Celebrate Valentine's
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Valentine’s Day used to be a big deal back in my elementary school. My classmates and I would get an entire period on Feb. 13 to decorate our brown paper bags, garnishing them with pink hearts, red roses, and all the glitter we could find. At home, I would spend the evening working on Valentine cards for my friends, filling in the “To:” and “From:” lines with ardent determination.
But these days are long gone. What used to be a sweet holiday rooted in celebrating love between people has soured with age. Now, many couples feel a need to make Valentine’s Day a big deal. Those who are single experience the same, but in an “anti-love,” “pro-I’m-just-going-to-watch-The Notebook-and-drink-copious-amounts-of-wine” manner. The effort we used to spend making valentines is now spent on booking reservations for dinner with our significant other, or spent wallowing in our singleness. Of course, this is a generalization. Most people do not consume Valentine’s Day in excess. But those who do have made it into a nightmare that festers with stuffed animals and sad people – an unbearable day for most.
At the epicentre of a hurricane of Cupid’s arrows and prix fixe menus, many couples feel pressured to make Valentine’s a big day. Otherwise it seems to suggest that something is missing in their relationship. Perhaps they aren’t into each other enough, or maybe things aren’t as serious as they think. It is conventional to give each other gifts and go on fancy dinners, despite the ridiculous inflation of prices. Everywhere you go will be filled with people; it’s ironic that, on a night meant to celebrate the intimacy between two people, you must do so in places where throngs of other couples are attempting the same feat.
Making each other feel special is something that can be done on any day of the year, not just because Hallmark or the calendar told you to do so. In fact, it can be done in the simplest of gestures. You can find Valentine’s Day in remembering your boyfriend’s favourite kind of donut at Tim Hortons, or by surprising your girlfriend with a cup of coffee while she’s studying. It doesn’t take much, and it certainly does not have to be on a designated day of the year.
Similar pressures fall upon you if you’re single. You are persuaded to release the intense hatred against couples that has been harboured all year long. It is a day that encourages you to wallow in your loneliness, to eat your feelings away. Since the start of the month, I have received countless invitations to events cursing cupid, thrashing love, and glorifying the single status.
I have friends who invite me over to watch romantic films and talk about past relationships. Although these are often gatherings organized in good fun, those who truly do feel lonely on Valentine’s Day should remember that couples do not miraculously form on the fourteenth of February every year. They’ve been together every day before that. Why choose this arbitrary day to feel the effects of loneliness? You were comfortable with yourself every other day, and a day when couples celebrate themselves does not mean you have to glorify your singleness as some form of empowerment. Being comfortable in your shoes is empowerment enough – you need not provide this skewed form of validation for anyone.
This Valentine’s Day, it doesn’t matter whether you’re in a relationship, single, or anywhere in between. Don’t let society pressure you into glorifying your relationship status. Doing so distorts the beauty in loving relationships, and belittles what it means to be single. Those who are annoyed by this day need to treat it as any other. Though the fourteenth of February is central to romantic love, it is really an opportunity to celebrate love in any form. Perhaps this year, spend some time writing valentines for your friends, family, and even for yourself.
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