You are human bromodosis. You are the guy who pees in the urinal right next to mine despite there being other empty urinals. You are the opposite of Robert Downey Jr.
All joking aside, you are the worst.
Every year I tell myself that I shouldn’t hold you to such a high standard – after all, Halloween was pretty amazing this year, especially with all the Miley Cyrus costumes parading around. But here you go again, proving me wrong year after year.
In my work-induced fits of anger, I’ve come to realize that I hate you because you’re an incredible tease. The weather is too cold for fall fashion but too warm for winter wear. Sometimes it looks like you might unleash some snow, but instead you either let the rain drizzle or sprinkle us with some hail.
And then there’s what you do to me and my relationship with school, or lack thereof. With exams around the corner, I should be looking into studying, but instead I am clobbered by a wave of assignments and projects. This in turn means I’m spending an awful (correction: deathly tragic) amount of my time in the library, where I can gaze out the window at 6 p.m. to let my mind innocently wander… only to see nothing but a pitch black sheet of doom. I don’t understand the trade of one extra hour for what seems like an eternity of darkness.
Sometimes I decide to head over to Starbucks, where Christmas drinks are back and maybe the baristas will comfort me with their recommendation to enjoy a sweet today, to which I always say yes. At the end of my drink, however, I’m really just reminded that it’s November, and alas, these red cups are a part of the teasing nature of this dreadful month.
I’ve also had to retire my bike because it’s too cold, so now I have to walk like a caveman. In my walks, often marked by philosophical musings, I get to see just how drab the world around me is. Most of the leaves have fallen off the trees and the colourful fall hues have all faded to a monotonous grey.
Maybe I’m not giving you enough credit, November. After all, it’s through collective complaints about you that I have bonded with many friends. Nothing like some good ol’ fashioned talking behind a month’s back to bring us all together.
I would love to talk more about how awful you are, but I have a paper to hand in tonight. Thanks for that.
Feel free to leave whenever your cold heart desires,
A struggling student