The Game Addict

Javier Caicedo/ Multimedia Editor

The game addict is a reclusive creature who stays for days at a time in their little cove. They owe much of their time to quests, raids, and strategizing… on the computer. They needn’t much to survive, going days at a time with a few large packs of instant noodles. The very existence of these creatures is under scrutiny, as they are only known to exist in their own carefully barricaded dwellings. There is a strong aversion to sunlight and forms of communication, which can sometimes aggravate the addict. However, most are quite docile, and other students have claimed to live with them for extended periods. They can be easily recognized by their characteristic cheeto-stained sweatpants and call: “five minutes guys”

The Perfect Gym buddy

Javier Caicedo/ Multimedia Editor

The one thing in that gym that’s equally as unfit as you are. This wonderful creature was only a danger to you maybe a freshman-fifteen ago. Not 50 pounds ahead of you on every machine, and not bad enough that you’d be embarrassed to show up to the gym with, this mythical creature is the only way you can manage to slug your way to the gym more than once every other month. The gym buddy shows no judgment at your doughy core and mediocre work ethic, which normally doesn’t heed the call of the topless gym douches it coexists with.

The De-Stressed Genius

Javier Caicedo/ Multimedia Editor

Legend speaks of the beauty so rare and solitary it has rarely been sighted with any textbooks, in any classes, or even in the library. This is the one your best friend swore he sighted a glimpse of, walking out of that killer lab two hours early. Where do they originate? Apparently there was a large import from China a while back, but the rest remain a mystery living among us. Be warned of the seemingly benign appearance of the genius, underneath is a powerful beast of untold mystics. It has immense powers almost unique to each specimen, having being sighted performing engineering and health sciences among other things. The genius’ power is dangerous to humans and is used to set up elaborate traps to catch prey. Be alert for any invites to go catch a movie three hours before a big test. If ever hunting for the de-stressed genius, they can be spotted prior to exams sporting a shocking air of confidence.

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