Everyone knows (or at least should know) the importance of foreplay. But how many people would say that they are comfortable with the art of sensual massage? And no, I’m not just talking about hand jobs here. I’m talking about full-body touching and relaxation, which may or may not lead to more extensive sexual activity.
Having a stressful day? Special anniversary? Are you with a new partner? Is your relationship on the fritz lately? Why not try jazzing it up! Massages are nice in general, so adding them to your sexual repertoire certainly couldn’t hurt.
There are several ways to execute an enjoyable massage. You can make it a big event with scented candles, body oils and sensual music.
There are a few things you should keep in mind, though. First of all, don’t mix too many strong scents at once – instead of getting someone in the mood, it could just make them nauseous.
Secondly, when using oils, you don’t want to put them directly onto your partner’s skin.
Put it on your hands first, rub your hands together to get it warm, and then work it into your partner’s skin.
Finally, this kind of massage is done best in the nude – otherwise it’s just going to get messy.
That’s the obvious way of going about a sensual massage, but don’t underestimate the value of reaching out and touching someone just while you’re stretched out on the couch together watching TV. Even with all your clothes on you can touch someone in an exciting way.
Start off with rubbing their feet and then slowly make your way up the leg. There are two very important things to remember: take your time and don’t jump right to the genitals.
This is an opportunity to pay attention to all the other areas that generally get overlooked. Slowly work on the legs, arms, ears, neck, back and scalp.
Work in a direction that will build tension toward the more erogenous zones. So if you’re working on the legs, move in an upward motion, paying special attention to the sensitive inner thigh.
If you’re working on the back, move from the shoulders down toward the buttocks.
Be sure to pay special attention to the area just above your partner’s butt because there are a lot of nerves in this area and it can be extremely sensitive and pleasurable.
Massage is a great way to build anticipation, so play around your partner’s genitals and nipples eventually, but don’t give into the temptation too quickly.
Alright, so you know that you should take your time and build the excitement, now you just need some actual massage techniques. There are many different ways to touch a person.
Light touches, when only the very tips of your fingers softly caress the skin of your partner, are going to awaken the nerves and create that tingly sensation.
Firmer touches, which can be achieved by heavier pressure through the fingers, are going to display a more sensual undertone and are likely to express your desire for the other person.
So you’ll want to start off with some very soft gentle touching and then eventually lead up to some firmer, longing strokes.
Depending on where you are working on the body and what your partner says they like, you can use different pressure through different parts of your hands. Pressure through the fingers and thumb are going to be good for working on smaller more specific muscles. If you want to cover more surface area while still providing good pressure then use the heel of your hand.
Be careful when working near boney areas and don’t go pounding on their muscles like you’re tenderizing a piece of meat. You want to relax and seduce them, not prep them for the BBQ.
You don’t want to bruise your partner or seriously injure them.
Remember, you’re not a professional so don’t go trying to fixing things or mess around with their spine.
Communication is very important here, so frequently check with your partner to make sure that your pressure is good and that they like what you’re doing.
Here are some of the most basic techniques you can use.
Circular motions – whether they are tiny or big, soft or hard, circles are a very effective form of touching.
Stroking – use the entire surface of your hand and do large continuous strokes while maintaining constant contact with your partner, this should be a very fluid motion.
Petrissage – lightly grab the muscles and move them in a lifting motion.
Vibration – press your fingers firmly on a muscle and then gently but rapidly shake the area.
And finally tapotement – with your fingers slightly apart, do a gentle chopping motion or tapping strokes.
By far the best and easiest way to learn massage is to watch it, and then practice. There are many videos on the internet that can give you great tips and techniques for how to massage your partner.
A massage is a great way to build up excitement for more intensive sexual activity. It is also great for relationship building, working on communication and a fantastic way to show how comfortable you are with each other.
And, it’s something new and exciting to bring to the bedroom.
Bottom line: being touched feels good, but being touched? Well, it feels even better.