Photo C/O Nathan Dumlao
By Adrianna Michell (Features Reporter), Lauren O’Donnell (Arts and Culture Reporter) and Maxwell Price
What is your favourite class in school?
Photo C/O Liam Truong
What is your preferred dating app?
Photo C/O Marjan Grabowski
Your friends describe your sex life as:
Photo c/o Samuele Giglio
How often do you wash your sheets?
Photo C/O Justine Camacho
What Hogwarts character were you most attracted to?
Photo C/O Mitchell Luo
What’s your go-to drink?
Photo C/O Artem Maltsev
What’s your ideal first date?
Photo C/O Ryan Moulton
What Hogwarts House are you based on your sex life?
Ravenclaws have read the Kama Sutra 10 times and know exactly where the anatomical G-spot is. On the other hand, they can be a little too analytical and over-analyze details about your dates, spending hours dissecting exactly what that “k” text meant. Ravenclaws wonder why their relationships don’t work out when they’re too busy on a coffee-fueled essay bender at 3am to text their boo back. Its ok, unlike Gryffindors, there is hope for Ravenclaws.
As the bravest and most adventurous house of all, Gryffindors usually get a lot of right-swipes on Tinder and are never afraid to triple-text a crush. Gryffindor sexual partners likely haven’t washed their sheets since winter break when their moms did their laundry. If mayonnaise was a person, it would be a Gryffindor. Gryffindors are most likely to post on Spotted at Mac about their relationship.
Slytherin’s are a snake in the streets but a lover in the sheets. Slytherin’s have a reputation for being evil and cunning, but we all know that J.K.Rowling is biased against this house. Slytherin’s may seem cool and capricious, but once they’re committed they’ll do anything for their partner(s). This house is all about the tall, dark and handsome ride-or-die type. Someone give Tom Riddle my number.
Hufflepuff is the house we should all strive to be in. They are the kindest and best communicators when it comes to sex and relationships. They are the most likely to be in long-term relationships and enjoy stability in their romantic lives. Hufflepuff sexual partners aren’t very adventurous, but they are always attentive to their partner(s). Who cares if they cry anytime you have a minor disagreement? So what if they need constant validation on a daily, hourly, minute-to-minute basis? They aren’t crying you are.