Labels are for soup cans

JOY SANTIAGO / MULTIMEDIA EDITOR

Chantal Cino 

The Silhouette

Labels. Everyone seems to be obsessed with them. Society desires easy and simple categories when it comes to describing our world. Naturally, this includes people. And since people’s sexualities are one of the most complex things about them, we want to simplify those most of all.

And this seems to work, on the surface at least. But for many people, the standard labels of gay, straight, lesbian or any of the other titles on the growing list of sexualities neglect to truly represent their bearer’s complexity. While these labels can be helpful for people in constructing their personal identities, they are also extremely limiting for those whose desires do not always fall in line with their strict definitions.

Take a straight person for example. By definition, they should be solely attracted to the opposite sex. But what if once and a while someone of the same sex catches their eye? What if they decide to pursue this interest? What if a relationship develops?

Now, the straight people around them will immediately demand an explanation, and the answer they are likely looking for is that this person was never really straight to begin with. On the other hand, their gay friends may see this as simply another straight experiment and dismiss it as inauthentic.

But what if this person still identifies as straight, which will confuse these straight friends, but they also have true feelings for this new person they are dating, which these gay friends may not be willing to accept. Suddenly, the skin they always felt comfortable in is constricting. What do they call themselves now? Straight with a dash of gay? Bisexual (which, though debated by many, is a completely legitimate sexuality)?

However, the real question is: Why should they be forced to change their identity at all? Here is the problem at the heart of the labels issue: the categories enforced by this practice do not allow for variation in romantic choices.

The solution? It could be the popular model proposed by the Kinsey Scale. It is likely that you are familiar with the term, but not quite clear on what exactly it is. Essentially, the Kinsey Scale rates sexuality on a scale as opposed to a category, such that a score of zero reflects exclusive heterosexuality, six reflects exclusive homosexuality, and anyone falling in between can choose whatever number suits them best.

However, the issue with this method is that there is no simple label for every score. What really needs to be understood is that a label is never set in stone. It doesn’t define a person for life. It’s not as if your birth certificate includes a sexuality section to which you can never make changes.

So you’ve always dated men, but you’ve fallen for an adorable girl? Go for it! The other way around? Why not! Maybe you like to dabble in both genders. Whatever works for you is fine.

The moral of the story: while most people may hate being confused about the sexualities of others, sometimes it needs to be understood that you will not always completely understand.

We, as a society, need to learn to be okay with this. When it comes down to it, what we should really want for other people is happiness, not for them to go out of their way to appease the limited ability of others to relate to their situation.