Surviving university as an Introvert
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Three years ago, I left Welcome Week feeling like I didn’t belong in the McMaster community. All the screaming and spontaneous Gangman Style mobs just weren’t my thing. The whole week seemed to cater only to extroverts and seemingly extroverted introverts. My only recluses were the friends I made in my small faculty and the few friends I knew coming to McMaster.
For this year’s crop of frosh who are concerned or disillusioned, there are two things you should know. First, your university career is probably not going to be like Welcome Week. You’ll find your little niche, and do the things you like with a small clique of friends. There will be no yelling “HYPE HYPE HYPE” or “nae nae”-ing on the street.
That said, by design an extrovert can more easily succeed in university socially than an introvert. Residence life for an introvert is like living in a minefield of social opportunities and situations. Luckily, that doesn’t mean an introvert is doomed. To survive, you have to get to know your preferences. You may like to spend time by yourself or take time to observe and think before you act. Focus on your interests and make as many—or likely in this case, as few—connections as you desire. Once you figure out what you like, you can easily find people and extracurricular activities that are compatible to you. Clubs are great because you get to talk about what you’re interested in with a small group of people.
Jillian Perkins-Marsh, an Alumni Career Counsellor at the Student Success Centre, says it is also important to take the risk of experiencing new things through experiential programming like MacServe and job shadowing. “At the end of the day you are gaining skills for your own personal development. The experiences always teach you something about yourself even if it doesn’t work out. Personality is not static.”
As an introvert, it’s very important to find the right balance between socializing and taking time for yourself. You should know how to get away when you need to. Your family is a phone call away and they definitely want to hear from you. Find places where you can be quiet and alone on campus if you need to (ETB is a great place that not many people frequent). Jillian also suggests being open about what you need with those around you.
While on this journey of self-discovery it is important to realize that you’re not alone.
In Susan Cain’s TED talk, “The Power of Introverts”, Cain reveals the shocking fact that approximately one third to half of the population identify as introverts. Jillian also suggests completing a Myers-Brig test. “Reading up on yourself can be a really enlightening process.” Frankly, there’s no shame in cozying up in your bed by your lonesome with your boyfriend pillow and Netflix (or as I like to call it, Netflix and no chill).
The second thing you should know is that Welcome Week as a whole actually isn’t so bad. Sure events like MacConnector and PJ Parade are intended for extroverts, but there are plenty of opportunities for introverts as well. If reps did their jobs properly, hopefully at some point in the week you had a nice quiet conversation with a rep or painted a rock or made a bracelet at the chill tent.
Full disclosure, as a Welcome Week faculty planner this year, I have my biases. On the other hand, I’m not the archetypal rep because I’m a quiet introvert. This past week my screaming was kept to a minimum and I was mostly silent in planner meetings. In the past I was worried about what people thought about me given how quiet I was, but the truth is the people who matter don’t think any less of you. They understand where you’re coming from and they know that you are engaged. While as an introvert, it is worthwhile to try to branch out and practice speaking to groups, it’s important to remember that you are simply wired to prefer one way of acting. Forcing yourself to change is as silly as trying to convince yourself that you like boiled eggplant.
On the distinction between branching out and trying too hard to change who you are, Jillian says that it “depends on your own motivations. You should know whether you are doing what you want versus what you think people want you to do.”
Just know that, as an introvert, you can still be a part of the McMaster community if you want to.
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