Dear Unshaven Faces . . .

By: Arnav Agarwal

Dear Unshaven Faces,

I know what you’re thinking; they just don’t seem to understand. You’re walking to the Health Science Library, to DeGroote School of Business or to the Student Centre, and can’t help but notices clean-shaven faces gazing at you as they walk by, their eyes peeled at the scruff sprouting about your face as you walk a little further. How easy it must be to rock a moustache, they probably think. Overhyped, right?

Wrong. The challenges that come up with the no-shave “Movember” are easy to play down when you’re not growing the peach fuzz all over your visage. But have no fear, comrades. If you’re in quite the tangle dealing with your mid-November crisis, you’re not alone.

Consider the following. The average student shaves twice a week or so. November covers more than four entire weeks. Tell the next clean-shaven face to multiply the amount of facial hair that starts getting on their nerves every three to four days by at least eight. If you’re feeling scruffy, you’re certainly on the right track to celebrating the festivities of the month. Throw in the moans and groans as a thickening moustache starts getting prickly on the inexperienced, and you’re definitely encountering the typical Movember-stricken experience.

Most students can attest to the fact that the highlight of their day is taking a break from their textbooks for a little social time or to grab a meal. Universities have been smart on catching on as well; they’ve packed themselves with pleasure foods to quench the hunger pangs while bringing in stacks upon stacks in revenue. The majority of Movember endorsers aren’t typically heavy moustache growers, but bushy hair growth doesn’t make eating very easy. Now, we have to deal with both the high prices and the trouble of ensuring we aren’t feeding our moustaches while we’re at it. What’s more, some would argue the contrary: what could possibly be a better storage place for those late-night emergencies when hunger pangs really kick in? Yes, I went there.

So, what should you keep in mind this month? A few things. First: you’ve embarked on a challenging journey, so be proud of it. Moustaches and facial fuzz are not easy feats, and don’t let clean-shaven faces convince you otherwise. Second: the Movember experience isn’t easy, but it’s definitely rewarding. Convince them into donating if you’re raising money for prostate cancer awareness, male mental health initiatives or another cause, or coerce them into buying you a free meal to help you through that mid-November crisis. And third: take the next stare you get as an opportunity to twitch your moustache and let the clean-shaved faces know they’re being watched from behind those curtains of hair too.

Yours Truly,

Bearded and Proud