Ace the family interview
By: Daniella Porano
Meeting the family is one of the most stress-inducing parts of a relationship. Between the awkward introductions, like fumbling around or going for a handshake instead of a hug, and the onslaught of uncomfortable questions, like what you plan on doing with your life, it can be a downright terrifying experience. But have no fear, with these simple etiquette tips and your rockin’ personality, you’ll be sure to ace the first family date.
1. Do your research.
Remember, your partner is part of this family and is the best person to ask for information pre-meeting. Ask your partner about family customs, what they like, or bits of info to get a better understanding of them. Basically, dig around, especially for something that can be used as a conversation starter or to establish a commonality between a family member and yourself. Also, make sure your partner lets their family know of any dietary restrictions or other critical information to avoid uncomfortable kitchen/restaurant/event scrambles.
2. Be helpful and endlessly polite.
Always ask if assistance is needed in setting the table, preparing food, or cleaning up afterwards. Even if they decline, offering goes a long way.
3. Bring a small gift.
Personally, I think the best gifts are something everyone can share. If they love desert, bring along some pie or delicious pastries. If they enjoy drinking with dinner, bring a bottle of wine.
4. Take a page from the family.
Whether they do European-style double kisses, firm handshakes, dinner at 5 p.m., or 9 p.m., order takeout, or concoct a massive home-cooked meal, observe, follow their lead, and ultimately, be respectful of family traditions.
5. Step away from controversial debate topics.
This is not the time to bring up politics or religion, or really anything that makes people heated. It never ends well.
6. Don’t just focus on your partner!
Interact with everyone and make an effort to engage in conversation with other people at the table.
7. Don’t put your partner down
Even if it’s a joke. Seriously, don’t .
8. Turn off your phone
Or, at least leave it in your coat pocket.
9. In terms of how to dress,
it’s a good opportunity to showcase a muted version of your personal style. I’d keep the skin exposure to a minimum and always lean towards the more conservative and clean-cut side of the clothing spectrum until you get to know them better. Meeting the family is almost like a job interview, so your first impression is incredibly important and can leave a lasting impact. Trust me, you don’t want to be “that person who wore a t-shirt that featured a sexually explicit Rob Ford quote to meet Grammy.”
10. Most importantly, be yourself.
As cheesy as this tip is, it’s important to be relaxed and show who you are. After all, you’re getting to know them as well.
