The festival is laying the foundation for continuing community and creativity
Creativity and community often go hand in hand. Creativity can help to bring communities together and a sense of community can also help foster creativity. It’s the connection between these two concepts that help to make initiatives such as the Hamilton Black Film Festival possible.
The Hamilton Black Film Festival was founded by author and filmmaker Paize Usiosefe. Usiosefe produced and directed Family and Friends and Yakubu. In 2019, he attended the Toronto International Film Festival as an industry delegate.
Returning to Hamilton after the festival, Usiosefe started to think about his next project and began to develop the idea for what would become the Hamilton Black Film Festival.
On its own, Black films are incredibly important because they are a reminder of presence. They can help Black individuals feel seen as well as foster a sense of community and belonging.
However, festivals such as the Hamilton Black Film Festival are even more important because they carry all the aforementioned ideas forward and create a space for communities and their creativity to occupy.
“Over the years I have been to many festivals. Sometimes I’m there [and] I’m the only Black person in the room. I was thinking about all this. How can we do something where we have the freedom to go there and be happy with your craft? With what you are doing, your artistic creation? Where can you exhibit and say, “This is my place” and “These are my people” and have the confidence to do it,” explained Usiosefe.
How can we do something where we have the freedom to go there and be happy with your craft? With what you are doing, your artistic creation? Where can you exhibit and say, “This is my place” and “These are my people” and have the confidence to do it,” explained Usiosefe.
Preparations are well under way for the festival which will take place May 28–30, 2021, though whether it will be in person at The Westdale or a virtual event will be determined by public health recommendations closer to the date.
The film festival has been very much a community project, involving a team of dedicated and passionate individuals.
Other community organizations have also come together to support the initiative, including The Westdale and the Lincoln Alexander Centre. Including the larger Hamilton community is particularly important to Usiosefe.
“We want to get everyone involved. This is not just about Black people, it’s not just about people of colour. We are using this to bring everyone together,” said Usiosefe.
“We want to get everyone involved. This is not just about Black people, it’s not just about people of colour. We are using this to bring everyone together,”
Usiosefe also hopes the festival will highlight how much the Black community in Hamilton has accomplished.
“What we want people to take away after the festival is [for them] to see how far we have come [and] how we have come together,” explained Usiosefe.
He also hopes that the festival will raise awareness about the Black community’s creativity and their potential, especially that of the younger generation. Usiosefe strongly believes that students have an important part to play in carrying the festival forward.
“We recommend our students join us because they are going to play a vital role in what we are doing, The society is shifting. This is a new generation and people see things differently,” said Usiosefe.
“We recommend our students join us because they are going to play a vital role in what we are doing, The society is shifting. This is a new generation and people see things differently,”
Usiosefe has plans for the festival to continue as an annual event and hopes it will eventually be recognized with the same regard as other film festivals, such TIFF.
In their preparations for this year’s inaugural festival, Usiosefe and his team have laid a strong foundation, carving out a space for the Black community and their art as well as creating an opportunity for the larger Hamilton community to come together.
Seven clubs that are leading the foundation for change at McMaster
C/O @bapmac
In response to the resurgence of Black Lives Matter movement in 2020, new clubs focused on Black, Indigenous and People of Colour were introduced to McMaster University. They have tried to foster community, break down barriers and create space for important conversations.
These clubs, run by BIPOC students for BIPOC students, are working tirelessly toward fulfilling student needs and establish spaces necessary for students to flourish, receive support and form valuable relationships.
“The reason why I am part of these clubs is because I want to do whatever I can to best support the Black community. Because oftentimes a major issue is just lack of information. People aren't aware of these opportunities. In being in these roles, we're able to share different opportunities with the people who are part of our club . . . and just keeping them tapped in because that's really important. Overall, [I am] just looking for ways to support the community in whatever capacity that I can. That's why I'm involved in these clubs,” said Anu Popoola, a second-year student involved in the Black Student Mentorship Program and Black Aspiring Physicians McMaster.
“The reason why I am part of these clubs is because I want to do whatever I can to best support the Black community. Because oftentimes a major issue is just lack of information. People aren't aware of these opportunities."
Executives and members of these groups have already made a significant change, however, this is just the beginning, as Sammi Yahya explained, a second-year student who is part of the McMaster Muslim Students’ Association’s Anti-Racism Racism Committee and Black BHSc Student Association. They will continue to set far-reaching goals and advocate for their community.
“This can't be this can be the end, we can't just fall off the wagon once all this buzz dies down. I just really hope that even as time passes and the impact of the BLM movement and all of that becomes distant, hopefully the passion never dies out, and we continue to make steps towards equity, inclusion and diversity, not only within [health sciences], but within the McMaster community and beyond,” said Yahya.
Whether you are a Black Muslim student, Black first-year student seeking mentorship or 2STLGBQIA+ BIPOC student looking for a community with similar intersectional experiences, there may be a community waiting for you. Here are seven new and existing BIPOC-focused clubs and the work they are currently doing to promote change.
Canadian Black Nurses Alliance McMaster
A McMaster chapter of Canadian Black Nurses Alliance (CBNA) was introduced this year to promote community within Black nursing students and inspire Black students with an interest in healthcare and nursing leadership. However, the club is also open to other students of colour.
Previously, the group has hosted events such as Black voices in healthcare institutions, new graduate nursing student panels and resources night for exams. They also run an anonymous online forum where students can share their experiences of microaggressions or discrimination and receive advice and support from other Black nursing students.
Queer and Trans Colour Club
The Queer and Trans Colour Club is a club dedicated to fostering community building within LGBTQ+ identifying BIPOC students at McMaster. They host 2SLGBTQIA+ identifying BIPOC exclusive socials, discussion panels and other events, including collaboration projects with other clubs on campus, such as a poetry slam night. From Feb. 21 to 27, they are holding an aromantic spectrum awareness week to debunk stereotypes and myths and spark conversation on being aromantic.
McMaster Muslim Students’ Association: Anti-Black Racism Committee
The Anti-Black Racism Committee of McMaster Muslim Students’ Association is a new committee of the club. The committee primarily focuses on welcoming Black students into the group and promoting a sense of community within Black Muslim students on campus through various events.
In the past, the group has hosted socials such as Black Muslim Jeopardy night and Speed Friending. Currently, they are working with the Equity and Inclusion Office to make reporting incidents of discrimination more accessible.
“It’s really easy to just brush off [experiences of discrmination] or microaggression, and a lot of people think they can’t report this stuff when you can,” explained Yahya, one of the executives on the Anti-Black Racism Committee.
Yahya hopes that through the committee’s work, more students will know about the tools and resources they can use to speak up against racial discrimination.
Black Student Mentorship Program
The Black Student Mentorship Program is a new initiative in which Black first-year students are paired with a Black upper-year student, Black upper-year students are paired with a Black graduate student and Black graduate students are paired with a Black faculty member.
A pilot version of this program ran last year with about 10 first-year students, but it has now expanded to over 60 first-year students in the program. It currently offers both one-to-one and group mentoring.
The mentors provide guidance and advice on academics, navigating school and finding opportunities and resources for professional pursuits. Most of the events this year have been geared towards first-year students to help them connect during times of online and at-home learning.
However, they are also planning events with the African Caribbean Faculty Association of McMaster to help both mentees and mentors of the program socialize and develop themselves professionally.
Popoola, a second-year student who was part of the pilot program last year as a mentee, is now currently an executive member of the program.
“We've really created a space in which the first years are able to share their experiences and bring up concerns about things that happened in their classrooms. It's been really rewarding just seeing that we're able to impact them, even if it's in the smallest way,” said Popoola.
Black BHSc Association
Following the death of George Floyd, Black health sciences students came together to support each other and share experiences of microaggressions and racism. They also discussed changes they wanted to see within the program and McMaster. These discussions led to the formation of Black BHSc Association with the aim to increase equity, inclusion and diversity in the health sciences program.
One of the most exciting changes brought on by the club is Equitable Admissions for Black Applicants. It is an optional application stream for Black applicants which allows their supplementary applications to get reviewed by other Black students, alumni and faculty of the program in order to eliminate conscious and unconscious bias in the application review process. Currently, Black identifying students make up less than two per cent of the bachelor of health sciences population.
“It's not going to be easier to get [into the program] which is very, very important for people to understand, but it just pushes down or breaks down some of the boundaries that might stand in the way of Black students coming in,” said Yahya, president of BBA.
Another goal of BBA is to reach out to Black high school students who have an interest in the program and show them pathways in academia, healthcare and medicine. They have already received great response and excitement from their application info nights.
“It's not only about helping current Black BHSc students or prospective Black BHSc students, it's about going all the way to the roots . . . . [Black students might not be getting in] maybe because not as many people are applying, but it’s also because maybe they're not getting the opportunities to even go to university . . . or not knowing what university is about and just opting for college,” explained Yahya.
Blackspace
The main objective of Blackspace is to empower Black women in the classroom and the Hamilton community and enable them to collaborate and gain access to opportunities both at and outside of McMaster. The club was founded because there weren’t many spaces for Black women students to connect on campus.
This year, the club has focused on professional development with events and workshops featuring professionals from humanities, business, sciences, math and other fields. They spoke on the experiences of breaking into these fields as Black women and shared advice. Every Monday, the club also hosts an Instagram live series called Moscato Monday where they discuss current events.
On March 6, they are organizing an event with different Black companies and small businesses from McMaster and Hamilton who will speak about entrepreneurship and what it means to be a Black entrepreneur. There will also be more networking events coming up in March.
“I’ve never really interacted with many of the clubs on campus, let alone a Black club. I wasn’t even aware of half of their existences until I got to third year, which was last year . . . [Through Blackspace I have had] not only the opportunity to help people with what I couldn’t do, but also help myself while learning about all of these opportunities that I would’ve had to dig for otherwise,” explained Makena Githinji, the current co-president of Blackspace.
Black Aspiring Physicians of McMaster
Black Aspiring Physicians of McMaster aim to support Black students in their pursuits to enter a career in healthcare. They host events such as MCAT and MMI prep nights, research info nights and the iRise conference. In March, they are planning an event with the Indigenous Health Movement at McMaster which will feature healthcare leaders and BIPOC student advocates in a panel discussion.
Outside of events, they also have a YouTube channel where you find webinars on topics related to healthcare and interviews with guest speakers. Additionally, the club has a mentorship program to pair students interested in medicine with a medical student.
By: Esther Liu, Contributor
Please introduce yourself!
My name is Michael Abraham. I am 27 years old. I graduated from McMaster University with a BSW, so [an] honours bachelor of social work in 2017. In general, right now, most of my work is involved in two spheres: running a youth center in downtown Hamilton and working as a graduation coach in the [Hamilton-Wentworth District School Board].
How has COVID-19 affected the SPACE?
Running a youth center is the business of social interaction and engagement. Before COVID, we would have anywhere from 50 to 80 participants a night or even more depending on if there was an event or dinner. Once the lockdown had hit back in March [2020], we had to shut down for a brief hiatus, for around six months.
When we returned in September, we had to really think through how we were going to reopen the SPACE and in what capacity we could possibly do that. What we had chosen at that time was to do closed pre-registered drop-in programming. So there'd be one program for three days during which we were open — Wednesday, Thursday, Friday — and there'd be a maximum of 10 youth that could attend said program.
One day could be Aux Cord Shuffle, another day could be our queer and trans youth programming, another day could be another program. So when that set cohort did their program for that day, once that program was done, they essentially had the entire space themselves, which we were hoping would be an added benefit to those individuals to still also exist in the SPACE because it may not be cool to be chilling at home, things may be not as safe or there are lots of situations with housing and stuff that youth have complexities around. We were able to do that from September until November.
Unfortunately, December was when things were intensifying so we had to really adjust and pivot towards online programming. I purchased a Zoom account and then we're now just doing two online programs a week, one being digital drop-in which there are various different activities or different concepts from other programs we've done . . . Right now, it's been going really well, we were kind of nervous, we didn't really know how it would go.
But, youth are really engaged and oftentimes, the programs go over the one hour that we schedule them as. We also want to make sure that we're not having youth stuck on their computer for an exuberant amount of time.
What are your favourite elements of the SPACE outside of the programming?
One of my favourite aspects of the SPACE is creating a sense of belonging for marginalized and racialized youth . . . A beautiful facet of the youth center is that we want to make it a space in which people can be their full selves, people can unpack things, can unlearn, can navigate some of their pain and trauma. We can all collectively carry the weight of that together.
That's really led into beautiful moments of sharing space with one another, being there for one another and building healthy relationships, even building chosen families outside of people's individual families. In a general way, being a dope spot where people can safely just grow up and have fun, kick it and do dumb safe stuff, and also have opportunities to really grow and develop and be the best version of yourself that you can be.
Could you elaborate on your work for the HWDSB?
The graduation program is a new pilot project initiative started in my partnership with the ministry on a provincial level and the HWDSB on a specific regional space for Hamilton. The title of the role is graduation coach for Black students because the work is specific and focused on Black youth. I am located at Westdale Secondary School, whereas my partner in crime, Chad McPherson, is at Bernie Custis Secondary School.
In general terms, what we do is support and provide opportunities for growth and mentorship for Black students, meeting their academic things and supporting them in overcoming their academic barriers, but also and maybe even more importantly, is having a stake or value in their personal development and growth. We definitely find that when a student is doing well or is set up for success with their personal development, the school follows as well.
What's your favourite part about this role?
A lot of the way in which I do my work and exist in the youth center definitely overlaps [with this role]. My absolute favourite parts are directly engaging and connecting with Black students. I think so much of my own educational experience had such a lack of seeing myself reflected in the administration or reflected in mentors or people I can trust.
I'm really trying my best to fit that in some way for students. So, my best hope is to build trust and rapport with the students I'm linked up with. It's super dope connecting with students and hearing where they're at, hearing some of their own thoughts and knowledge.
The stuff that young people are talking about now is way ahead of what I was thinking about at that age. A lot of the things that students who are 15, 16, are talking about now, I didn't learn that stuff until I was in first, second year of university. So it's super hype seeing the growth and level up of the next generation.
What are you envisioning for the future of this program?
Big visions of having graduation coaches at each high school, at elementary schools. I think a continual buy-in and accountability to the process of creating more spaces of healing, more spaces of racialized youth feeling that they have places to belong and be able to be a part of the system's processes. So being able to provide feedback, being able to say that "Hey, this happened and it was wrong and it needs to change" and seeing those things be done in real-time.
Could you talk a little bit more about your involvement in the general Hamilton community?
In the general Hamilton community, lots of like small and larger pieces of being involved with justice endeavours. I think that's always going to be a facet in some way that I'm always going to care about. I think the foundation of all these pieces comes from hip hop, from that dance culture in that breaking sprang forth from a direct response to the oppression that Black and Latino youth were feeling in the Bronx at that time.
So, it's definitely a continual speaking back to systems and speaking back to "Yo, this isn't okay." I think a lot of that also ties to the work at the youth center. Beyond those small pieces of activism when I have the capacity and time to be able to be involved, I also teach breaking at a dance studio on the mountain called DMD, which is Defining Movement Dance. That's also a really dope opportunity for me to share my love of movement and dancing and making sure that the young'uns are getting the proper knowledge and tips around breaking and the history.
How an online dating initiative offered Mac students a chance at love. Kind of.
C/O Dan Gold
As Reading Week came to a close, we also experienced everyone’s least favourite holiday: Valentine’s Day. I am just joking, of course. After all, what is not to love about enviously eyeing a happy couple as you munch on your discounted Valentine’s chocolates and revel in your own loneliness?
Despite the seemingly impossible odds, it turns out that love is indeed in the air for both our single and “it's complicated” McMaster University students after all.
The Aphrodite Project, named after the ancient Greek goddess of love and beauty, has made its debut to hundreds of hopelessly romantic McMaster students.
This mainly experimental and student-led initiative matches you to an algorithmically perfect soulmate or to a platonic friend if you so wish. This left me thinking about an interesting question regarding this project on our campus: will the Aphrodite Project be successful?
This left me thinking about an interesting question regarding this project on our campus: will the Aphrodite Project be successful?
On one hand, this opportunity seems harmless and too good to pass up, but on the flip side, there is the possibility of facing cold, hard disappointment. Personally, I hold the latter view, given my ever-growing disenchantment with online dating apps despite the current situation of students’ social lives.
The Aphrodite Project at McMaster was doomed to begin with given the uneven ratio of the sexes that have signed up, as well as how it did not play out as planned among other larger universities which even led to students even organizing their “post-Aphrodite project” dating profiles using other platforms.
So far, the student opinion regarding this initiative resembles the time-tested issues that are common with online dating in general. The Aphrodite Project, or otherwise presented at McMaster as “Match at Mac,” claims to use a Nobel Prize-winning algorithm, which happens to be the exact same algorithm already being used in other existing dating platforms such as Tinder: the Gale-Shapley algorithm for predicting stable marriages.
However, there is a reason why all modern online love stories have not necessarily ended in long-term happiness in real life. The Gale-Shapley algorithm is proven to be heavily biased in favour of one sex over the other with the flip of a couple of variables but traditionally remains male-favoured as originally programmed.
The algorithm envisions a scenario where one sex is “married” to their top choice of partner, whereas that chosen partner is “married” to their last choice, proving its clear bias depending on how the algorithm was initially set up.
While the Aphrodite Project has not shared the specifics of its match-making technology for one to assess the exact impacts on the majority of the dating population, the outcome could not have been optimal at Mac given the noticeably high female participation rate compared to male.
[#1078] Any single heterosexual guys out there looking for some love? The aphrodite project closes tonight and there are...
Posted by Mac Confessions on Monday, February 8, 2021
Students were destined to lose out either way as the variables needed for projects like this were already skewed and do not foster an environment for the algorithm to have worked to its full potential.
Thus, the clickbait of the Nobel prize-winning algorithm was slightly misleading and perhaps raised the hopes of many a love-lorn Mac student too soon.
I believe a further inherent problem behind such initiatives is that it gives whatever matches were made what seems like an already established connection. That way, participants feel even more disappointed going into interactions with their matches when enthusiasm is not reciprocated.
Regardless of its flaws, the Aphrodite Project provided an opportunity of light-hearted fun and possible love for Mac students stuck at home, which if anything, brought a smile to our faces in these dark times. If you did not find your soulmate through Mac’s Aphrodite Project, fear not, as a world of romance awaits you once our sexy campus is up and running again.
By: Esther Liu, Contributor
Morghen Jael is a third-year arts and science student who has been in a relationship with her boyfriend, Zooey, for two years.
The Silhouette: Are you living together or in a long-distance relationship?
Morghen Jael: We do not share a lease but he is living full-time at my house. So he has a student house in Westdale that he has a lease with. But because of the pandemic and because he actually has an immuno-compromised housemate at that student house, he decided to just move in full-time with me here because we didn't want to worry about him switching back and forth and exposing all of us to double the amount of people.
So yeah, we technically live together even though that wasn't what I was planning for at this stage of the relationship. It feels kind of soon for full-time living together, but that's what it is and it's been working.
What are the pros and cons of living together?
The pros were that we would get to see each other. Otherwise, we kind of felt like, at the beginning of the pandemic, it was one extreme or the other, so he's either going to stay or we're going to be apart.
So it felt like we had to make that choice and it was almost a no-brainer: we're going to choose to be together. We love each other's company, we're part of each other's daily lives in so many ways, so let's just get together physically—we can do it.
It was great to have support 24/7 [because] it was stressful with the pandemic [and] it's also just a stressful life period of my life. I just started medication for my anxiety actually, right at the onset of the pandemic . . . That was a really big paradigm shift in my life, so it was actually great to have Zooey there for those first few months of adjusting to my medication and also just adjusting to the pandemic.
So I think for both of us it helps to have the other one around. People talk about loneliness during the pandemic and I think we never had that problem because we had each other. We're really great friends in addition to being boyfriend and girlfriend, so we get along really well, we're good at coming up with things to do.
One of the cons of moving in together full-time was the lack of privacy. I think I felt this more than him, just different people that we are. I like to have a little more time alone in my own space, having solo dance parties in my room to let off steam to kind of retreat into my own world. So lack of privacy was something that we both dealt with.
Even just physical privacy — we have been sleeping in the same bed now for all these months. He'd come over to sleep before, but not night after night. That took some adjusting. I'm not gonna have my physical space all to myself anymore: how can I maintain my bodily integrity, how can I stand up for myself? I'm like: "Okay, this is too much snuggling, I need to go for a walk."
Could you elaborate on how you've been maintaining your relationship?
We have been making sure to take the little bit of personal space that we can. I think that's been really helpful in making sure that we can still tolerate each other when we're together. So we've been going for solo walks. At least once a day, each of us goes for a walk alone . . . Also, on the opposite end of the spectrum, we've been doing dates and stuff.
Every time a monthly anniversary comes up, we'll either order in some food or cook some food and then we'll make it as special as it can be inside my bedroom. So we'll have some music, have a glass of wine and try to replicate a date scenario so it feels like we're still dating [and] not just roommates.
How has your relationship grown because of COVID-19?
I think the pandemic may have helped me to become more honest about my physical needs, like a little more literate, even. I remember using euphemisms to talk about sex or body parts or body functions. In the first year or so, I was kind of like "Oh, I can't tell him about this health problem" because I was a little embarrassed or I didn't know what words to use.
But now we've been thinking about our physical health a bit more. We've been in a closer space so we see each other's bodies more and I'm getting more comfortable being like "Okay, I have a yeast infection." But I'm at the point now where I could tell him that I have this physical problem, here's how you can support me, but you don't need to know everything and I got it. So yeah, I think that's been kind of an added dimension and I think that's also just both of us maturing as people.
Do you have any additional comments?
I just think there are lots of different love stories during the pandemic. Love and sex because sex is definitely an important dimension of this that isn't necessarily coupled with love . . . It's important to remember that romantic love is not the end-all and be-all. People are exploring friendships, deep and new friendships, or their sex lives, their own personal sexuality.
Oh, here's something else: I bought a vibrator for the first time during the pandemic. So I was experimenting with a vibrator. It's been kind of fun to let Zooey try it too, not for himself but on me, and that also goes with becoming more comfortable with my body, with talking about my body and his body. So anyway, I'm just saying that there are all different types of sex and love stories going on in people's lives.
A guide to a cozy, stay-at-home date night
By: Tracy Huynh, Contributor
While you may not be able to be physically with your loved ones, there are still memorable ways to connect from the comfort of your own home. Whether you’re in a relationship, celebrating with friends or embracing self-love, we’ve got you covered. Here are eight ways to spread the love — and not the virus!
What better way to spend date night than by making art with (and potentially for) a loved one! Grab some paint and follow along with an online class or Bob Ross tutorial. You can also get a pottery painting kit from Play with Clay Hamilton or a cookie painting kit from Cake and Loaf by curbside pickup or delivery.
Light some candles and get glammed up or put on your comfiest set of PJs for a romantic dinner over Zoom. For a bit of a twist, order each other’s meals so that whatever comes to your doorstep will be a surprise.
3. Get out into nature
Tired of screens? Go for a walk while on a call with your significant other or bestie. It’s a great way to get some exercise and enjoy some conversation. If you’re in Hamilton, Cootes Paradise and its picturesque trails are a great option!
Explore an exhibit, talk about your favourite pieces and learn something new. Check out these virtual tours of iconic Hamilton museums including Dundurn Castle, Whitehern Historic House and the Hamilton Museum of Steam and Technology. You can also find virtual tours of world-class museums like the Louvre, NASA museum and the Smithsonian!
Connect with your partner musically by having a virtual jam session. If you’re feeling extra creative, you could even turn it into a songwriting night. Even if you’re not musically gifted, anyone can sing karaoke!
Escape into a virtual world with games like Animal Crossing and Minecraft or unleash your competitive spirit with classic games like chess and Battleship. Want to see how you work as a team under stress? Try a virtual escape room.
Find a script of your favourite movie or a random play and be over-the-top silly! If you’ve got a knack for impressions, this is your chance to get a few laughs out of your partner.
This card game gives you conversation prompts to get past the small talk and learn more about your partner. For a free alternative, you can find similar prompts on this website.
Students reflect on the importance of sex education both before and during university
Growing up, I took a lot of art lessons. I remember one class our teacher brought out a rickety, old, wooden chair from the back room and put it on top of her desk. The chair would be the focus for this lesson, she explained, but we weren’t going to draw it.
We were going to draw everything around it — the desk it was standing on, the wall behind it and all the papers tacked to it, just not the chair.
Sex education is often defined in the same way: in terms of everything that it isn’t. This is especially true of sex education in schools. Long since a controversial topic, the debate around the content of sex education in schools often revolves around the negatives, that is, what shouldn’t be featured or what isn’t.
However, though the emphasis is typically put on sex education in schools, it is also worth noting that education doesn’t end in an institution. We’re also educated, implicitly or explicitly through our culture, our experiences, our families, the media we consume, our religion and many more places. Education happens everywhere.
It also happens in the negative space left behind and what we don’t say or do is just as important as what we do.
It also happens in the negative space left behind and what we don’t say or do is just as important as what we do.
“It's kind of like cultural conditioning. Whatever you're conditioned to do at home, you're going to do outside of the home as well. So if at home, you're taught to be embarrassed about menstruation, about sex, you're going to project that once you leave home as well. It's hard to unlearn things, especially when they've been culturally inherited because that's just all you've known,” said third-year student Japleen Thind.
“I come from a culture that doesn’t really value sex education. This is a very dangerous mindset . . . it caused me to have the wrong idea about sex education and it caused me a lot of trouble,” explained fourth-year student Shae-Ashleigh Owen.
In my conversation with students, there was a very clear distinction between their experiences and thoughts about sex education before and after coming to university.
Before University
Before coming to university, most students described sex education as something that happened almost exclusively in schools. For many students, it happened with male and female students having separate discussions, often in entirely different rooms.
“When I think back to my experiences, I remember any time that boys and girls were together, it would be a lot of hushed giggles and a lot of people being embarrassed and not really wanting to talk. So having that divisiveness in all honestly was kind of effective. Like when the girls were learning about periods, we could ask questions, we could be open . . . That being said, there are repercussions. That is a very fundamental way that we install stigma around things like periods and other sexual education topics,” said Raisa Ahmed, a fifth-year student.
“That kind of separation throughout sex education was definitely very prevalent in my experience. We were split up into our groups, we’d go into separate rooms and we learned different things. And then it kind of felt like this secret, like, “I know all these things now that the boys don't know” and I feel like you don't think about that when you're younger, about how you're learning different things than they are. But then when you get older, you realize it's kind of important that everyone learns the same thing so that we're all equally knowledgeable about sexual health and anything relating to that,” said Micaela McNulty, a fourth-year student.
It should be noted that while the Ontario public school sex education curriculum was revised most recently in 2019, students currently in university who attended Ontario public schools would have been taught using the 1998 curriculum. A smaller portion would have also been taught using the 2015 curriculum put forward by former Liberal premier Kathleen Wynne.
The 1998 curriculum was not as comprehensive as the 2015 one, as it did not address gender identity and sexual orientation. This lack of representation was something that many students felt strongly about, both at the time and looking back. They wished it had been discussed in more detail.
“[We] didn't cover queer and trans sex education, which for many queer trans students is super harmful. And it's hard for them because they don't get that knowledge from anywhere else, especially if they're not living in an environment or a home that may be conducive to having those conversations,” explained Christian Barborini, a fifth-year student.
“[We] didn't cover queer and trans sex education, which for many queer trans students is super harmful,” explained Christian Barborini, a fifth-year student.
Looking back, students noted they had a much better understanding of what they wished they had learned, while as children they didn’t quite grasp the gravity of the topics being discussed. Some suggested that this might have been because they hadn’t yet had any experience applying their education.
At University
Experience tends to fill in the gaps of education, however, those experiences aren’t always positive.
“Truthfully, I feel like most of my sex ed learning has come from being sexually active and being in university. It's such a crazy environment. I feel like you're so young and you're going into these experiences and there's just so much I didn't know . . . I wish I knew about consent and stigma and UTIs and yeast infections and so much stuff that wasn't covered. And it sort of makes me angry a bit . . . I just had to learn by experience and that sucked,” said Mavis Lyons, a fourth-year student.
Some students also noted that negative experiences in particular can isolate students, making it difficult for them to feel connected to the community or leaving them vulnerable to further negative experiences.
Overall, experience brought up questions or thoughts that students may not have even considered in the classroom education. This is why many students felt that sex education shouldn’t end in Grade 9, as it does in most Ontario public schools. Like all education, it is an ongoing process and it would be beneficial if the formal education system reflected that.
“Obviously, that doesn't mean that we shouldn't start early. But I think when we teach developing kids and young adults, it doesn't resonate as much until they're older and have actually experienced that stuff. You're not going to remember everything you learned in Grade 8 or Grade 9. So you need that constant education and to be constantly connecting those points as you go along, otherwise it's not really going to mean anything,” explained Ahmed.
Sex education — or lack thereof — can have significant influences on students’ wellbeing and sense of community. But open conversation can go a long way to improving both of those issues.
Since coming to university, many students have gravitated towards spaces where there is the opportunity for such conversation, such as the Pride Community Centre, the Women and Gender Equity Network or clubs like Period at McMaster.
“I needed a space like the PCC when it came to university because I didn't have that before. So I think that that speaks to the importance of community and community organization, especially for marginalized communities when it comes to sexual health because we don't get that anywhere else. I know that for me understanding sexuality and my sexuality specifically was a journey that did affect my mental health at one point when I started university and, connecting it back to the PCC, that's the reason why I value the PCC and other queer organizations that I have worked for. Because they've offered me that space to explore my identity that I didn't get in elementary and high school,” said Barborini, who is also the coordinator at the PCC.
“It felt almost therapeutic just having a space to discuss what your experiences are, especially on a taboo topic. I think that can be really helpful . . . just having an open space to talk about your experiences has been really valuable,” explained Thind, who is a member of Period at McMaster.
Students felt that these spaces have been especially beneficial to their mental health and their overall sense of wellbeing. Their involvement in groups such as these has helped them better understand topics related to sex education and health.
“Now that I went to university, especially with [Period at McMaster], I found more people who have had experiences like mine and I don't find it embarrassing anymore . . . I feel super comfortable talking about it now,” explained Celia Arrecis, co-president of Period at McMaster.
These groups also provide a vital sense of community.
“I think just the sense of community in the sense of having like-minded people around me who care about the same things [has] been a pretty positive influence on my mental health,” added Ahmed, who is the founder and co-president of Period at McMaster.
Conversation is essential to encouraging education and both are integral to fostering a sense of community. There is an increasing awareness about the importance of both, thanks in part to McMaster clubs and community organizations. Moving forward it’s important that we continue to have open conversations and educate ourselves so that we can bring sex education out of the negative space it’s occupied for so long.
Thoughts from an Indian emigrant on arranged marriages
By: Sharang Sharma, Contributor
cw: mentions of gender-based violence
As a kid, I was always proud of my parent’s love marriage. For those of you who are not familiar with arranged marriages, the term “love marriage” may feel redundant. As an Indian emigrant, I was always aware of the dichotomy between these two, though I never really understood the difference.
I used to think that arranged marriages were strange, archaic and even barbaric rituals, where families forced their children into unwanted marriages where they would live loveless lives.
So I was proud of my parents. They escaped! They were romantic revolutionaries! But as it tends to be with most things in life, things weren’t this simple.
Though there are still countless forced marriages that occur in and out of South Asia, arranged marriages are just defined as those first set up by the families of those being wed.
One family has an unwed son, another an unwed daughter (since these are, for the most part, very heteronormative) and the two families think they’ll like each other. They set up a meeting and see how it goes between them.
I once thought arranged marriages only occurred in India, but many emigrants still get arranged marriages. Often the couples live out long and loving marriages, as my aunt and some of my uncles can attest to.
Yet still, this notion struck me as strange. Isn’t love meant to be individual? Isn’t love supposed to come before marriage? After all my years living away from India, my family and the culture to be found there, I couldn’t really fathom the idea of getting an arranged marriage and why one would do so. So I asked my parents about it.
After all my years living away from India, my family and the culture to be found there, I couldn’t really fathom the idea of getting an arranged marriage and why one would do so. So I asked my parents about it.
Usually I think of arranged marriages as an old tradition, so I was briefly baffled by my dad’s story of putting up an advertisement in the local newspaper to find his sister a match. He took a small break from his doctoral research to go around meeting the families of prospective matches, a “scoping study” as he jokingly called it.
He met a “shady” Delhi family and another from Chandigarh, whom he described as trying really hard to come off as “trim and prim.” Finally, he met my uncle’s family. They were nice, well-off, their son (my uncle) was employed and they even had some links to family friends!
After a bit of vetting with these family friends, they decided to set up a meeting between my aunt and my uncle-to-be and soon enough they agreed to marry each other.
The red thread running through his story was family. Usually in such marriages, the wife will go and live with her husband and his extended family, becoming a part of his family. This isn’t just a union between two people, but between two extended groups.
The red thread running through his story was family. Usually in such marriages, the wife will go and live with her husband and his extended family, becoming a part of his family. This isn’t just a union between two people, but between two extended groups.
What my dad did was make sure that the family that his sister would become part of one that would take care of her. This was a process to ensure she would be happy.
However, there was a darker, blood-red thread running parallel. My grandparents wanted my aunt to marry someone from the same caste and class: this was a non-negotiable.
This aspect of arranged marriage is something we cannot overlook, especially as it becomes more normalized through shows such as Indian Matchmaking.
Due to my mom’s bad experiences with arranged marriage, she is not a fan of the institution. She remembered one United States ex-pat, who had a short-list of his prospective matches and the grades he had given them.
That’s right. Grades. B, B+, A- and so on his short-list ran. One word stood out as she spoke about this: “humiliating.” Being graded as though one were a mere collection of attributes and characteristics which could be quantified and maximized.
The other experience was being pressured to marry by a certain age. My mom not so fondly recalled her dad pressuring her to get married before she was “too old.”
Well, she knew a woman who had been pressured into an unwanted marriage and her husband had turned out to be emotionally and physically abusive. This was not the life my mom wanted.
The pressures my mom and other women faced are less prevalent for men. My dad got married in his early 30s and his parents never tried to push him into a marriage he didn’t want.
This dark side of arranged marriages had turned me against it when I was young. My mom had told me all about it: arranged marriages are steeped in patriarchal practices. Though perhaps not the barbaric practice it is often viewed as in many western countries, it is not a clean one either.
My mom had told me all about it: arranged marriages are steeped in patriarchal practices. Though perhaps not the barbaric practice it is often viewed as in many western countries, it is not a clean one either.
Talking to my parents was elucidating, but still, I don’t think I could ever get an arranged marriage. However, this is not to say that love marriage and marriage as seen from a more western perspective are perfectly ethical.
In fact, talking to my parents helped me realize the issues obscured in our own rituals of dating, love and marriage. Class and caste are important for many people but only arranged marriages are upfront about it. It would also be absurd to imagine that we have totally torn down patriarchal structures.
Rather than only criticize these issues in arranged marriages, we ought to use them as a mirror to examine our own practices of love.
What happens when your sister starts dating your close friend?
By: Niko Haloulos, Contributor
When my sister started dating one of my closest friends, I felt like I was looking into a kaleidoscope. I was distracted by the twisting shapes of my emotions, thoughts and feelings, but as time went on, I decided to look at their relationship as a full, unified pattern and it changed everything.
When we were allowed to see a few friends outdoors, I hosted a 19th birthday party. As smoke and laughter filled the air, I peeked over to see that my friend had snuck into the chair beside my sister. I guess they had been talking the entire night, even though they had never met before.
I woke up the next day and realized that my sister was acting giddier than normal. When I asked her about it, she simply said, “You know, if your friend there ever asks for my number, you can give it to him.”
Suddenly I realized that my friend and my sister had begun to develop something that they both thought was special. I couldn’t hinder that so when I met up with my friend a few days later, I offered to give him my sister’s phone number. He accepted.
I did not think much about the consequences of setting them up. It seemed like pretty standard procedure, just passing along a phone number and encouraging my friend to ask her out on a date.
At the time of the party, my sister was only a few months removed from a gruelling breakup so this felt like a good way for her to meet someone for whom I had the utmost respect, trust and love. For my friend, it was a chance for him to meet someone who would help him become a better man. So why did I have such a problem with it?
My sister was only a few months removed from a gruelling breakup so this felt like a good way for her to meet someone for whom I had the utmost respect, trust and love. For my friend, it was a chance for him to meet someone who would help him become a better man. So why did I have such a problem with it?
I began to close myself off from the two of them and I felt myself disliking my friend for a few weeks. I constantly reminded myself that I had offered to share my sister’s phone number and that I had known that he would be a really, really good match for her. Even though I knew this deep down, on the surface I could not help but feel like they were pulling themselves away from me.
I knew I could trust my friend but suddenly, like the flip of a switch, I went into protective brother mode. I couldn’t look at my friend without wondering how he was going to treat my sister poorly and though I know she can stand up for herself, it felt necessary.
Whenever my friend would come to the house, it felt like my sister and I were fighting over him. I would only be allowed in the basement for a certain amount of time because eventually she would ask to be alone with him.
I would throw the “Well, he was my friend first. Why can’t I talk to him?” and my sister would become frustrated. I said passive-aggressive things about their relationship and got angry whenever she said he was coming over.
Soon enough, my sister became worried that I had a problem with their relationship and the anxiety in her expression when she asked me was devastating.
I didn’t own anybody. My sister is strong and knows her own worth, but for her to suddenly think that she would be offending me was a wake-up call.
My friend, too, became worried that he had crossed some kind of line. He asked my sister if I was truly unhappy about them being together and said he wished I would talk to him personally. When my sister told me what he had said, I was saddened.
I had been blinded so much by my pride that I forgot to consider one thing: happiness. Being with my friend had brought a sparkle to my sister’s eyes that had been absent for a long time. My friend, too, slowly began to change, becoming more mature.
I had been blinded so much by my pride that I forgot to consider one thing: happiness. Being with my friend had brought a sparkle to my sister’s eyes that had been absent for a long time. My friend, too, slowly began to change, becoming more mature.
After long talks with my sister and my friend, we reached a better place. We still had some small riffs, but the instances of disagreement became more lighthearted, rather than rooted in jealousy and regret.
When he came over to see my sister, I knew my only role was as the brother. When my friend and I planned to hang out, I didn’t discourage him from saying hi to my sister.
I’ve realized that all three of us have become stronger emotionally by sharing this love that propels itself in different directions. My trust in my friend has grown exponentially because of how he has treated my sister.
While we’ve always been close, I have been able to communicate more openly with my sister since her relationship with my friend started.
The awkwardness took time to clear and I had to communicate very openly about how I felt. Now I’m still standing in the middle ground, figuring out how to equally distribute my time between my friend and my sister and not get in the way of something truly special.
Their relationship is not a violation, but more of an invitation for me to explore just how appreciative I can be about something that is so genuine, pure and beautiful.
Brass Beauties empowers Hamiltonians with the art of pole-dancing
Seven years ago, Lisa Esposto started pole-dancing. She originally bought into it to strengthen her core. After a month of pole-dancing, she became hooked on taking daily classes.
“It helps me a lot mentally, helps me look at myself in a different way, [I] became more confident in my everyday life . . . It also helps with some physical appearance demons that most females deal with at some point,” said Esposto.
A year later, she purchased the studio from the owner, turning it into Brass Beauties. The name comes from the foundation of treating everyone equally beautiful, as explained by Esposto.
“Everyone creates their own beauty. You can see your instructor, but you’re never going to move like them; you’re going to find your own way. It may be a hybrid, but you’re going to put your own twist on it,” said Esposto.
“Everyone creates their own beauty. You can see your instructor, but you’re never going to move like them; you’re going to find your own way. It may be a hybrid, but you’re going to put your own twist on it,” said Esposto.
As an owner, Esposto’s main responsibilities primarily look at the finances and management of the studio. But as an instructor, she helps women to feel more empowered in many different ways.
“Anybody can do it, you just have to put the time in like everything else in life . . . It’s just how much you want it,” said Esposto.
On a personal level, Esposto tries to ensure women are comfortable within the studio. She provides them with a space to dance that empowers and distracts them from what’s outside the studio’s four walls.
“Life is hard outside, it’s just a space to let them forget about the crappiness of life. If they’re having a bad day, they talk to me and we just go from there. I look at them as my family,” said Esposto.
Despite the studio not being your typical weights-based gym, Brass Beauties still provided a social atmosphere to its dancers.
“Not only are they getting a workout, but we also joke around. So they are missing the social aspect of it right now,” said Esposto.
Esposto also re-iterates how the dancers come together as a huge support system and thus, motivate each other.
“If someone catches you slacking, they’re going to call you out,” said Esposto.
Brass Beauties holds a variety of classes: fitness, dance, tricks, flexibility and hammocks.
The fitness class is all-levels whereas, for the dance classes, they vary by levels, from beginner pole-dancing with heavy instruction to more advanced classes where freestyle is available.
A popular trick class includes upside-down dancing. Flexibility classes include all types of stretching. There is also a floor dancing class, so dancers can transition from the pole to the floor and vice versa.
While the majority of the patrons are adult women, the studio has offered four-week hammock classes for children prior to the COVID-19 pandemic. Now, due to the pandemic, the hammocks can’t be used due to public safety guidelines on cloth usage. With that being said, there are plans for the studio to expand its target audience.
“The plan is to, at some point in the future, incorporate male students. We’ll probably run another children’s program, which was a huge hit,” explained Esposto.
Aside from the classes, Brass Beauties holds two annual shows. Their last show was just before the March 2020 lockdown. They also participate in the Festival of Friends every year, where dancers perform with a portable pole. Two years ago, the studio had the opportunity to participate in Supercrawl.
In the pandemic, the studio had the opportunity to re-open from July to December, in accordance with the provincial government’s guidelines and restrictions.
“It’s a bit of a struggle to offer online classes because not everyone has the equipment [pole],” said Esposto.
When thinking about the long-term future of the studio, Esposto emphasized the importance of exposure to more festivals and accessibility to equipment.
“Right now, my main focus is getting out of COVID and getting the girls back on the poles,” said Esposto.
“Right now, my main focus is getting out of COVID and getting the girls back on the poles,” said Esposto.
