The new academic year allows for plenty of opportunity to meet new people. And the truth is, as the school year moves into full swing, so does our libido. This conscious state of searching for sex, to be frank, is acceptable. It is our natural tendency to look for those who could be future sexual partners.
However, our approach to this is often questionable.
“Are they hot?” is the most common question I hear my friends, peers, and classmates ask before they encounter someone whom they could be interested in. Often my housemates will be talking about their boyfriend’s friends, or the neighbors, or guys who the rest of us are unfamiliar with, and someone will utter those three dangerous words.
It may seem like a reasonable question, and in many ways it is. Our first initial impression of someone stems from his or her appearance. We decide based on that impression how we will proceed with that person. But this question also has flaws, issues, and holes.
First and foremost, our friends’ views on who we find good-looking are not necessarily in line with our own.
Many times others have questioned the men I’ve drooled over (and for a few, I can’t say I blame them). The point being, you may think someone is absolutely gorgeous but your friends think you’ve lost your mind. They don’t like the facial hair, or the hockey flow, or the bridge of her nose. I’ve heard girls say, “there’s just something about his face that turns me off”, and guys “she’s like a 6, decent looking, I’d go for that”.
Obviously there are basic characteristics that make someone good looking, but a lot of attraction is based on one’s interpretation of beauty. By asking your friends if someone is hot prior to meeting them, you are unknowingly letting their opinions influence your perception of that person.
A second problem with this hotness meter: “the deceiver”. You know the really good-looking person with the terribly high-pitched voice, or that guy you see lifting at the gym who can’t seem to grasp basic addition.
Personality types are crucial to how attractive someone is and can be. “Looks aren’t everything” is a cliché for a reason. Generally speaking, if someone is funny, confident, and outgoing you may be attracted to him or her regardless of his or her physical appearance. Even those with attractive possessions, hobbies and personas can draw you in more than someone who’s considered good-looking. How one carries themselves plays a giant role in the laws of attraction.
So the next time someone asks you to paint a picture of someone they are about to meet, consider telling them about who that person actually is. Because even having the right lighting and angle on a Facebook picture can’t change a person’s personality.