Fall is the perfect season to fall out of love. Plants are slowly dying. Midterms make you feel like you’re slowly dying. You might as well use this time to also write out the epitaph for your heart.

Right around the time when the leaves start changing and the weather begins to shift, some of us may be experiencing another surprising and potentially unwelcome change- getting dumped.

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With a cold autumn comes a cold heartbreak. And on that weekend when we should be carving into turkey and giving thanks for all the joys in our lives, you may actually be sobbing alone in your room listening to Simon and Garfunkel and binge-eating McDonalds.

The “turkey dump” is a phenomenon sweeping across the nation. Wiping out long distance relationships all over North America, and working to abolish the term “high school sweetheart” forever. Blatantly defined, the turkey dump is when a university or college student comes home after their month and a half of freedom and decides to put an end to their high school relationship. Come Thanksgiving weekend, many a couple will re-unite and quickly thereafter, break ties.

Now regardless of whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee, the turkey dump will take some effort to get over. You’re saying goodbye to the person you naively believed to be your soul mate on a weekend meant for celebration, that’s gotta hurt. So here are some words of encouragement to help you get through this tough time and find something new to be thankful for this holiday season.

The Dumper

So you’re planning on turkey dumping your significant other? Or should I now say insignificant other? Regardless, good on you. Working up the courage to put an end to something that once seemed promising is a difficult task.

If you find that your relationship has been growing weaker, or your wandering eye may potentially become a problem, ending the bond is a good idea.

But remember, let your partner down easy (read: an e-card is not the way to go). Getting dumped over thanksgiving dinner can’t be easily sugar-coated.

The Dumpee

So, you think you might be getting turkey dumped by your significant other? We’ve all experienced the cut and run at one point in time or another, so there’s no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed.

Dissolve your sadness in gravy and stuffing. Bask in the glory of copious amounts of food. This may be the only time in your life when emotional eating will be socially acceptable.

If you are neither the dumper or the dumpee, be thankful that this holiday season you aren’t the one falling out of love. Enjoy your dinner and send hopeful wishes to those experiencing the wrath coming from the tail end of the turkey.


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