Emma Suschkov
The Silhouette

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Okay, maybe you’re not really zombies. But the similarities are striking.

You shuffle around mechanically. You’re clumsy and you don’t seem to take any notice of the world around you. Okay, you’re not exactly walking around moaning “braaaiinns,” but, like zombies, you’re generally unresponsive to people talking to you (and most other stimuli).

I’m looking at you, walk-texters-tweeters-facebookers and whatever else you hooligans are doing on your phones when you should be focusing on the task at hand. That task is walking around with at least the dexterity of a toddler. And don’t give me that spiel about how good you are at texting while walking. You’re not. Obstructing the path of fellow human beings, that’s what you’re good at.

Being in a rush is understandable, but is that text of such immediate importance that you would risk walking head-on into people/doors/anything that doesn’t leap out of your way? If it were that important you’d be getting a phone call, not a message. So just wait until you’re not walking through a crowd to answer it, or even step out of other people’s way for a second – novel ideas!

What if, while walk-texting, you forget that you’re supposed to make sure you’re not in danger when you cross the street, and you get hit by a bus and DIE? Or a cyclist and get INJURED? Or another person and get CHASTISIZED? Are any of these horrible options worth it? Especially since, if you die in a bus accident, you increase your chances of becoming an actual zombie instead of just impersonating one in inconvenient settings.

So please, zombie-wannabes, put the phones down for a minute and return to humanity.

Best,

Irritated Emma

 

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