study by the National Centre for Education Statistics, 80 percent of undergraduate students in the United States change their majors at least once over the course of their education. A comparable study has not been completed in Canada, but with post-secondary teaching standards being comparable, and often ranked to be lower than those in the States, Canadian students likely face a similar level of indecision and dissatisfaction.
While the University does offer course evaluations and shared this survey as a stride to address student satisfaction, there are still numerous students who feel unfulfilled with their programs and degrees. The Silhouette sits down with four students who have had disappointing academic experiences to address the three main reasons why they feel or have felt dissatisfaction in their programs — waning interest, a lack of university guidance and the perpetuation of a harmful academic culture.
A change of pace
Shivani Seth, currently a second-year Philosophy and Biology student, found herself looking away from her initial program of study, Chemical Biology. Seth found that despite her love of the field, ChemBio’s focus was far too narrow. Seth was looking for a more holistic experience and she did not share the aversion to essay writing and formal presentations that her peers had.
“I remember one day in class we got a lecture on how to write: grammar, spelling, filler words, and I just sat there like, ‘we are getting a lecture on this.’ I think that’s when it hit me that maybe, what I like to do is different from what the rest of the class liked to do and I think that became more pronounced over the year.”
Upon realizing that the program was not her fit, Seth chose to transfer into a program in a completely different faculty — a decision that didn’t come without challenges.
“It was horribly difficult,” said Seth. “Switching to a whole different Faculty of Humanities, it felt very bizarre. I had to acknowledge I was giving up on previously earned credits. Some would be counted as electives … it was hard to swallow what I was giving up because it means I spent time in another field, basically building my way up there to find out I have to restart at the bottom of another field.”
Unlike Seth whose program was too narrow, fourth-year Honours Life Sciences student Umair Majid considered switching from his program during second year when he felt that the open-ended nature left him without a clear direction. The actual structure of the program streamlined Majid into a vague curriculum that wasn’t what he had in mind. With little guidance from academic advisors and administration, instead of switching programs, Majid looked to extra-curricular activities to find fulfillment while at McMaster.
For students who find themselves interested in their field of studies, but still not completely fulfilled, switching programs can be an extremely difficult decision. For some students, clubs have been the only way to find full satisfaction with their academic experience.
“I spend more time doing non-academic work than academic work. It’s about a 90/10 split, and that 90 percent basically makes my university experience so vibrant because the majority of those things are related some way to my studies.”
Majid used the program’s once overwhelming flexibility to orient his studies to those non-academic activities. Majid eventually became involved with lobbying for a new Life Science course and the start of the student organization “Overcome the Gap.” However, his faculty did very little to promote these non-academic opportunities for students looking for more guidance, yet it is a viable option for people struggling to fit into the broad program.
“The Life Sciences program did not provide the resources or the opportunities to take the knowledge I necessarily gained from all these different courses. I had to do that myself.”
The red tape
As with any other large organization, there are a number of areas where university resources can stumble and fail students. For Seth, it was her own expectations of the curriculum. But for Majid, it was his academic advisors and a lack of guidance from the university.
He found that due to the unspecified nature of the Life Sciences program, the advisors in the Faculty of Science were unable to help him and other students find some direction within the program.
“I feel that in the Life Sciences program they don’t understand what students go through,” he said.
“They should really do a better job at transitioning once you get your acceptance letter.”
According to Majid, the department makes occasional use of a bulletin board and email blasts, but the majority of information relates to environmental science, which is not necessarily the focus of the majority of students in Life Sciences. For him, research into his own program of study was of great interest, but not all students have the time or ability to make that a priority.
“To put it very simply, the students want something but … they don’t know where to reach out and they don’t know how to navigate [their program],” he explained.
The Faculty of Science currently provides five academic advisors for its roughly 6,000 students. While support staff are expensive to uphold, and asking for more advisors may not be feasible, there should still be other methods of guidance available to students so those asking questions are able to find answers.
Tobi Abdul, a recent graduate of McMaster’s Communications program, also found that information about her program was hard to come by, and the academic advising network wasn’t putting out the most helpful information. She initially accepted an offer for Social Work at McMaster, not realizing that unlike most other programs of its kind, Social Work was not a direct entry program.
“I like to look up everything,” she said, referring to the extensive university research she did in Grade 12. “And the fact that I didn’t realize Social Work wasn’t a [direct entry] program means that I wasn’t well-advised … I just didn’t have enough information.”
The small amount of information readily available to incoming students tarnished her experience getting started in the program. The lack of information prevented Abdul from entering her initial program of choice, but luckily, she eventually found a program and system that worked well for her.
“In my last year, I did really enjoy school. I got to take my independent study, I took classes that I wanted to, and at that point I knew how to write about what I wanted to while staying within the guidelines. It just came with a lot of experience, but I guess the end was better than the beginning.”
In addition to her early administrative challenges, she also found obstacles with Student Accessibility Services.
“I also had an ADHD diagnosis when I was 15, and when I got my admissions package, they made it seem like ADHD wasn’t accommodated because technically it’s not a learning disability,” said Abdul.
“I did first year twice because I just dropped so many classes I didn’t have enough credits to go into my second year because I feel like I wasn’t well-advised … they should really do a better job at transitioning once you get your acceptance letter.
That package should come with a list of things you need to know and not just the [link to] the website. They need to let students know what to look for. They need to change the way they lecture. They need to change the culture around lecture. It puts one learning style above others and it makes it difficult for people who don’t learn that way. There are professors who don’t have to use slides and that’s not fair. There are no requirements.”
Toxic culture
While some may be able to transition out of an unpleasant academic situation with personal or academic changes, many students get caught in an unhealthy cycle that makes it difficult for them to want and accept necessary change.
Despite it not being everything she wanted, Seth clearly loved her previous program. “[ChemBio was an] interesting program, great program, but just maybe not the best fit for me,” she said.
While she found the material engaging, Seth was concerned by the lifestyle she and her classmates seemed forced to adopt. She described a routine where she consumed large volumes of coffee to stay awake to get work done. While other Chemical Biology students went to greater extents to minimize the amount of sleep they required.
“Everyone was on caffeine pills,” she said.
Chemical Biology students are certainly not the only group under this pressure. Helen Zeng offers another frightening version of this scenario. A second-year student in the highly competitive Bachelor of Health Sciences program, she found the mentality it breeds in students to be unhealthy and unsafe.
“I find that all my Health Sciences spaces tend to be much more stressful and anxiety induced … I have seen people who have developed anxiety issues … because of being in the program,” said Zeng.
She added that many of the students in her cohort refuse to even acknowledge the level of stress they are experiencing. “It’s almost like it’s a point of weakness … I think it makes it a very toxic environment to be in because that kind of stress can make you hate the things you’re learning, hate the program and get excessively stressed over very small things,” she said.
In a 2013 nation-wide survey on post-secondary students, 86.9 percent of students surveyed said they were exhausted, 56 percent felt overwhelming anxiety and nearly 10 percent had seriously considered suicide. There is clearly a problem with the way students are internalizing and reacting to stress, but many students can’t seem to let go of this harmful culture that is following their education.
“It’s competitive and it’s petty and I see people doing these things that I don’t think they should be,” said Zeng.
Present day
Whether students make the leap to a new program or stay with their original choice remains a highly personal decision that may still present its own challenges.
Ultimately Abdul was far happier in McMaster’s Communications program, however it took until her final year of school to feel satisfied.
Majid provides another case study of making his original program work for him. Now about to graduate, he feels he has a somewhat narrower sense of what he wants to do — education policy being on the list. He has helped revamp the Honours Life Sciences program, spinning his dissatisfaction with the program in a way that helps future students get more out of it.
Even Zeng, despite the unhealthy environment she has found in her program, has no plans to switch out. “It’s just studying alone or getting time outside of the program … I find that getting away from that and studying on my own is beneficial.”
While Abdul, Majid and Zeng all found ways to shape their program to meet their needs, Seth has so far found that she is happier in Philosophy and Biology. However, she is still apprehensive about whether switching was the right move. “I’m that puzzle piece that doesn’t know which puzzle I belong to. I’m watching everyone build their way up and here I am trying to figure out what I want to start working on and where I actually belong,” she said.
Seth acknowledges that her problem is one felt by many students. “I don’t think anyone at the end of the day knows if they’re doing the right thing. As easy as it is for me to say that everyone else has found that puzzle they belong to, I don’t think that’s necessarily true.”
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Shamudi Gunasekera
The Silhouette
“It’s okay. Everything’s fine.”
Those words have come out of me more times than I can count. And more often than not, I was not fine. Behind the sentences of calm and reassurance was a desire that I didn’t want anyone to know how I felt. I had a million reasons. I didn’t want to ruin the mood. I didn’t want to be pitied. I didn’t want to draw any attention to myself.
Because no matter the reason, they’d tell me to move on and be happy.
Often it is said in gentler, more thoughtful ways. But the idea remains the same - if you want to be happy, then be happy. Simple as that, right?
Wrong. Happiness isn’t a matter of choice.
Like the advice, I’ve heard these words echo around me one too many times. By saying that happiness is purely self-selected, it is as if people are suggesting that one chooses to be sad as well.
Maybe all that some people need when they’re feeling down is to remind themselves that they don’t need to feel the way that they do. Maybe it works. And maybe some people are simply better at handling tricky situations than others.
But then there are others, myself included, for whom it is a struggle to feel happy.
We feel the way that we do, when we feel it. And as one of my closest friends once said, “It is difficult to be happy when plagued by things that bring you down. It is like trying to chase a butterfly with a stone tied to your feet.”
We shouldn’t force ourselves to feel something we don’t, no matter if it works for others. Trying to force yourself to be happy can make things worse. Don’t feel pressured to feel happy just because it seems like everyone else is.
On the other side, we shouldn’t also feel guilty for being sad when it seems like there is absolutely no reason to be sad. We need to take the time we need in order to feel better. We need to make peace with the fact that sometimes we feel happy and sometimes we just don’t. Happiness isn’t a choice the same way anger, sorrow, and all other emotions aren’t choices. There is only one choice: to be ourselves through dealing with both happiness and sadness alike.
Nour Afara
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to leave all of your personal insecurities behind. Cast away those morning shudders when gazing at yourself in the mirror because the answer to all your problems is here.
Forget practicing your confident face (or your duck face), plastic perfection is what has been making the news for years now. I’m not here to rant about old news - I’d like to think of myself as a little more fresh, and hip, if I might add. Instead, I’m looking at something more specific within this topic — plastic surgery and young adults.
Is it ethical? Is there an age that can be deemed too young to make such a decision? Are young people ready to make physical alterations to themselves? The questions could go on but I must make it clear that my article is not directed towards those who undergo plastic surgery for medical reasons, but those who do it for aesthetic purposes.
I think that plastic surgery is a great development and that young people should definitely take advantage of it. Although everything that is done in excess is, well, excessive, plastic surgery is no exception. I believe that the only valid reason for having plastic surgery at a young age is for the purpose of being happy or happier. That’s where it all ends. It can be said that you must learn to love yourself as you are — if you can’t accept yourself, then who will? However, I will strongly argue against all of those idealists who assume that loving yourself is the easiest option.
I thought it would be interesting to get the input of some students on campus about this topic. Jessica Grendzienski, a second-year English and history student also thinks that everyone “should be happy with their bodies and not try to change certain parts about [themselves] since that’s what makes [them] unique from others.”
Although this may be the ideal mindset, being unhappy with your body is a huge obstacle to overcome. This isn’t obesity where the weight can potentially be lost or ugly glasses that can be replaced with contact lenses — this is your physical structure, your skin and bones. The only way to change that is to go under the knife.
So all that’s left now is to determine if you’re ready to undergo surgery for the sake of your happiness. How frustrated are you with your imperfection? How sure are you that this surgery will make you happy with yourself? These are questions you must answer for yourself but my goal here is to educate others that there is no shame in going to great lengths to make yourself happy. I feel that the topic of plastic surgery is overly glamorized in the sense that there is this assumption that “no one I know has had plastic surgery.”
This assumption is false. I think that those who have undergone procedures tend to hide it from others, fearing judgmental opinions and prejudice. The most vital thing to remember is to make your decisions based off of your own emotions and your own thoughts.
Natasha DalliCardillo, a second-year English major agrees with this mindset and said she has “never had any surgery done but that does not mean [she] would stand in the way of someone else’s happiness. [She thinks] everyone is beautiful just as they are.
“However, if it will truly make them happy, then they should go for it, by all means.” And that’s exactly what I did. Although I will not go into extensive detail, I will confess that I have undergone plastic surgery. My reason?
Because for the majority of my mature life I absolutely hated a certain feature of mine. Finally, I decided to “fix” my problem and I can confidently say that I am much happier with myself now than ever before.
Plastic surgery among young people should not be embarrassing or something to hide from. It is an opportunity to feel fantastic when you otherwise do not. As long as you have come to this decision on your own and are ready to start glowing with happiness, go for it.
By: Jennifer Bacher
What is happiness? It is often pursued but not everyone achieves it. It cannot be bought or sold and it helps people but can also cause problems. So how do we find it?
Being in University is probably the most stressful, fun, tiring and rewarding four years of your life. With only a week into the school year, many have not felt the pressure of university just yet but brace yourselves - it is coming. Essays, tests, presentations, conflicts and bad marks are only some of the exciting events lurking behind those 40lbs textbooks and cramped lecture hall seats. You will eventually start to wonder if you’ll actually make it to Christmas.
Well, speaking as a veteran, it's easier than you think! One word: happiness. This state of mind will relieve stress and calm anxiety. Here are 10 easy ways to stay happy this school year:
1. Go for a walk: One of Hamilton’s best-kept secrets is that it is actually full of nature - who knew? Nature will calm your mind and body allowing you to free yourself from the busy life of a student. Just put on some running shoes and go for a walk through Cootes Paradise. Thirty minutes will do wonders for the mind.
2. Enjoy the simple things: Sip a nice cup of coffee, read a good book, or listen to some music. Taking 15 minutes out of your day to relax will help to revitalize your mind for that big essay that's due tomorrow.
3. Watch TV: There is nothing better then just sitting on a comfy chair with a hot chocolate (or iced tea, since it's been so freaking hot) watching your favourite episode of Friends. Allow yourself to escape into another reality for an hour and relax.
4. Go out with your friends: Whether it is out to lunch or just an hour conversation, spending time with friends will help you work through problems and to find support in your daily lives. Social connections boosts happiness and health!
5. Exercise: Not only is working out good for your health, but according to many specialists (this one’s for you, Dr. Oz) it can allow for a change in your mood for the better. Whether it’s running, Pilates, or playing your favourite sport, exercise helps you take your mind off of stress and can help with fatigue.
6. Meditate: Meditating helps to relax the body and reduce stress levels. It teaches us to live in the here and now instead of worrying about the future or past. It can also help with concentration problems. Try a form of Yoga, Tai Chi or even just meditating on your own.
7. Volunteer: Helping people is a rewarding way to feel happy and can also help to boost life satisfaction. Find a charity you can relate to or find a program at McMaster.
8. Cooking: Whether it is just for you or you invite some friends over, cooking can be a form of relaxation. Completing a difficult recipe will give you some satisfaction and imagine how delicious the meal will taste!
9. Make goals: Write a list of long-term and short-term goals. Post them in your room where you will see them everyday and as you accomplish a goal check it off. Not only will it keep you motivated, seeing what you have accomplished will keep you positive and focused. Don't forget to reward yourself when you accomplish a goal!
10. Do what you love: It is fairly simple but people often forget that if you love what you are doing it will bring you happiness. Be passionate about what you are doing whether it is school, work, or recreational.
You may not always feel the happiest, but doing something that helps you forget your worries for a while will be beneficial in cheering you up and will make it a bit easier to barrel through those assignments.
